


The Librarian

by weirdestone



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Aurors, Awkward Flirting, Devotion, Epic Friendship, F/F, F/M, Jail, Libraries, Love Confessions, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mentor Minerva McGonagall, Order of the Phoenix (Harry Potter), Overprotective Remus, Police, Protectiveness, Secret Crush, Self Confidence Issues, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Strong Female Characters, Suicidal Thoughts, True Love, Well-Meaning Dumbledore, Wrongful Imprisonment
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-21
Updated: 2017-05-29
Packaged: 2018-09-01 06:02:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 28
Words: 46,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8612023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weirdestone/pseuds/weirdestone
Summary: Faith Howell was not a great witch, sometimes she doubted if she was even a good one. But she had a talent with books and knowledge, a gift that Professor McGonagall had always encouraged. It was a calling that would serve the wizarding world well, and gave the Order of the Phoenix an upper hand against an enemy that delighted in the obscure. Eventually, it would even lead her to becoming Hogwarts' librarian; where her kind heart and gentle soul gave many students comfort. But fate still has plans for the shy librarian, and they involve a man she never thought she'd see again.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters. I am not making any money off of this.

Faith Howell walked cautiously into King’s Cross station with her parents, searching for her Aunt Hope, Uncle Lyall, and most especially her _favorite_ cousin Remus. The Lupin family had always moved around a lot, so she didn’t get to see them often; but the few times they did get together Remus and Faith always got on well. Now, they would be going to _school_ together! They would be able to spend time together every day! Granted… finding out that she was a witch was… strange. But nice! Very nice! Apparently, Uncle Lyall was a wizard, so Remus would probably know how to handle things.

 

When she finally met Remus’ eyes, they grinned at each other and she ran into his outstretched arms to give him a hug. “Remus! Remus I’m so glad to see you! It’s been so long! You look so _handsome_! This is so wonderful!”

 

He laughed and hugged her tight, “I’m glad to see you too! This is going to be fun!”

 

She nuzzled into him and said, “It’ll be nice to have a friend here.”

 

He rested his head on hers, “Definitely.”

 

She turned and smiled at her Aunt and Uncle, “It’s really good to see you too!”

 

Aunt Hope became teary eyed and wrapped Faith in her arms, “You are still just _so sweet_! You’re growing up so _pretty_!”

 

Faith returned the hug, then she turned to Uncle Lyall, who gave her a hug and said, “I’m glad you and Remus will have each other. It eases our minds.”

 

When she pulled away from her Uncle she nodded solemnly, “Don’t worry, I’ll protect Remus.”

 

They laughed and Hope said, “I’m sure you will, sweetheart.”

 

Her parents walked up then and they all hugged and asked about each other’s trips. Finally, Remus and Faith walked arm in arm to the train and went looking for a seat. They walked by one with two handsome, dark haired boys. One of them said, “Hey! You can sit with us!”

 

Remus looked down at Faith, she bit her lip and nodded. They sat in the seats across from them and Faith hid her face in Remus’ arm shyly. Remus smiled down at her and then smiled at the boys, “Thanks for inviting us. I’m Remus Lupin, and this is my cousin Faith Howell. Don’t worry, she’s just a bit shy. All this is new to her.”

 

They both went wide eyed, the one who wasn’t wearing glasses seemed especially shocked (and a bit reverent). He asked, quietly, “Are you… are you a _muggleborn_?”

 

She peeked out slightly from Remus’ arm, then whispered in Remus’ ear, “What’s a muggleborn?”

 

He whispered back, “It means you were born into a non-magical family.”

 

She whispered again, “Why is he so surprised by it?”

 

“He’s probably from a pureblood family.”

 

“Pureblood? You mean… like dogs?”

 

Remus shook his head, “No… well… yeah, actually. It’s sort of like that, but I wouldn’t use that analogy often. And you’re thinking of the word purebred.”

 

She turned to the boys and asked, “So… you two are purebred then?”

 

They both looked shocked at the question, and Remus hid his face in embarrassment, but then the two boys laughed. The boy who’d spoken before grinned at Faith and took her hand, giving it a kiss, before saying, “Sirius Black, purebred wizard, at your service.”

 

Faith blushed and giggled, before hiding in Remus’ arm again.

 

The boy with glasses laughed and said, “I’m James Potter, by the way. You don’t need to hide, we won’t bite…”

 

Sirius smirked, “Well… I might bite a little bit.”

 

Faith went wide eyed and looked up at Remus. Remus shook his head, “He’s kidding, Faith. It’s a joke.”

 

At the sorting hat ceremony Faith looked at Remus with fright, “What if we aren’t sorted into the same house?”

 

Remus sighed, “If that happens, we’ll figure it out. Let’s just see, shall we?”

 

Sirius got sorted into Gryffindor, seeming very happy about it, as did James.

 

When it was Faith’s turn, she cautiously walked up to the sorting hat and looked up at the teacher standing next to the chair with fear. The teacher smiled and winked at her, which made Faith feel better. She jumped up onto the chair, and the teacher put the hat on her head. It had barely rested there a moment when it shouted, “GRYFFINDOR!”

 

As the teacher took the hat from her head she whispered, “That’s my house. Congratulations!”

 

Faith smiled bashfully, “Thanks…”

 

The teacher pointed to the Gryffindor table and she walked up to it, where James and Sirius were waving at her enthusiastically. Sirius patted the seat next to him and she hesitantly sat in it. He put his arm around her shoulders and said, “Looks like you’re stuck with us!”

 

She blushed tomato red and looked down, smiling.

 

When Remus got sorted into Gryffindor as well she sighed in relief. Remus made his way over to the table and when he saw Sirius sitting so close to his cousin he narrowed his eyes and said, “Hey Faith, let me sit there and you can sit in the one next to me.”

 

She nodded and was perfectly happy to comply, since Sirius had been making her feel very nervous anyway. When Remus sat down next to Sirius he narrowed his eyes meaningfully at him. To which, Sirius just shrugged and smiled.

 

When Remus said he was sick one day, looking tired and ragged, Faith got very worried about him and couldn’t sleep; so went to the common room to read. But then she saw Remus sneaking out and hid behind the couch before following him out. He met Professor McGonagall and they walked toward the whomping willow, the Professor leaving shortly afterward. Faith walked toward the tree, dancing away from the branches as well as she could and then finding the hidden pathway. She began to make her way up the pathway, but then she heard Remus scream, and was about to take off running up to him; but then the screams turned animalistic and some base instinct inside of her told her to run… To run fast and run far. Something was happening to Remus that she couldn’t help him with, something dark and painful. So, she turned and took off, but knew she’d need to check the Hospital wing in the morning.

 

Sure enough, Remus was in a bed in the Hospital Wing the next morning. So, she sat next to the bed and took hold of his hand. He looked at her curiously and smiled, “It’s alright, Faith. Really, I’m okay.”

 

She shook her head, “No, you’re not.”

 

He went wide eyed, then looked sad, “So… you found out?”

 

She nodded, then smiled softly at her beloved cousin, “I found out that you’re sick. But… it’s alright, Remus. I’ll take care of you.”

 

He smiled, then hugged her, “I love you, Faith.”

 

“I love you too, Remus.”

 

That afternoon, Remus quietly confided to his cousin the horrible truth about his lycanthropy. She took the news with a quiet grace and understanding that made him love her even more, and at the end they knew they were bonded for life. Come what may, they would look out for one another.


	2. I hate you!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment, until it becomes a memory."   
> \- Dr. Seuss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters. I am not making any money off of this.

5th year

Faith had finished her assignment and so was quietly reading her book when she felt a ball of parchment hit the back of her head. She turned, narrowing her eyes at Sirius Black; who looked away and whistled as if he hadn’t done anything. “You are the most annoying person in the _world_ , Sirius Black!”

 

He snorted, “Don’t be so dramatic, Faith. There’s no way I’m the most annoying person in the _world_. This classroom? Probably. Hogwarts? Possibly. But the world? I doubt it.”

 

She gave a long-suffering sigh, “Shouldn’t you be _working_?”

 

“Shouldn’t you? I don’t think Jane Austin is a charms topic.” Sirius shot back, narrowing his eyes.

 

“I’m done with my assignment, and unlike _some people_ I can entertain myself without being a pest!” She hissed at him.

 

“Quiet, both of you!” Remus growled, then grabbed the paper ball and threw it (hard) at Sirius’ face. “And don’t throw things at my cousin!”

 

Sirius frowned, then rolled his eyes, “So sorry! I wasn’t aware that her royal dorkiness was so delicate that paper couldn’t touch her.”

 

Faith glared at him, “I hate you!”

 

“I hate you more!” Sirius snarled.

 

“Quiet back there! Five points from Gryffindor for disrupting the class!” Professor Flitwick yelled.

 

With one final glare at one another they went back to what they’d been doing.

 

James had used the levicorpus charm to dangle Severus Snape in the air, much to the delight of his friends. Remus was standing by silently, and Peter was watching James raptly. Sirius, of course, was enthusiastically cheering him on.

 

“Stop it! What are you doing?!?” Faith shouted out, running towards them.

 

Sirius stood in front of her, “Don’t get involved, Faith. This isn’t your business.”

 

“What do you mean it isn’t my business? Get out of my way, you barbarian!” Faith shouted, throwing up her hands.

 

“Yeah, leave him alone!” Lily Evans shouted, coming toward them.

 

James smirked at her, “Alright Lily, I’ll leave him alone. If you go on a date with me!”

 

Faith made a face, and Lily responded, “I would rather snog the giant squid!”

 

Faith couldn’t help but chuckle a bit at that, and Sirius glared at her. She stuck out her tongue at him, before trying again to get away.

 

Finally, James let Snape down. But Snape only glared and spat out, “I don’t need any help from a couple of _mudbloods_!”

 

Faith gasped at the insult, covering her mouth. Within moments Sirius went from barring her way to turning and donning a protective stance, glaring daggers at Snape.

 

Lily looked devastated at his words for a moment, but then she glared and said, “Fine with me _Snivellous.”_ She then looked at Faith and without a word grabbed for her hand and pulled her away from the boys and back toward the school, “Come on Faith, we’re getting out of here!”

 

Faith blinked, surprised. She was in the same room as Lily, but they’d never been _friends_. Not grabbing and dragging friends, certainly. In fact, it was surprising to Faith that Lily had even remembered her name. But she was more than willing to get away from that mess for now, though they’d be hearing about it later.

 

When they got back to Hogwarts, Lily turned and hugged Faith. “Thank you, for trying to help.”

 

Faith gingerly returned the hug, patting her back, “It… it’s no problem. You have to stand up for what’s right… and all that.” She finished weakly.

 

Lily smiled at her, “Want to go get some biscuits in the kitchen?”

 

Faith blinked, “Sure… if you want to.” This was much too odd. Lily was… well… she was perfect. Beautiful, well-dressed, graceful, charming, smart without being a gigantic dork… she even had a pretty laugh! Why the hell was she being so nice to Faith? Nobody paid attention to her outside of the Marauders and Professor McGonagall, _nobody_. It wasn’t as if Faith had done something extraordinary, she yelled at the guys all the time!

 

But, nevertheless, she followed Lily down to the kitchen and the elves happily gave them tea and biscuits. Faith smiled at the elves and thanked them heavily, she _loved_ house elves. When the boys were off doing… whatever it was that they did… she would often go to the kitchen and talk with them. They were _so_ nice, and they never seemed to mind her company.

 

Lily found a counter where they could sit and then smiled at Faith, “You know… other than me, you’re the only person who ever stands up to them.”

 

Faith tilted her head, “Well… it’s just Remus, James, Peter, and stupid Sirius. It’s not like they’re going to disown me if I disagree with them. Remus is my best friend and cousin, James is basically my big brother (his words, not mine), Peter… well… he would never disagree with James, and Sirius likes picking on me too much to let me out of his sight for long.”

 

“You and Sirius really don’t get along, do you?” Lily asked curiously.

 

Faith sighed, “We used to, in fact he was my closest friend (other than Remus) until third year.”

 

“What happened third year?” Lily asked curiously.

 

Faith shrugged, “I don’t know what happened on _his_ end. He suddenly started pulling my hair, dipping my hair in ink, teasing me _relentlessly_ , and he always tests the things he gets at Zonko’s on _me_ first! Between all that and the guys picking on Snape… well… eventually we got to where we are now. At each other’s throats.” A sad, wistful look crept across Faith’s face then. “I wish it wasn’t that way… I miss being able to talk to him. Remus is wonderful, but… Sirius was kind of nice to have around. Before he became a jerk.”

 

Lily looked at her sympathetically, “I’m sorry… that has to be hard.” She tilted her head, “What about James? You don’t think he’s a jerk?”

 

Faith rolled her eyes, “Oh no… he can _absolutely_ be a jerk! He’s so cocky that he gets himself into unfathomable levels of trouble, you wouldn’t _believe_ some of the messes I’ve had to help him out of.” She sighed, “Which usually winds up landing me in detention with them.” She smirked, “He’s tried to get me to help him win _you_ over, as a matter of fact.”

 

Lily went wide eyed, “And what did you say?”

 

Faith rolled her eyes, “Well _no_ , of course! I gave him advice on what he could do to be less off-putting, but that’s about it. If he can’t win over the girl he likes on his own terms, then that’s his problem.”

 

Lily laughed, “Well, thank you for that!”

 

Faith grinned, “You’re welcome!” She gave Lily a curious look then, “But, you know… James, most of the time, is really quite lovely. He’s always been ridiculously good to me, and to his other friends, and very sweet when he’s not being a jerk. To be honest, he’s even becoming less of a jerk by the day. In fact, I have a feeling that he’ll be downright decent by the time he’s out of Hogwarts.”

 

Lily gave her a wry look, “I thought you weren’t going to help him win me over.”

 

She shrugged and smiled as she pushed her glasses up her nose, “I’m not trying to win you over, I’m just pointing out certain truths that you might not have noticed.”

 

Lily laughed, “If you say so!”

 

Sirius glared at the back of Faith’s head in Divination class. She hadn’t talked to him in _days,_ and he was sick of it. All Remus had to do was apologize for not stepping in when they confronted Snivelly, and all was forgiven; Peter tended to get a free pass on things like that, because Faith felt bad for him (for whatever reason); and James, he got scolded within an inch of his life but then she forgave him. But _him_ , she seemed to have no intention of talking to him ever again. He supposed he _could_ say he was sorry, but he had no idea what he’d be sorry _for_. As far as he was concerned, they hadn’t done anything wrong.

 

Now Faith was sitting at a different table than usual, with Lily Evans and Frank Longbottom, and he _did not like_ the way that Frank was looking at Faith. That asshole was making cow eyes at Faith so hard that he was surprised he wasn’t burning a hole in the back of her skull, not that she noticed. Oh no, she was just happy as could be with her tarot cards and talking to Lily. And since when was she friends with Lily anyway?!?

 

Not that Sirius could blame Frank for finding Faith attractive. He understood, in a way. After all, Faith was kind of pretty… in a dorky way. She had long, silky hair that was the color of toffee pudding, dark green eyes that sparkled beneath her glasses, a lovely pink mouth that looked really soft; she had the face of an angel, was so short that he was a whole head taller than her, and she was beautifully round with all the right things in all the right places. Add all that to the fact that she was just so fucking sweet… and kind… and brilliant… and such an absolute darling in every way that he just couldn’t… couldn’t…

 

“ ** _Stop staring at my cousin_**!” Remus hissed quietly.

 

And… there it was. “Stay away from my cousin”, “stop looking at my cousin”, “stop spending so much time with my cousin” … it was maddening. Since the very first day Remus had watched him like a hawk whenever Faith was around, always ready to strike if he thought Sirius was becoming too friendly (or unfriendly). But why the hell was Remus getting on _him_ about looking at Faith, and not Frank? Longbottom was the one that clearly had a thing for her, not  _him_.

 

“Why are you mad at _me_? Look at _Frank_ over there!” Sirius hissed back.  

 

Remus turned, and sure enough, he glared at Frank. At least he was an equal-opportunity mother hen.

 

But that’s when it happened. That’s when Faith turned, saw the way Frank was looking at her… and blushed with a smile. Sirius’ eyes widened, and it felt as if his entire world was turning sideways. He’d never expected that Faith would _like someone;_ not in _that_ way. But there she was, right in front of his eyes, returning Frank’s smiles and accepting his gentle flirtation.

 

It made him want to jump on the table and kick Frank in the face; and that was the most disturbing part of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [My Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/bofurandori)


	3. Alright

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's hard to go on living while loving someone secretly, it hurts to see the one you love so happy with someone else, but the most painful thing about hiding love is that it never fades away.  
> \- Unknown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters. I am not making any money off of this.

6th Year

 

Frank kissed Faith gently as they held hands on a bench in Hogsmede. He really was _so_ nice. He’d bought them hot chocolate and they’d been talking about their Christmas plans as they watched the snow. Faith rested her head on his shoulder and sighed happily, perfectly content as she was.

 

“Are you happy?” Frank asked, looking down at her.

 

Happy? Well, she supposed she was. She was completely at peace, at the very least. So, that must be happiness… right? So, she opened her mouth to answer in the affirmative. But just then…

 

Sirius sat down next to her, a dark look on his face. “Hello.”

 

Faith looked at him, wide eyed in surprise. Frank glared at him, “Hello Sirius.”

 

Sirius put an arm behind Faith’s back, “How’s it going, mate?”

 

Frank tightened his hold on her shoulders, “Just fine. Can I help you with something?”

 

“Just checking in with my favorite girl and her… you.” Sirius said, narrowing his eyes. Faith looked at him a disbelieving look. Certainly, they’d made moves toward rekindling their friendship recently… but _favorite girl_? Please.

 

“The word you’re searching for is _boyfriend_ , Sirius. I know it’s a foreign concept to you, seeing as how you never see a girl more than twice.” Frank growled.

 

“Alright, that’s _quite_ enough!” Faith said, standing up. “I don’t know what’s crawled up your bums, but I hope it dies _real_ soon. For now, though, I see my cousin.” With that, she walked over to Remus; who embraced her. James and Lily had been holding hands and laughing, but when they saw how distressed Faith was Lily went to her to find out what had happened.

 

James, however, was glaring and making his way toward Sirius. They’d _discussed_ this!

 

Lily jumped up, “A spider!”

 

Faith looked up from her book curiously.

 

“Oh, it’s a _big_ one too!” Sirius said, fascinated, leaning forward to get a better look.

 

“I _hate_ spiders!” Peter squealed, jumping away from it.

 

Remus rolled his eyes, “Just someone get it, please.”

 

James rolled up some papers, holding them above his head and saying, “I’ll get it!”

 

Faith reached out and stopped the papers from hitting down, “No, _I’ll_ get it.” Then she pulled a paper out of her bag and gently guided the spider onto it, before running toward the nearest window and letting it go outside. “There you go, mate. Trust me, it’s better this way.” Afterward, she just calmly went back to the table and sat back down.

 

Everyone was looking at her in awe. Finally, Lily asked, “You aren’t afraid of spiders?”

 

Faith frowned, “Why would I be afraid of spiders? Spiders are our friends, the amount of disease and pestilence they save us from is absolutely staggering.”

 

“But… they’re so creepy. So many _eyes_!” Peter said.

 

Faith looked at him pointedly, “I don’t know what that has to do with anything. I try not to judge people by their appearance, personally.”

 

“Some of them are poisonous!” Lily said, as if Faith hadn’t been clued in to that.

 

“They are mostly poisonous to their prey, which (unless it’s an acromantula) is not you. Since we live in Britain, not Australia, there aren’t many spiders that are venomous enough to bother humans… about 12, actually. Of those 12 there is only 1 that is aggressive enough to be harmful, namely the false widow spider. And that, my dear Lily, usually is only as painful as a wasp sting; and pretty easy to spot. So, the whole poisonous thing isn’t much of a detriment either.” Faith said matter-of-factly.

 

Sirius was grinning at her as he rested his chin on his fist, but she ignored him.

 

James leaned forward, “How do you know this stuff?”

 

Faith pointed to her book, “I read _all the time_ , James, about everything. I know quite a bit about quite a bit. Knowledge is power, after all; it cures diseases, helps navigate everything from Hogwarts to the universe, gives you the tools you need to defeat life’s challenges…” She smirked, “Deters fear and hatred. There’s a reason Dumbledore is revered for being the wisest wizard in the world, it’s a very important thing.”

 

“That’s my girl…” Sirius whispered.

 

Faith’s head shot to where Sirius was sitting, “Pardon… what did you just say?”

 

Sirius blinked and shook his head, “No… nothing. Nothing at all.”

 

Faith raised an eyebrow, “Alright…”

 

Lily shrugged, “I still think they’re creepy.”

 

Faith smiled at her, “And that is perfectly fine as well. You point them out and I’ll take them away.”

 

Lily chuckled, “Deal.”

 

Remus put an arm around Faith saying, “My brave cousin.” She just smiled and leaned into his embrace before going back to her book.

 

“I really don’t understand what the problem is…” Faith said, running her hands through her hair.

 

“Of course you don’t. How could you…?” Frank replied, looking defeated. “You five… you have your own little society going on. You made room for Lily, but… you haven’t done the same for me. No matter where we go, or what we do, we’re _never_ alone. You’ve always got your…” At that moment, Remus and Sirius walked in, and Frank glared. His point had been made. “Bodyguards.”

 

Remus glared back, “What’s going on?”

 

Frank threw up his hands, “Nothing! Nothing at all! You never miss _anything_! Ever!” He began to walk away, “You can have her all to yourself again. I’m done.”

 

Faith could only stare after him, a lead weight dropping in her stomach. Tears began to well in her eyes, and she didn’t know what to do. She’d never been so hurt or humiliated in her entire life.

 

Sirius growled, glaring daggers after Frank, “Fuck that guy… he didn’t deserve you anyway.” Then he went up to Faith and took her hand, “It’s going to be okay. Come on, let’s go get some tea. Then we can go to the library and you can find a new book!” He smiled at her, clearly thinking it was the most brilliant plan he’d ever had.

 

She shook her head and pulled away from him, “No thank you… I think I’d like to be alone.” Without another word, she turned and made her way out of Hogwarts.

 

Finally, she settled under a tree by the lake, just watching the water and trying to make sense of everything. For some reason, she couldn’t even cry; and it made the whole thing that much worse. Maybe if she could cry, it wouldn’t hurt so much. But no… there was only shock and pain. What had she done wrong? What did Frank expect her to do, shun the people she loved?

 

But then it occurred to her. It wasn’t that he wanted her to shun them, he just wanted to be special enough to her that they weren’t welcome in _every_ moment. What did it say about her that she couldn’t do that for him? That she couldn’t free a space in her life that was just for him? Or maybe it just said something about her feelings toward him. Perhaps… perhaps just liking someone, and feeling comfortable in their presence, wasn’t all that mattered in a romantic relationship? Perhaps she’d set her bar a little too low, causing her to be a little too lax in her devotion, and poor Frank had paid the price.

 

Just then, her pet raven Poe flew down to her. Remus had given it to her at the beginning of this year, and she was terribly fond of the bird already. She smiled at it and began to stroke its glossy black feathers, “What do you think, Poe? You’re the smart one. Am I a horrible person?”

 

Poe gave her a look that told her that he thought the very idea was idiocy.

 

She laughed, “But I _am_ a horrible girlfriend.”

 

The raven nudged into her robes.

 

“Now you’re just skirting the question.” She chuckled.

 

Poe looked up at her and cawed.

 

“Whatever, you’re biased.” She said, and was surprised when tears finally began to fall from her eyes. “Oh, Poe. I’m a mess.”

 

Poe just picked at her robes.

 

Faith couldn’t sleep. Her mind refused to quiet itself, and she was beginning to feel trapped in her curtained bed. Everyone else was still sleeping, so she wrapped herself in a blanket and grabbed her book; Poe jumping from her headboard and onto her shoulder before she headed downstairs. But when she got to the common room, she stopped dead in her tracks. There on the sofa, illuminated by the firelight, was Sirius Black. He was _not_ someone she wanted to see right now, partially because he was part of what was confusing her. Ever since her breakup with Frank he had been _everywhere_. It didn’t matter where she went anymore, if it wasn’t a specifically female location Sirius would show up there; and she wasn’t quite sure what to do about that.

 

It didn’t help that his close proximity had… well… it had suddenly made her _very_ aware that Sirius was _male._ How had she spent so much time around him, for so many years, and not noticed how good he smelled? Or how handsome he was? Or that his laugh was absolutely infectious, and his smile lit up the room? Maybe it was just because he’d been such a _jerk_ toward her for _so_ long, but still… it was intoxicating. And frustrating beyond belief.

 Before she could turn and go back to bed he looked up at her and asked, “Couldn’t sleep?”

 

She nodded, something about the situation making her silent.

 

He smiled gently, “Bad dreams?”

 

“Not… exactly…” She said shyly, clutching her book to her chest.

 

He chuckled, and his smile lit up his face. He patted the seat next to him, “Come on then, keep me company. I _did_ have nightmares.”

 

She went wide eyed, and couldn’t help but go to him then. The thought of him being in pain hurt her heart, which she decided to brush off as friendly concern.

 

When she sat down next to Sirius he gently took the book from her, looking at it, “Folklore of the ancient wizards. Well… that’s… interesting.”

 

She huffed, “First of all, Professor McGonagall gave this to me. Secondly, _someone_ needs to remember the old tales. Might come in handy.”

 

He gave her a wry look, “Oh? How?”

 

She shrugged and smiled, “You never know. Like this…” She flipped to a page in the middle, “The legend of the Deathly Hallows. It has an elder wand… The resurrection stone… even an invisibility cloak that never loses effectiveness!” She gave him a foxy look, “Imagine something like that.”

 

His eyes sparkled at her, “Can’t hide anything from you, can we?”

 

She shook her head, “Not much.” She gave him a soft smile, “By the way… thank you.”

 

He tilted his head at her, “For what?”

 

“For helping Remus. It’s…” Her eyes began to water, “It’s everything, to the both of us. I hope you know that. After so many years of him having to hide the truth, it’s really wonderful that he’s found such accepting friends; that are willing to go to such lengths to help him.” She put her hand on his arm, “So thanks, for looking out for him.”

 

For a moment, Sirius just stared at her. Then he cleared his throat and looked away, “It’s no problem. Remus… he deserves it. He’s the best.”

 

She chuckled softly, “Yeah… he really is.”

 

He looked down at her once again, “You’re not so bad, either.”

 

Faith blushed and cleared her throat, “Other than being the Queen of the Dorks?”

 

Sirius leaned closer to her, “I never said it wasn’t cute as hell.”

 

She coughed and quickly changed the subject, “So, what was your nightmare about?”

 

He sighed, “Just…” He looked away, searching for words.

 

She touched his arm, “Your family?”

 

He looked down at her, “Uh… yeah. How did you know?”

 

She shrugged, “I pay attention.”

 

“To me?” He asked, his eyes surprisingly hopeful.

 

She tilted her head and chuckled, “Of course, silly. We’re friends.”

 

He looked back into the fire, “Right… friends.”

 

Faith wished she could cheer him up, but she wasn’t sure how. So, she reverted to what she did with Remus; rested her head against his shoulder, put her hand on his arm, and said, “It’ll be alright, Sirius. You’ll see. All you need is…”

 

“Faith?” He finished softly, almost reverently.

 

She looked up at him, and their eyes met. Faith swallowed hard and pulled her hand from his arm, “Well… in the metaphoric sense… yes.”

 

Slowly, hesitantly, he put his hand on her cheek, “What about in the physical… human sense? What if I need that too?”

 

She blinked, then backed away with an uncomfortable laugh, “Stop joking around, Sirius. It’s not funny.”

 

He took hold of her hand, “I’m _not_ joking. I mean it.”

 

She stood up quickly and put distance between them, feeling a strong urge to run away, “What do you… you _mean_ it? You _can’t_ mean it.”

 

He frowned and tried to close the distance, but she kept backing further away, “What do you mean that I can’t… what the hell is that? What are you _talking_ about?”

 

“I’m talking about how up until a few months ago, you _hated_ me. You even _specifically_ said you did! We hated _each other_! I don’t care what anyone says, you don’t just go from that to… to whatever it is you’re proposing! We can’t… I can’t… I’m going to bed!”

 

He took hold of her hand, holding her back, “Faith… I never.” She turned back to him hesitantly, and he was looking at her earnestly. Sirius continued, “I never _actually_ hated you. You know that… right? I was just being…”

 

“Awful?” She said, anger seeping into her voice. “You were my _friend_ Sirius. What could I have possibly done to deserve that sort of treatment?” She looked away, “You remember that time… our first flying lesson?”

 

He gave her a confused look, “Yeah… of course.” Sirius wasn’t sure where she was going with this.

 

Faith took a deep breath, “I was afraid to fly… and I lost control of my broom. I thought I was going to fall but… you saved me. Snatched me up just in time, and helped me get back to the ground.” She looked up at him then.

 

He smiled at her softly, nodding his head, “I couldn’t let you fall, now could I?” He took a step toward her.

 

She shook her head, “And after it happened, I really thought the world of you. I thought you must be the bravest, most heroic person in the world. I would’ve followed you to the ends of the earth.” She frowned up at him, and his heart dropped; realizing where she was going with this. “So, imagine feeling that way about someone… then, without warning, he starts harassing you every chance he gets. Throws things at you… insults you...” She shook her head, “You can’t just… you can’t just be nice to me for a short while and expect to erase that.” Faith looked up at him, “How can you possibly talk to me about… whatever it is you’re trying to tell me, without fixing what’s broken first? Without even really trying?”

 

Sirius just stood there silently for a moment. Then he spoke, so softly that she could barely understand him. “Alright then… I can do that.”

 

Faith looked at him, “Do what?”

 

He gave her a crooked smile, “Fix it.”

 

She gave him an incredulous look, “And how do you propose to do that?”

 

He walked closer to her, and endearing look on his face, “I don’t know yet, but I will.” He put his hands on her shoulders, “And when I do, we can talk about this again. Alright?”

 

She blinked up at him, then gave him a small smile, “Alright… I can agree to that.” Then Faith gently pulled away from him and started back toward her room, “Till then… goodnight Sirius.”

 

He smiled at her, “Goodnight Faith.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [My Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/bofurandori)


	4. Differences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Always keep an open mind and a compassionate heart.   
> \- Phil Jackson

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters. I am not making any money off of this.

“What… what exactly…” Remus’ eyes bulged as he observed his homework, which was completely shredded. Then he turned red and screamed, “DAMN IT PADFOOT!”

 

Faith blinked, looking at the rubbish that was once Remus’ homework with interest. Sirius slid up next to Faith and smiled, “Can I help you Moony?”

 

Remus pointed to his destroyed homework, “How do you explain _this_?!?”

 

Sirius shrugged and grinned, “Looks like a dog ate your homework, mate.”

 

Remus was clearly furious, but Faith couldn’t help herself; She began to giggle, with a characteristic snort. Remus glared at her, “This isn’t funny, Fay!”

 

“Yes, it is!” She snickered. “I’m sorry, Remy, but it really is!”

 

Sirius practically glowed as he smiled at Faith.

 

Remus glowered at her, “Whose side are you on?”

 

She rolled her eyes, “Yours, of course! As always.” She pulled out her wand and restored his homework.

 

Sirius pouted, “Hey!”

 

She gave him a look, “If you didn’t want me to ruin the joke you shouldn’t have done it to my cousin.”

 

Sirius went wide eyed, then leaned in with a mischievous smile, “So if I did it to… say… Peter…?”

 

She smiled back, then shrugged coyly, “I wouldn’t stop you.”

 

He hopped happily then quickly kissed her on the cheek before he ran off; which caused Faith to blush and Remus to scream after him.

 

“Remy, are you sure you’re alright?” Faith asked with concern, he’d been limping ever since his transformation a few days before.

 

He smiled warmly at her, “I’m fine, Fay. This transformation was just a difficult one, I’ve told you that. Now stop fussing.”

 

She frowned, “I will _not_ stop fussing! It’s my job to fuss.”

 

He laughed and smiled at her, “Very well, just make sure you get your homework done.”

 

She sniffed, “As if I wouldn’t! I can multi-task! Now, drink your chamomile; you look exhausted.” When he picked up his cup and took a sip, she finally took out her muggle studies homework.

 

He gave her a narrow look, “You DO realize that taking that class is cheating.”

 

She shrugged and smiled, “So? They didn’t say I _can’t_ take it. Not to mention, it’s _hilarious_ to hear what the teacher thinks some things are. Did you know, she seems to think that bangle bracelets are used to ward off evil spirits?”

 

He went wide eyed, “You’re _kidding_?!?”

 

She shook her head, “No, I’m not. Granted, it’s not _completely_ off. There are certain cultures where bangles are involved in ceremonies similar to baby showers, to help ward off evil spirits from the mother-to-be and baby. But I informed her that that wasn’t their general use.”

 

He shook his head, “It’s hard to believe that some societies are so backward.”

 

Faith rolled her eyes, “That’s just nonsense, Remus. One must always keep an open mind and heart when learning about another culture and its beliefs. After all, there are many who might think any one of our societal norms are ridiculous. The moment we decide that someone is backward, simply because they’re different, is the moment our hearts die a little bit.”

 

He blinked at her, “That’s… that’s very wise, Faith.”

 

She smiled, “I have my moments.”

 

“So Snivellous… you _really_ want to know where we sneak off to? Well…” Sirius sneered, leaning toward Snape menacingly.

 

Snape held his gaze, sticking his chin in the air defiantly.

 

“Sirius…” He heard a soft, pained voice say.

 

Sirius stopped what he was doing and turned to see Faith by his side, looking hurt with her book clutched to her chest like a shield. It was as if he’d been in a daze and had just gotten hit with a bucket of ice water; Sirius stepped away from Snape immediately and looked away, not wanting her to see the guilt in his eyes. What had he been doing?!? Was he insane? “Faith… I was… I was just about to…”

 

“Yes, you were about to tell me something.” Severus hissed, “What was it?”

 

Faith slowly looked at Severus, and the look in her eyes stopped him cold. But then she smiled softly at him, almost sadly, “Sorry to trouble you, Severus. If you don’t mind, I need to have a word with Sirius.” He was about to say something and she held up her hand, “Please, Severus. Just this once, let it go.”

 

He stared at her suspiciously for a long moment, then he nodded, “Very well…” He glared at Sirius, “But this isn’t over, _Black_!”

 

Sirius shook his head, then glared, “Oh, it’s over _Snape_.”

 

Severus looked over at Faith one more time, and she smiled at him with a soft, “Goodnight, Severus.”

 

When he was out of ear range, Sirius turned to her and growled, “Why are you being so nice to him? Don’t you remember what he called you?”

 

She raised an eyebrow, “I remember.”

 

“And you don’t _care_?!?” He threw his hands up.

 

She shrugged, “He’s not the first, and he won’t be the last. I can’t control what happens to me, Sirius, I can only control how I react to it. And from where I’m standing, I have _nothing_ to gain from treating Severus unkindly.”

 

He frowned, “What the _hell_ do you mean nothing…”

 

“I _mean_ that why the _fuck_ would he want to _not_ join the Death Eaters if every single person that opposes them treats him like shit? Why? It makes _no_ sense, especially if he’s already of a disposition to agree with them. At that point, all they have to do is treat him with the barest _shred_ of human decency and he’s going to be putty in their hands.” Sirius blinked at her. Faith very rarely used foul language, which spoke of how gravely she took this matter. She shook her head, “Besides, it’s not my place to judge him; I don’t know what sort of battles he’s fighting, and neither do you. It’s a cruel world, Sirius, and I _refuse_ to add to it. If my kindness towards someone makes any sort of dent in their unhappiness, then I am more than willing to lend it.”

 

Finally, Faith met his eyes and Sirius’ blood turned cold, “And by the way… I don’t know what I walked in on just then, Sirius, but I can venture a guess. And I would advise you to think long and hard about what could have happened, and the consequences.” She narrowed her eyes at him, “You’ve been placed in a position of trust, Sirius. Don’t abuse it.” With that, she turned and began to walk away.

 

“I’m sorry…” He called after her, not sure what else to say.

 

She turned and looked at him with shiny eyes, “Don’t be _sorry_ …” She swallowed hard, then composed herself again. “Just be the true and loyal person I know you can be. The person we _need_ you to be.” Faith tilted her head as she looked at him, “Despite everything, I believe in you Sirius Black. Don’t let your anger get the better of you and muck everything up.”

 

“Will you help me?” He asked quietly.

 

Faith shrugged, “I can’t fight your demons for you, Sirius. Only you can.” She looked down at her book, “Now, if you’ll excuse me… I think I need to get some fresh air.”

 

Sirius stepped forward, “What was it that you needed, by the way? You were looking for me, right?”

 

She didn’t turn around as she said, “It doesn’t matter. Goodnight, Sirius. Try not to get into too much trouble on your way to bed.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [My Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/bofurandori)


	5. The Last Ball

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I love you. I hate you. I like you. I hate you. I love you. I think you’re stupid. I think you’re a loser. I think you’re wonderful. I want to be with you. I don’t want to be with you. I would never date you. I hate you. I love you…..I think the madness started the moment we met and you shook my hand. Did you have a disease or something?”   
> ― Shannon L. Alder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters. I am not making any money off of this.

_ 7th year  _

 

“Faith… can I ask you a _favor_?” Blythe Jones batted her eyes at Faith as she pushed down her book.

 

Faith narrowed her eyes. For one thing, she did _not_ appreciate others getting between her and her reading. For another, Blythe had _never_ spoken to her in all their 7 years of going to school together, so asking for a favor was presumptuous at best. But, she was a reasonable person and willing to hear her out, “You can certainly _ask…_ hands off the first edition, please. Headmaster Dumbledore is lending this to me.”

 

Blythe drew her hand away quickly, “Right… _why_ is he lending this to you, exactly?”

 

She shrugged, “I’ve read nearly every book in the library that isn’t in the restricted section, and I suppose he doesn’t want me to get bored.”

 

Blythe shook her head, “You’re so _weird_.”

 

Faith raised an eyebrow, “Lovely way to drum up good will for a _favor._ ”

 

Blythe cleared her throat and looked at her apologetically, “Sorry… it’s just that I was wondering if… maybe… just this once… you wouldn’t mind finding a date to the ball that _wasn’t_ Remus.”

 

Faith’s eyebrows shot up, “Pardon?”

 

Blythe blushed, “I was just… hoping… that I could ask him to the ball, without leaving you dateless if he accepted.”

 

Faith rolled her eyes, how _considerate_ of her. Before Faith could respond Sirius dropped down beside her, put an arm around her shoulders and said, “Excellent! That means you can go with _me_ and nobody will be dateless! Happy ending for all!” He grinned at her charmingly.

 

Faith blushed deeply and Blythe stammered, “Yes… I guess that would work…”

 

Faith snickered, of course Blythe hadn’t imagined that her next option for a date to the ball would be the most popular boy in Gryffindor. It would be only natural to Blythe that a weird bookworm like Faith would _have_ to go with her cousin, as it certainly couldn’t have anything to do with the fact that Remus and Faith both _preferred_ to go with one another to parties. It must really upset her, since Faith knew good and well that Blythe _also_ fancied Sirius; but Sirius had always scorned her advances, and this past year he hadn’t dated _anyone_ … which was strange, but it was none of Faith’s business (of course).

 

But then it hit her, Sirius had just _asked her out_. Wait… it _was_ him asking her out, right? Or was he just being nice because he was her friend? He was probably just being nice, Sirius couldn’t possibly… no, he couldn’t possibly… that wasn’t something that was going to happen. Oh no. It was just two friends going to a ball together, and that was it. With that settled in her mind, Faith cleared her throat and said, “So, there you go. Feel free to ask Remus, if you like.”

 

Blythe was looking a bit ill, but nodded and presumably went to find Remus. Poor Remus, Faith knew that he always appreciated the excuse of having her as a pre-scheduled date to avoid situations like this. But he was a big boy, he would figure it out.

 

With that, Faith turned to Sirius and said, “You didn’t need to do that.”

 

He gave her a confused look, “Do what?”

 

She rolled her eyes, “Step in like that. Act like you wanted to go to the ball with me.”

 

He tilted his head, “Who says I was acting?”

 

She blinked, “Well… of _course_ you were… I mean…”

 

He gave her a seductive smirk and proceeded to lean close to her, “There’s nobody I’d rather go with. I’ve told you… you’re my favorite girl.”

 

She swallowed hard, “But I thought…”

 

He shook his head, “I wouldn’t lie about something like that. In fact, I try not to lie to you about anything. Especially not since…”

 

She gave a tiny smile, “Since you told me you would fix things?”

 

He smiled and nodded, “Exactly.”

 

She looked at her hands, “But… I’m not exactly the kind of girl that people expect you to dance with.”

 

He got close enough that his nose touched her hair, “Fuck ‘em. I don’t give a shit about what they think.” He touched her shoulder, “I care what _you_ think…” Sirius gently turned her head so she had to look him in the eyes, “So, what do you think? Would you mind going with me to the ball, instead of Remus?”

 

“I…” She bit her lip, “I guess it would be an interesting change.”

 

He smirked, “That’s a strange way to say ‘time of your life’, but I’ll take it.”

 

She rolled her eyes and laughed, “Narcissist.”

 

He waggled his eyebrows, “You know you like it.”

 

She pushed his shoulder and they both laughed together.

 

Lily smiled over Faith’s shoulder as she stared at a simple teal silk gown, “You would look beautiful in that.”

 

Faith bit her lip, “It’s not very…”

 

“If you say it’s not you, I’m going to slap you. I know you’re all about peasant blouses and skirts, flats, and beaded jewelry; but that doesn’t mean a little silk isn’t in order here and there.” Lily grinned at her, “Besides, it’s your first date with Sirius…”

 

Faith glared at her, “It’s not a _date_. We’re just going to the ball together. There’s a difference.” She crossed her arms, “Who says I’d go on a date with Sirius, anyway? He’s arrogant…”

 

“Oh yeah.”

 

“Obnoxious…”

 

“He certainly can be.”

 

“Hot-tempered…”

 

“Absolutely!”

 

She bit her lip, “Ridiculously charming…”

 

Lily smirked, “True.”

 

“Handsome…”

 

“I suppose.”

 

She looked at her fingers, “Funny… clever… brave… a great friend… loyal to a fault…”

 

Lily rested her chin on Faith’s shoulder, “Oh yes, no interest _whatsoever_.”

 

Faith blushed, “Shut up, Lily.” She looked back at the dress, “I guess it wouldn’t hurt to have _one_ silk dress.”

 

Lily grinned.

 

Faith timidly came down the stairs with Lily toward where Sirius and James were waiting for them. Both the boys stared at their dates, but Faith only noticed the look in Sirius’ eyes. She’d never seen _that_ look before, and it made her feel… strange.

 

But, of course, the spell was broken when her damn platform heels (which Lily had insisted she wear) caught on her long skirt and she went tumbling off the last few stairs… and right into Sirius’ arms. They stared into one another’s eyes for a moment, and Faith turned a tomato red, before she bit her lip and shyly said, “Lily made me wear heels…”

 

He laughed and grinned at her, then leaned in and whispered in her ear, “I’m not complaining.” Then he released her and bowed with his hand extended, “My lady… shall we?”

 

She chuckled, gave an awkward curtsey, then placed her hand in his, “We shall.”

 

Sirius pulled her arm through his and escorted her into the ball, and onto the dance floor.

 

Later that evening Faith led Sirius by the hand, both laughing joyously, to the balcony and pointed to the stars. After a moment, a bright comet streaked across the sky. He laughed, “How did you do that?”

 

She shrugged, “It’s just science. I knew what time the comet was going to show up, and I figured…” Suddenly shy, she looked away from him, “I thought you’d like to see it too.”

 

He looked down at her, “You’re amazing…”

 

She looked up at him, shaking her head, “I’m not…”

 

He cupped her cheek, “You are… so hush…” He slowly began to lean in close and her pulse began to race. Was he doing what she thought he was doing? Was she going to let him if he was? It seemed so, because she started to close her eyes and lean toward him.

 

“Faith!” Remus’ voice broke in, and Faith jumped back as if she’d been burned. Sirius looked murderous as he turned to where Remus was standing. Remus stopped in his tracks and began to look between them for a moment, then he turned back at the sound of a female voice and clearly decided he’d address the situation later, “Faith, you promised me a dance.” He tilted his head meaningfully behind him.

 

That’s when Blythe came toward them, all smiles, “Remus, sweetheart! So, this is where you’ve been hiding.” She giggled, “Come on, let’s get back to the party.”

 

Faith smiled and said, “I’m sorry, but I need to steal him for a bit. He owes me at _least_ one dance.” With that she grabbed Remus’ arm and quickly led him back to the dance floor without looking back.

 

Blythe turned to Sirius and pouted, “Oh poo… it seems my partner’s been stolen. You wouldn’t want to…?”

 

Sirius coughed dramatically and touched his throat, “I’m sorry, I need to get something to drink…” He coughed again and rushed past her.

 

Later, Faith was sitting by herself in a darkened corner and James came to sit down next to her, smiling kindly, “How are you doing, cutie?”

 

She shook her head, “What’s _wrong_ with me?”

 

James, of course, didn’t miss a beat. “The same thing that’s been wrong with you for 7 years, I imagine. Good old Padfoot always seems to cause you problems, huh?”

 

She frowned, “Yes… he does… he’s so… _confusing_. I’m almost never confused about _anything_ , but when it comes to him I’m absolutely _baffled_.”

 

“Yeah… I can see that.” He put an arm around her shoulder and pulled her to him, and she rested her head on his shoulder. “So, what did he do this time?”

 

“I… I’m not sure.” She nuzzled her face into his shoulder, “I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to think.”

 

He looked down at her for a moment, processing the small bit of information she was offering, then smiled, “I wouldn’t worry about it. I have a feeling that everything will work out just fine.”

 

She smiled at him, “Really?”

 

He nodded stoically then kissed the top of her head, “Absolutely.”

 

Her smile broadened, “Thank you, James.” She tilted her head, “I’m glad I have you to talk to. I can’t really talk to…”

 

“Remus like this?” He shook his head, “Oh no, not a chance. He’d hex the shit out of Sirius if he knew that he’d been so…” He coughed, “ _Confusing_.”

 

She nodded, “And I can’t really tell Lily…”

 

James nodded, “No, that would require a _lot_ more explaining than you seem ready for.”

 

Faith nodded, “Yeah, she’s great but… I can’t really handle that.”

 

“Understood.”

 

She looked up at him, “You won’t tell Sirius about what we talked about?”

 

James feigned offense, “Of _course_ not!” He held up his other hand, “Your secrets are safe with me.”

 

She smiled at him again, “Thanks, you’re the best.”

 

He waved her off, “Oh, it’s nothing.” He looked down at her mischievously, “But, just in case, remember that the next time Lily’s mad at me… alright?”

 

Faith laughed, “Consider it done!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, I couldn't resist just a tiny bit of cliché in this.
> 
> [My Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/bofurandori)


	6. Make me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Sometimes I think the difference between what we want and what we're afraid of is about the width of an eyelash.”   
> ― Jay McInerney

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters. I am not making any money off of this.

_ January 3rd : 7th year _

 

“Happy birthday, darling!” Faith’s mother cooed as she placed the simple cake, blazing with 18 candles, in front of her.

 

Faith smiled at everyone, then closed her eyes and blew out her candles.

 

When she opened her eyes, Sirius was leaning against the table, smirking, “Alright, wish granted, I’m all yours.” He opened his arms, as if expecting her to embrace him.

 

Faith rolled her eyes, “As if I’d waste a wish on _that_!” But then she giggled and shook her head.

 

Sirius pouted, then he recovered and smirked mischievously, “Right… why wish for what you already have.” He winked at her.

 

Faith sighed, “You’re such a flirt, Sirius. Really, must you do this in front of my Dad? He might think you’re in earnest.”

 

“Must you do this at all, Sirius?” Faith’s father asked, narrowing his eyes.

 

“Yes, I believe we’ve discussed this…” Remus said meaningfully.

 

Sirius chuckled awkwardly, scratching the back of his head, but he sat back down next to James.

 

Faith tried not to let on that there were now butterflies causing havoc in her stomach, and she was suddenly feeling a bit miserable. Why did Sirius have to be this way with her? Couldn’t they just be friends without him flirting with her? Without him making her feel so special? Without making her (almost) think that he was interested in her? Lately, nearly every time she was around Sirius those damn butterflies started up; before now she’d thought they were some romantic myth, but sure enough she’d become infested with them. But, she wasn’t really surprised. It was natural, really. Sirius was… Sirius, and she was a heterosexual teenage girl with raging hormones and such; so _of course_ her body reacted when a handsome, charming boy gave her attention. But it didn’t _mean_ anything. Of course not. It was simply a natural reaction that was best left ignored; lest she ruin one of her dearest friendships on some silly whim about wanting to hold his hand, to kiss him, embrace him, feel his warmth and be engulfed in his scent… that would be foolishness, and Faith was _not_ a fool!

 

“Come on, Faith! Cut the cake!” James said encouragingly.

 

“Just make sure I get one of the flowers!” Lily said, smiling.

 

Faith shook herself out of her mood and smiled at her friends, “A flower for Lily, absolutely.” But she couldn’t help a quick glance at Sirius, who was telling a joke to Remus.

 

Faith looked down at the book Professor McGonagall had just handed her, gently caressing its cover, and her curiosity could be silenced no longer, “Professor, why do you and Headmaster Dumbledore keep lending me these books?”

 

Professor McGonagall raised an eyebrow.

 

Faith bit her lip, “Not that I’m not _incredibly_ grateful, because I am! They’re all such fascinating subjects, and I truly enjoy them. It’s just that… I don’t understand why you’re taking such an interest in me. Or why you’d trust me with such rare books.”

 

McGonagall chuckled, “Did it ever occur to you that we take such an interest in you, because you’ve taken such an interest in learning? You’ve literally read more books than our current librarian, and from what I’ve seen you can remember _most_ of what you’ve read. That’s _quite_ extraordinary, in case you hadn’t noticed. As for us trusting you with such rare books, you’ve always taken great care with every book you’ve used. In fact, there’ve been one or two that came back in _better_ condition!”

 

Faith shrugged, “Restoring books is a hobby of mine… the bookseller in our town is teaching me.”

 

McGonagall shook her head, “And there you go.” She smiled at her student, “There is a need for every sort of witch, Faith. Perhaps you don’t have the greatest spellcasting abilities in your class, which I assume is the source of your confusion, but you’re brilliant in your own way. And it is our job and our joy to encourage that.”

 

Faith smiled, “Thank you, Professor.”

 

McGonagall smiled back, “My pleasure, Miss Howell.”

 

“Faith, do you even pay attention in DADA? Really. This is actually a question.” Sirius asked, clearly frustrated.

 

Faith bit her lip, “Of course I pay attention.”

 

He threw up his hands, “Then I don’t understand why this is so hard for you!”

 

“Because I’m no good at it, that’s why!” Faith screamed back, her patience at an end. “I’m a horrible witch, I’ve always been a horrible witch and that’s not going to change. If a dark wizard attacks me then I’m probably going to die immediately; and there’s an exceptional chance that one _will_ attack me since I’m a mudblood. So, yeah, I’m probably going to die at a young age. But at least I’ll die while I’m young and relatively decent looking, and all that.”

 

Sirius had crossed his arms, and raised an eyebrow, “First of all, you’re being overdramatic…”

 

“ _I’m_ being overdramatic? You threw a fit yesterday because James said the color of Lily’s dress didn’t suit you! I had to tell you that you were pretty 5 times, and throw crisps at you, before you’d stop sulking in the corner!”

 

Sirius sniffed, “I look ravishing in periwinkle!”

 

Faith rolled her eyes, “Whatever… did you have another point?”

 

“Right… for another thing, why the _hell_ would that word come out of your mouth? I was genuinely under the impression that that word translated into ‘pretty unicorn’ in your mind.” His look became dark, “Did Snivellous call you that again?”

 

Faith groaned, “No! He only ever said it that one time! Believe it or not, I get called that _often_! By many, _many_ people!”

 

Sirius went wide eyed, “And you haven’t _said_ anything?”

 

“Why? So you can hex them? What’s _that_ going to solve? It’ll only make them think that I can’t fight my own battles!”

 

“So your solution is to do _nothing_?”

 

“Yes! It is! I can’t change the way they feel about me, and their opinion doesn’t _matter_ to me! I’m not like you, I don’t need to join every fight I’m invited to.”

 

Sirius stepped closer to her, “And what is _that_ supposed to mean?”

 

Faith didn’t back down, “It means that you’re a stubborn, hot-headed, foolhardy delinquent!”

 

“Why don’t you just _shut up_ for once?” Sirius snarled, right in her face.

 

“Why don’t you _make me_?” Faith hissed, glaring at him.

 

Sirius’ eyes went to her lips and for a moment it was as if time stopped, and the air hummed with possibility.

 

“The fuck are you doing?!?” Remus shouted, and pushed Sirius away from Faith. “Get away from her!” Remus immediately placed himself between them and moved into a protective stance in front of Faith.

 

Sirius growled at Remus, then looked away, “I wasn’t doing anything! We were… we were…”

 

“We were just having an argument, Remus. That’s it. You don’t have to act as if he was going to attack me.” She looked over at Sirius, “He… he wouldn’t hurt me.”

 

Sirius looked up at her, swallowed, then shook his head, “No… I would _never_ hurt you, Faith.”

 

Remus shook his head, “Be that as it may, I think you two have been spending a little _too much_ time together lately. You’re clearly… getting on each other’s nerves. Come on, I’ll help you study for your N.E.W.T.s Fay. Sirius can study with James from now on.”

 

“You’re not the boss of me, Moony! Or her!” Sirius said, frowning. “We can study with whoever we like, can’t we Faith?”

 

Faith bit her lip, then quietly said, “I… I’d still like to study with Sirius from time to time, Remus. He’s been a big help. But I think I’d like to study DADA with you for the moment...”

 

Remus snorted, “Fine, whatever. Let’s just get you out of here. You clearly need some tea and a _proper_ study companion.”

 

Faith chanced one last look at Sirius, and he was staring at her, clearly amazed. She gave him a small smile, then followed Remus to the kitchens.

 

“So, what were you arguing about anyway?” Remus asked as he handed her the plate of cakes.

 

She shrugged, “We were just frustrated, that’s all. I’m not improving on those last few spells.”

 

Remus nodded, “I’m sure we’ll work it out.” He tilted his head, “Was that _all_?”

 

She shook her head, “No… He was angry that I called myself a… a mudblood.”

 

Remus turned red, “You did _what_?!?”

 

Faith looked away and nodded, “I was angry… and… and then I insulted him.”

 

Remus didn’t seem to believe her, “ _You_ insulted _him_?”

 

She nodded, “I did! I really did! I called him a… a stubborn, hot-headed, foolhardy delinquent.”

 

Remus went wide eyed, “Really?”

 

She nodded again, a guilty look on her face.

 

Remus sighed, “While that’s not _untrue_ , it wasn’t very _nice_. Which isn’t like you, not even when you’re angry. Whatever possessed you to do it?”

 

She put her face in her hands, “I don’t know! He wanted to know why I didn’t tell anyone that I’ve been getting called mudblood, and why I didn’t fight them, and the next thing I know I’m lashing out at him.”

 

Remus just stared at her for a long moment, then sighed and wrapped her in his arms. She snuggled into the familiar warmth and laid her head on his chest. “You really _should_ have told us, Fay. We love you, and you shouldn’t have to shoulder that burden alone.” He stroked her hair, “That’s not how friendship works. We’re supposed to help each other through difficult things.”

 

She nodded, “I know… I know, you’re right. But I can’t help it.”

 

“You don’t _try_ to help it. There’s a difference.” Remus said, not unkindly.

 

She chuckled and rested her forehead on his shoulder, “You’re right.”

 

“Of course I’m right.” He said, smiling. “Now, cheer up. We’ll study for that exam and I’m sure you’ll pass with flying colors, as always.”

 

She smiled up at him, “Thank you. You’re the best.”

 

“You’re not so bad yourself,” He said, kissing her forehead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [My Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/bofurandori)


	7. Tell her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “In the beginning, the price of giving great love is risking that it won't be returned. Until you understand, of course, that great love is always returned. With interest.”   
> ― Mike Dooley

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters. I am not making any money off of this.

Sirius’ POV

 

Sirius just stared at Faith for a moment, as they sat together on the couch in the Gryffindor common room for possibly the last time. “So… you’re going to be working for the Muggle Liaison office?”

 

She turned and smiled up at him. Oh, that smile could destroy him. It made him ache for things that were increasingly showing to be improbable, if not impossible. “Yes! Because I got such good N.E.W.T. scores and because I’m a muggle-born… and, well, it’s likely that Headmaster Dumbledore’s personal recommendation helped… I’m going to be working directly under the head of the department!” She looked up at him affectionately, “I couldn’t have done it without you, Sirius. Thank you so much for helping me…” She chuckled awkwardly, pushing some of her silky hair behind her ear, “And for putting up with me.”

 

Sirius smiled at her adoringly. There had never been anything to ‘put up’ with. Even at her worst, he’d still choose Faith’s company over anyone else’s. She drove him crazy, yes, but he _liked_ it. There was nobody he’d rather fight with, be happy with, go through hard times with, do _anything_ with (to be honest). And he would do _anything_ for her, anything at all. He would follow her across the universe if she’d let him. But, he couldn’t say that. Because, when it came to Faith, he was a bit of a coward. He cherished her friendship with all his heart, and he knew that he didn’t deserve her; so, he would stay silent about how madly in love with her he was. Unless, of course, he got even the slightest hint that she returned his feelings. Even a little bit. Then best intentions be damned, she’d have him for as long as she wanted (preferably until the stars went out). For now, though, he only said, “Any time, Faith. You know that.”

 

Faith gave him that glorious smile again, and his heart skipped a beat. “Lily wants to room with me until the wedding, did she tell you that?”

 

He shook his head, “No. But I guess that’ll help you two with the wedding planning, Maid of Honor.”

 

She smiled, “Yes, it will, Best Man.”

 

He reached up to move a strand of hair behind her ear, and sadly said, “I guess we won’t be seeing one another quite as often. Moving on with our lives, and all that.”

 

She bit her lip, “We’re both joining the Order of the Phoenix, Sirius. And we’re still friends, and friends with each other’s friends so… it’s not like we’re going to be strangers.”

 

“But we won’t be sharing all our meals together, or our days together, barely any of our evenings…” He was becoming increasingly distraught at the thought.

 

She put her hand on his hand, “It’ll…” Was he imagining that her eyes were welling up a bit? “It’ll be alright, Sirius.” Then, without warning, she jumped up and said, “I’m suddenly very tired, I’m going to bed. Goodnight, Sirius.”

 

“Goodnight, Faith…” He said, watching her leave with a heavy heart.

 

Sirius drank his beer sourly as he saw the handsome bar tender at James and Lily’s engagement party fall all over himself to impress Faith. His only comfort was that Faith didn’t seem particularly impressed with his efforts, and tried her best to focus on her discussion with Remus and Peter. James sat down next to him, “You look like someone just took a piss in that beer.”

 

“I think the beer _is_ piss, but that’s beside the point.” Sirius grumbled, taking another sip.

 

James turned his gaze to where Sirius was looking and sighed, “Sirius, just _tell her_.”

 

Sirius suddenly seemed very interested in his beer, “It’s not like I’ve been subtle about it!”

 

“Padfoot, this is Faith we’re talking about. She’s _never_ going to just _assume_ that you have feelings for her, just because you flirt with her. She’s seen you flirt with too many girls in the past.”

 

Sirius ran his fingers through his hair, “I know… I’m a fucking idiot. Why the hell was I so damn stupid? Picking on her and dating other girls… I must have been out of my mind!”

 

“You were smitten, and too young to realize that you were smitten. But now that you’re more enlightened on the subject, you need to admit how you’re feeling. You can’t just pretend that everything’s fine the way it is _forever_.”

 

“Yes, I can.” Sirius glared, taking a large swig of the beer. “Besides, she doesn’t want me…”

 

“And what makes you think that?” James asked, tilting his head.

 

Sirius rolled his eyes, “Because…”

 

“Listen, I don’t want to be rude but I am _not_ interested. Please help your other customers and let me get back to my discussion.” Faith suddenly said, with a tone that brooked no argument.

 

The bartender looked embarrassed, but said, “Oh… alright, ma’am. Sorry to bother you.” Then swiftly went to the other end of the bar.

 

Sirius went wide eyed and James smirked, “You’ve never seen her do that before?”

 

Sirius gave him a sideways glance, “What do you mean?”

 

James turned his drink in his hands, “She always does that when men flirt with her…” He looked Sirius straight in the eyes, “Well, except when _you_ flirt with her.”

 

Sirius shook his head, “That’s just because…”

 

“No, it’s not! Look, I’ve seen you two dance around each other since we were 11. You’re so fucking besotted with Faith that you can hardly stand yourself, so stop being a coward and tell the girl you love her.”

 

“I don’t deserve her…”

 

“No shit! But at least this way you’re not being an asshole about it. Tell her, so at least you’ll know where you stand and we can all go about our lives.”

 

“What if she rejects me?”

 

“What if she _doesn’t_! Besides, don’t you remember how many times Lily rejected _me_? And now look at us, we’re getting married.”

 

Sirius’ eyebrows raised, “You have a point…”

 

“Of course I do. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go dance with my fiancée. Who I love very much, and who returns my feelings; because I didn’t stand around moping about how she might reject me.” With that, James stood up and left to find Lily. Leaving Sirius to turn and look at Faith, considering his options.

 

That night, Sirius offered to walk Faith home. Lily was going to be spending the night at James’ house so Faith was by herself. On the way to her flat they talked about the wedding, Faith’s job, and other little things as they normally did. But, when they got to her door Sirius took her hand. She looked up at him in surprise, “Sirius, what is it?”

 

He looked down into her eyes, “Why did you reject that bartender tonight?”

 

She blinked, “Because I wasn’t interested in him.”

 

“What about all the other men you’ve been rejecting? You didn’t like any of them either?”

 

She bit her lip and shook her head, “No… no I didn’t.”

 

He took the barest step closer to her, “Well… what about me? Would you be interested in me?”

 

Faith turned red, “Sirius, I can’t deal with this right now. I’m…”

 

He put his hands on each of her cheeks and looked her straight in the eyes, “Faith, I _mean_ it. I’m not being playful, or friendly, or trying to compliment you. I… I would like to be more than friends, if you’ll have me. I’d like to be your guy.” There, he’d said it. Now he just had to…

 

Before he could finish his thought, Faith had grabbed the front of his jacket and pulled him down to her, gently touching his lips with her own. Sirius growled, needing no further encouragement, he crushed her to him and deepened the kiss. Oh, her lips were even sweeter than he’d imagined! He touched his tongue to her lips and she happily opened for him, letting him explore. Her hand found its way into his long hair and she tangled her fingers in it, holding him in place (as if he’d had any intention of moving).

 

He pressed her against the door for more leverage, and she groaned wantonly. It drove him insane. Sirius left her mouth to begin exploring her chin, her ears, her neck, her…

 

“Damn it, will you two please go _inside_ the flat to do that? Have you no _shame_?” One of Faith’s neighbors hissed at them.

 

Surprisingly, it was Faith who turned and with a Cheshire grin said, “Nope!” Then she turned back to Sirius with a look that nearly set him on fire and husked, “But it _is_ more comfortable in there.” Without even looking away from him she unlocked her door, “Let me show you.” Then she grabbed him by the jacket again and pulled him inside before slamming and locking the door.

 

Their lips met again for another heated kiss, and they crashed onto the couch in a tangle of limbs. When they came up for air he looked down and asked, “Is this okay? If I’m going too far, just tell me…”

 

She smiled at him, “You’re wonderful…” Then she gave him a smoldering look, “Now, if you’d please take off your clothes…”

 

He jumped up and removed his clothes quicker than he’d thought possible, whereas Faith stood and slowly slipped her grey sundress off her shoulders and onto the floor. For a moment, they both just stood there, staring appreciatively at the banquet they were about to receive. He smiled at her, “Still alright?”

 

She nodded enthusiastically, “Oh _yes_!”

 

He grinned and gathered her up in his arms, making her laugh, and carried her into her bedroom where he gently laid her on the soft bed. He laid on top of her and proceeded to snog her senseless, touching and kissing her everywhere he could reach as he disposed of the last of their clothing. Before they went any further he looked down at her and softly asked, “Will this be your first time?”

 

She bit her lip and nodded, “Yes…”

 

“You’ve never… not even with Frank?” He asked, a little surprised.

 

She shook her head, “No, we only ever kissed. And we barely did that…” She smirked, “Thanks to a few choice meddlers…”

 

He gave her a crooked smile, “What can I say? I was jealous.”

 

She smiled at him, “Yeah… I can see that now. What about you? Did you and any of those…?”

 

He shook his head firmly, “I’ve done more than kiss, but… never anything as intimate as this.” He gave her a soft, adoring look, “Are you really sure you want to do this? With me?”

 

She gave him a loving smile that melted his heart, “Oh yes, are you?”

 

He chuckled and leaned down for a kiss, breathing against her lips, “I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life.”

 

She smiled against his lips and, surprising him, turned them over and grinned down at him as he laughed happily, “Then I’d say we best get started.” Her hand began to roam downward, “Now… what are your thoughts on _this_ …?”

 

Later that night, after they were both satisfied, Sirius held Faith close as they snuggled sleepily. He kissed her on the forehead and whispered, “I love you, Faith. I love you with all of my heart.”

 

She nuzzled deeper into his chest, “I love you too, Sirius.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [My Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/bofurandori)


	8. Tea and whiskey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It’s not the one who climbs beneath your bedcovers who satisfies you. It is the one who climbs beneath your skin.”   
> ― Sawyer Belle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters. I am not making any money off of this.

Poe pulled on Faith’s hair and she sleepily stroked his feathers before cuddling further into the warmth surrounding her. That was odd… her sheets usually smelled less… masculine. But it was a good scent, and she was _very_ warm and comfortable. That was until the warmth shifted, and Faith stiffened. Opening one eye slightly she saw that last night’s activities _hadn’t_ been a more detailed version of her normal sexy dreams about Sirius.

 

Well… what the fuck was she going to do about _this_?

 

Should she do anything about this?

 

Things seemed to be going quite smoothly without any interference from her.

 

But she’d had reasons for not doing anything about her feelings for Sirius! She just… couldn’t remember them right now.

 

_Merlin,_ he was sexy. All messy hair, five o’clock shadow and… _damn,_ just _all of him_. All of him was sexy, every single bit; and ridiculously endearing. Right now, her heart felt like it would burst just from seeing his relaxed, sleepy face and his soft breathing.

 

“I swear, if you even _think_ about making a run for it I’m going to turn your hair vomit green again.” Sirius said sleepily, without opening his eyes.

 

Faith smiled and snuggled closer to him, “I don’t know… I sort of liked it. Remus was the one who changed it back.”

 

He nuzzled into her hair, and she could feel his smile, “Of course he did.” He kissed the top of her head, “So… how are you feeling?”

 

“Well… aside from the crippling anxiety I’d say I’m doing pretty good.”

 

He rolled them over so that he was on top of her and looked down into her eyes, “And what _exactly_ are you anxious about?” He put his hand in her hair, “That I’m going to hurt you? Do you _really_ think I would _ever_ hurt you if I had _any_ power to prevent it?”

 

She bit her lip, “Well…” She peered into his beautiful grey eyes and saw how raw and vulnerable he was, something she had never seen from him before. Faith shook her head and whispered, “No… no, it’s not that really. It’s just that I never really thought you saw me as anything other than Remus’ sweet little cousin. Sure, we were friends but… I never thought that I was that important to you…”

 

“Yeah, I’m going to stop you _right there_.” His face was stern, “You have _always_ been _incredibly_ important to me, Faith. From the moment you showed up at the door of our compartment, with your braids and shy smiles…” He smiled wistfully, then chuckled, “Asking if I was a purebred.”

 

She blushed and chuckled, “I was so delighted at your reaction to that.” She smiled adoringly at him, “It’s funny, but aside from the years you spent tormenting me you’re the only person that I feel truly… myself, around.” She looked away, “Not that I’m not comfortable around Remus, or Lily, or…”

 

He kissed her gently, “I feel the same way.” Sirius pressed his forehead against hers. “And I’m sorry that I tormented you. It’s just you were so…”

 

She gave him a curious look.

 

He sighed, “You were just so smart… and brave… and good… and sweet… and _absolutely infuriating_ that I didn’t know what to do with myself. I know I should have handled things better, but I didn’t and… for that, I’m sorry.” He gave her a hopeful look, “You’ve forgiven me, right?”

 

She gave him an incredulous look, “Sirius…” She was tempted to go on one of her usual diatribes about how foolish that question was. But since she was currently naked, in bed, with the man of her dreams she decided to let it slide… just this once. “Yes, of course I forgive you. I forgave you a long time ago.”

 

His eyebrows shot up, “ _How_ long ago?”

 

She shrugged, “When you gave me the last of your favorite pie… about 2 weeks after you’d asked for forgiveness.”

 

His eyes bulged, “You’re _kidding_ me!”

 

She nodded, “I’m not the one who holds grudges, Sirius, _you are_. I certainly don’t hold them against _friends._ ” She narrowed her eyes, “Not to say I didn’t think you were positively _vexing_!”

 

He rolled over, laughing sardonically, and ran his fingers through his hair, “I’m an idiot.” He looked at her adoringly, “And I underestimated you… which makes me a double idiot.”

 

She sat up and smiled down at him fondly, “Biggest idiot ever.”

 

Sirius reached up and cupped her cheek, “But I’m _your_ idiot…” His look turned vulnerable again, “Right?”

 

Faith turned slightly and kissed his palm, before turning back to him, “Yes, you are.” She laid down close to him and gazed into his eyes, “As long as you want me.”

 

He smirked, tangled his fingers in her hair and leaned in close, “If we’re going by how long I’ll want you… then you’re going to be stuck with me forever.”

 

She sighed and touched her nose to his, “Forever is a very long time, Sirius.”

 

He shook his head, “It’s only an instant, and not nearly long enough with you.”

 

She rolled her eyes, “Don’t be trite.”

 

He nipped her nose, “ _Fine_ , if you’re going to be like _that_. How about this. You’re the keeper of my heart. You can do as you like with it: crush it, or cosset the damn thing it’s still going to be yours. I don’t want it back, and unless you tell me otherwise I plan to follow you around until the day I die. And if there’s such a thing as ghosts I’m sure as fuck going to haunt you. Is that better?”

 

She was wide eyed and gaping for a moment, then she closed her mouth and swallowed before whispering, “Yes… yes, I think that’ll do nicely.”

 

He nodded firmly, “Good, that’s something at least.” Then he jumped forward, kissed her firmly, and rolled on top of her again.

 

Faith moaned happily and wrapped a leg around one of Sirius’, arching up against him to let him know that she was _very_ pleased with this turn of events. In turn, he growled possessively and nipped at her jawline.

 

“Faith, are you alright? I heard moan… OH MY GOD!” Lily’s voice broke in. “Remus, you don’t…”

 

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING TO MY COUSIN!?!?!?!” Remus bellowed.

 

Sirius turned and said, “Well… Moony… I’d think it would be rather obvious…”

 

Remus pulled Sirius from Faith and onto his feet. When he caught sight of Sirius’ ardor he knocked him on his ass.

 

“REMUS JOHN LUPIN WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?!?!” Faith shouted, wrapping a sheet around her before taking Remus by the ear and pulling him down.

 

“Ow! Let go, I’m trying to protect you!” Remus shouted.

 

“From what?” She hissed.

 

“From him _using you_!” She let him go and he stood up, glaring at her. “You’re precious, Faith. You’re my sweet, wonderful cousin; the most important person in my life and he has _no right_ to touch you!”

 

“I decide who touches me! I do! Not _you_! You mean the world to me, but my life is my own; and whom I let into my bed is _none of your business_!” Faith said determinedly, before kneeling to help Sirius. She caressed his forehead and cooed, “Are you alright?”

 

He smiled dazedly at her, “You shouted at Remus… for _me_. I’m _excellent_!”

 

She smiled affectionately, “Well… hopefully it won’t become a habit.” She turned and looked at Remus meaningfully.

 

Remus ran his fingers through his hair, “Just… have him put some trousers on. I’ll… I need some tea… and whiskey.” With that he turned and walked toward the kitchen.

 

Lily seemed amused by the whole spectacle, “Well, that certainly made the day more interesting.”

 

Faith glared at her, “Why the hell is he even _here_?”

 

Lily shrugged, “He said he wanted your help picking a tux for the wedding.”

 

Faith gave a long-suffering sigh, “Of course he did.”

 

Lily smiled, “Don’t worry about it. We all knew this was going to happen sooner or later, even him.”

 

Faith glared, “What do you mean _you all knew this was going to happen_?!?”

 

Lily rolled her eyes, “Oh please, you two have been looking at each other like a starving person looks at a feast for _years._ If you two didn’t shag soon I was planning on locking you two in a broom closet until you did.”

 

“That’s a very creepy idea, Lily.”

 

“Good thing you two worked it out on your own then, huh?” Lily said smugly. “Alright then, I’ll let you two get dressed. I’d better go make sure Remus isn’t drinking all the whiskey in the house, anyway.”

 

When she’d left the room, and closed the door, Faith helped Sirius up. He wrapped her in his arms and grinned down at her, “I love you _so much_. Have I mentioned that yet?”

 

She smirked, “Not in the last five minutes.”

 

“Well, I do. I fucking worship you, you _goddess_.” He began to kiss her neck.

 

“None of that. We _really_ need to go talk with Lily and Remus, before Remus gets too far in his cups and comes back with a cleaver.”

 

Sirius gave a long-suffering sigh, “ _Fine_! But afterwards, you’re moving in with me.”

 

Faith raised an eyebrow, “ _Excuse me_? Exactly when did we decide that? Because I _know_ you didn’t just try to decide for me.”

 

He went onto one knee and put a hand to his heart, “Faith Howell, will you please move into my house where I can properly spoil you; and where we can keep Remus out when he’s unwelcome?”

 

“I don’t need you to spoil me, Sirius.”

 

“ _Tough_ , because it’s happening. So, what do you say? Move in with me?”

 

She smiled and chuckled, “Well, if you _insist_ …”

 

“I do!” He jumped up and twirled her in his arms, making her laugh.

 

She kissed him adoringly and said, “I love you, Sirius Black; I’m so happy right now.”

 

He smiled, “Me too, Apple.”

 

She gave him a curious look, “Did you just call me _apple_?”

 

He nodded, “You forgave me because I gave you some apple pie. So, from now on, you’re apple.”

 

“You are the most…” Faith started, but Sirius kissed her before she could finish.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please feel free to comment! I'm always happy to hear from you :)
> 
> [My Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/bofurandori)


	9. Love and marriage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”   
> ― Lao Tzu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters. I am not making any money off of this.

Sirius ran his fingers through his hair as he walked into his flat. It had been a long, discouraging day of trying to figure out Voldemort’s next move. The only bright spot was that James and Lily’s wedding was soon, where not only would 2 of his very best friends be getting married; but he would get a taste of what it would be like to stand in front of an alter across from Faith.

 

Speaking of which, David Bowie was playing and the smell of beef stew filled the air. He slowly walked toward the kitchen and found Faith softly singing as she stirred the pot, rolls baking in the oven. The sight banished his worries, and suddenly the world was beautiful again. Sirius wrapped his arms around her waist, making her jump, and said, “I don’t understand your taste in music.”

 

“And I don’t understand why you consider unintelligible screaming music. But, here we are.” Faith said matter-of-factly.

 

He nuzzled into her hair, “Impossible woman.” He began to gently stroke her collar bone.

 

She chuckled, turning in his arms and giving him a kiss, “So, how did it go?”

 

He rested his forehead against hers, “Not as well as we’d hoped. The information you found led us to the burial chamber, but whatever it was that they were looking for was long gone.”

 

“Damn!” Faith said, frowning. “I’ll see if I can at least find out _what_ they got. But so far, I’ve only found that something was _there_. How the _hell_ are they finding this information before _me_? It must be all that money those snooty, bigoted, narrow-minded _fiends_ are throwing around…”

 

“Hey, calm down…” He chuckled, “The fact that you _found_ the information at all is amazing. Like Dumbledore said, you’re invaluable to the cause.”

 

She gave him a flirtatious look, “Just to the cause?”

 

He growled, “Invaluable puts it _lightly_ where I’m concerned, my angel.” He nipped her ear, “My sweet apple.” She laughed and he nuzzled into the crook of her neck and held her just a bit closer, “My northern star… I don’t want to think about where I’d be without you.”

 

“Probably bothering James and Lily, eating all their food…” She said fondly, running her fingers through his hair.

 

“Maybe, but I wouldn’t be as happy as I am.” He said, straightening up and looking indignant.

 

She smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck, “Well, I can see that.”

 

He smiled back and leaned down for another kiss. Then he whispered, “Maybe we should discuss this in the bedroom.”

 

“Sirius Black, I had to call my mother and have her walk me through how to make her beef stew and rolls. Which involved a great deal of listening to gossip, and having her ask when we’re getting married; not to mention my father getting on the phone with her and _demanding_ we get married. Or for me to leave you immediately so we can forget the matter entirely.”

 

“Ah, good old Dad. Shotgun cleaning, dirty look giving, ‘stay away from my daughter’ spouting Dad. Lovely man.” Sirius said, rolling his eyes.

 

“It’s really a wonder that we got together at all, considering the amount of shit my family’s given you.” Faith said sadly.

 

He smiled at her, “My love, I would happily walk through hell to get to you.”

 

She smiled adoringly at him. “And I, you, Casanova. Anyway, the point was that your erection will just have to wait until _after_ supper.” Faith said, booping his nose and going back to cooking.

 

He perked up at that, “Are you saying that it will get attention _after_ supper?”

 

She gave him a seductive look, “Let’s just say that I have _many_ activities planned for tonight.” Faith grabbed a few bowls and ladled the stew into them before placing one in front of Sirius. “So eat up, you’ll need your strength.” She winked at him.

 

Sirius grinned goofily, then began to eat voraciously; before stopping with a surprised look and saying, “This is _really_ good!”

 

“No, Gus, the Prime Minister will _not_ expect you to bow to him. Or for you to bring him a new servant, a chest of jewels… or a tiger.” Faith said, pinching the bridge of her nose. “By the way, we need to have a talk about your attitude toward House Elves.”

 

“But… that book I read!” Gus Davies pouted.

 

“Was _very_ old. I appreciate you trying to expand your education, but I assure you… I’ve been working with Muggle diplomats, political scientists, as well as experts in manners. I’ve trained you on how to prepare, so _please_ use that as a format instead.”

 

“Fine! Damn muggles, why do they have to be so complicated…” Gus grumbled, walking away.

 

“Yes, because they’re _so_ very different from wizards. A different creature entirely, how on _earth_ could they have things in common with us?” Faith growled as she watched him leave.

 

The head of their department, Leonard Pearce, walked in, “Oh, my dear girl. I’m so sorry that you’re getting such opposition from the rest of the department.”

 

“The department… the ministry… the wizarding world in general…” Faith grumbled, pushing a lock of hair behind her ear. “So, what can I do for you boss?”

 

“I’ve been promoted. Millicent Bagnold has requested me as her junior assistant; and I’ve recommended you as the new head of the Muggle Liaison office.  A recommendation that she has accepted. Congratulations!” He said, smiling at her.

 

Faith blinked, “Wait… what?”

 

“You heard me.”

 

“But… Sir, I’m not even 19 yet. It was a drastic upset when I was named your secondary…”

 

“You were named my secondary because you were the most qualified. Most of the people working in this department only passed their OWLs, and barely that. A great many of them have never even met a muggle, and have barely spoken to muggle-born wizards. You are the right, if not the only, choice for this position. I know you’ll do me proud.” He put a hand on her shoulder, “And just remember, you have friends in high places. Myself, Headmaster Dumbledore, and even the new Minister. She’s very impressed with your work so far. You can do a lot of good, Ms. Howell. Don’t waste this chance.”

 

She smiled weakly, “Thank you, sir.”

 

“ARGH! How can this be happening? In a few months, I’ll be the head of an entire department; and I have _no_ idea what I’m doing. What am I going to do?” Faith whined, pulling at her hair.

 

Sirius wrapped her in his arms and rocked her gently, “Shh, don’t fret love.” He kissed the top of her head, “You can do _anything_. If you want a mountain to move, it will; I have no doubt about it. Just remember, I’m always here for you if you need me.”

 

She nuzzled deep into his chest, wrapping her arms around his waist, “Thank you, darling. I love you…”

 

“But, if you decide that you don’t _want_ to do it; you can always quit and spend all your time with me.” He said, waggling his eyebrows.

 

She sighed, “Sirius…”

 

“It was worth a shot,” He winked.

 

She pulled him down for a kiss.

 

“Oh, that is _sexy_.” Sirius said seductively, leaning against the doorframe.

 

“Same to you, gorgeous.” Faith said, waggling her eyebrows and posing in her puffy floral bridesmaid dress.

 

Sirius laughed, straightening the bowtie of his burgundy dress robes. “Oh, I know.” He went over and wrapped her in his arms. “So, tell me, have you ever been snogged by a man in burgundy robes?”

 

“No, but I hear it’s lovely.” She wrapped her arms around his neck.

 

He grinned and proceeded to snog her silly, until Remus walked in and said, “Geez… can’t you two…” He sighed and continued, “Come on Sirius, we have to get James. Fay, you need to get to the wedding to help Lily get ready.”

 

Sirius sighed and let Faith go, “Fine… if I must.”

 

“Well, James will kill you otherwise…” Remus said, unimpressed.

 

Faith walked up to Remus and kissed him on the cheek, “Thank you for the reminder, Remy. I’ll go right now.”

 

“Thanks. You look adorable, by the way.” Remus said, smiling.

 

She rolled her eyes, “Sure. Be good, you two. I’ll see you there.”

 

“Take notes! You’re next!” Sirius said, a sincere look in his eyes.

 

She gave him a coy look, “ _Maybe_ …”

 

Sirius glared at her, “Faith…”

 

She waved at them, “See you at the wedding!”

 

Remus burst out laughing.

 

“Am I doing the right thing, Faith? We’re so _young_ …” Lily said, wringing her hands.

 

Faith smiled, “Oh, I wouldn’t worry about that. You two have already gone through so much, and you’re willing to keep working on your relationship. Plus, you two _really_ like each other, on top of being in love. That’s a really good place to start.”

 

Lily smiled and hugged her, “Thank you.”

 

Faith hugged her back, “You’re very welcome.”

 

Lily pulled back and sighed, “He can be _very_ insufferable though.”

 

“If he wasn’t insufferable on occasion, your life would be _very_ boring. Besides, nobody’s perfect.” Faith said, arranging Lily’s hair.

 

“I don’t know… I’m pretty perfect.” Lily joked, a smirk on her face.

 

Faith rolled her eyes, “More like extremely pleasant, most of the time.”

 

Lily sniffed, “Hey, be nice to me; it’s my wedding day!”

 

Faith snickered, “Okay then, you’re absolutely perfect in every way.”

 

“No need to get snarky.”

 

“Sorry, can’t help myself.”

 

“So, when are you and Sirius getting married?” Lily asked, changing the subject.

 

“Oh, we’ll be engaged any day now. He’s told me we’re getting married a few times, already.”

 

Lily looked up at her, “And _how_ is that not being engaged?”

 

“He hasn’t actually _asked_ me to marry him. I certainly won’t be _told_ that I’m doing _anything_ , including marrying the man I love.”

 

“But you _do_ want to marry him, right?”

 

Faith smiled fondly, “I would’ve married him on our very first day. But, of course, he doesn’t realize that. Sirius can be really oblivious at times, for all his cleverness.” She smiled, “It’s alright though, I’m enjoying being ‘coerced’ into the idea.”

 

Lily chuckled.

 

When the time of the ceremony came, Lily and James only had eyes for one another. Their faces were lit up with love and happiness, warming the hearts of everyone around them. And right behind them, Faith and Sirius were staring into one another’s eyes; silently repeating the same vows their friends were making.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [My Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/bofurandori)


	10. I love you more

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “But love, I’ve come to understand, is more than three words mumbled before bedtime. Love is sustained by action, a pattern of devotion in the things we do for each other every day.”   
> ― Nicholas Sparks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters. I am not making any money off of this.

Sirius came home from a difficult mission late one night, stripping off his clothes and showering before quietly crawling into bed with Faith. Before he could wrap his arms around her she turned and smiled drowsily at him, “So… I’m guessing the mission didn’t go exactly as planned?”

 

He chuckled, “Most women would assume I was fooling around at this point.”

 

She snuggled closer to him, and he wrapped his arms around her as she sighed, “You wouldn’t do that.”

 

His heart warmed and he kissed the top of her head, “Never.”

 

“Did you find anything?”

 

He smiled, “Yes, we found the Seal of Solomon. It was buried in that shipwreck in the English Channel. How the _hell_ did you manage to figure that out, by the way?”

 

“Remember how I fell asleep at the table, reading, for a week?”

 

“Of course, you worried the hell out of me.” He replied, frowning.

 

“Well, that’s how I figured it out. I found out as much as I could about the original tale and then followed the thread from there.”

 

He smiled adoringly and rubbed his nose against hers, “You’re amazing.”

 

She wrapped her arms around his neck, “And you’re a hypocrite. I worried _you_ by not getting enough sleep? How do you think I feel when you go out on a mission? You could be _killed_!”

 

He sighed and nuzzled into her hair, “I know, my love, I know. But it can’t be helped.”

 

She stroked his chest, “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you.”

 

“You’re not going to lose me.” He said, combing his fingers through her hair.

 

“You can’t promise that.”

 

“No... I can’t. But if there’s any way that I can get back to you, know that I’ll find it.”

 

She smiled and leaned in to give him a soft kiss, “I know.”

 

He smiled then deepened the kiss, wrapping his fingers in his hair. When they came up for air he husked, “As much as I’d like to shag you silly right now…”

 

She laughed, “Come on, handsome. Let’s get some sleep; I’m more than happy to cuddle you silly.”

 

He grinned, “You’re amazing.”

 

“You’re not so bad yourself.” She gave him another kiss. “I love you, Sirius.”

 

He gazed into her eyes, “I love you more.”

 

She rolled her eyes, “I’m not going to fight about that.”

 

“Good, because I’ll win.” He said cheekily, his grin widening.

 

Faith sighed, but then smiled affectionately. “Go to sleep, love.” She rested her head on his chest.

 

Sirius wrapped his arm firmly around her and drifted off to sleep.

 

 

Faith sighed dreamily; she knew that she was staring, but couldn’t care less. Sirius was looking particularly gorgeous today, and she intended to get an eye full. His dark hair glowed in the sunlight, and he was wearing a well-tailored suit; it made him look like a romantic hero from one of her books.

 

They were at an order meeting, and Sirius was discussing something with Dumbledore. They’d finished their official business and now it was time for discussion about individual missions, as well as any socializing they wished to do. Lily brought Faith’s attention back to her and said, “Alright, I get it. You’re in love. But there’s something important I need to tell you.”

 

Faith blinked and gave Lily her full attention, “What is it?”

 

Lily smiled, “I’m pregnant!”

 

Faith blinked, “Are you serious?” Then groaned and slapped her forehead.

 

Lily glared, “Really?”

 

Sirius dropped into the chair next to Faith, slung an arm around her shoulders, before saying, “She’s not serious, I am!” He nuzzled her ear, “It’s worrying that you didn’t notice, apple.”

 

Faith turned, gave him a soft kiss, then smiled and said, “Sirius, my love…”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Please go away.” She said sternly.

 

He pouted, and gave her puppy eyes, “But… but _apple_!”

 

It was hard to resist Sirius when he looked and sounded like that, but Lily clearly didn’t want to include him at the moment. So, Faith sighed and gave him another kiss, “I’m very sorry, I’ll make it up to you later.”

 

He narrowed his eyes, “How?”

 

“I’ll take you to a muggle joke shop.” She gave him a small smile.

 

He lit up, “Really?!?”

 

She nodded, “Yes… I’ll exchange the money at Gringotts and we can get whatever you want.”

 

He grinned, “Deal!”

 

She kissed him on the nose, “Good, now scram!”

 

He laughed and jumped up to go talk to James.

 

Faith turned her attention back to Lily, “Right, sorry about that. You were saying?”

 

Lily gave a long-suffering sigh, “How the hell do you have a relationship with a man like that?”

 

Faith brightened, “Quite easily, actually.” She tilted her head, “How do you have a relationship with someone like James?”

 

Lily chuckled, “Fair enough.”

 

“Now, about the pregnancy…” Faith urged.

 

“Oh… right… So, we’re having a baby.”

 

Faith smiled, “Congratulations!”

 

Lily smiled back, “Thanks! And… well… We want the two of you, Sirius and you, to be the Godparents.”

 

Faith touched her hand to her chest, smiling happily, “Lily… I’d be _honored_!” Then she frowned slightly, “But… Sirius and I aren’t married. Is it really okay to make the two of us the godparents?”

 

Lily rolled her eyes, “Who are you kidding, Faith? You two are going to get married eventually. Furthermore, James insisted on Sirius being the Godfather and I insisted on you being the Godmother; it was an easy compromise.”

 

 Faith grinned, “Well, thank you! I’ll do my best to do the title justice.”

 

Lily smiled affectionately and touched Faith’s hand, “I know you will.”

 

Faith turned her hand and squeezed Lily’s.

 

Faith came home and Sirius excitedly jumped up from the couch to greet her, but his mood turned protective when he saw the look on her face. “What happened?”

 

“I fucking _hate_ Dolores Umbridge, that’s what happened! That fucking harpy is such a… a…” Faith screamed, pouring herself a glass of firewhiskey.

 

Sirius’ eyes widened, those weren’t words Faith threw around lightly; and he could tell that she really meant them. His Faith _hated_ this woman, and that meant Sirius hated her too. He narrowed his eyes, “Go on…”

 

Faith pulled at her hair, “She’s this… this… _creature_. She heads up the Improper Use of Magic office, so I _have_ to deal with her but… she’s a _monster_! She tries to stop me at every turn, she wants to shut down the muggle liaison office, acts like muggles are sub-human… she’s such a _hateful_ woman! Just… just _mean_ and _hateful_ and **_cruel_**! Words can’t even describe…”

 

Sirius wrapped his arms around her from behind, “I’m so sorry, angel. Is there anything I can do to help?” Set Dolores Umbridge on fire, perhaps?

 

She turned in his arms and wrapped hers tightly around his waist, snuggling into his chest, “Just be nice to me.”

 

He kissed her on the head, then grinned down at her, “Oh… be careful what you wish for.” He picked her up and swung her around, “Come on! Put on something pretty, I’m going to feed you until you burst and then I’m going to buy you all the books you want!” It wouldn’t solve the problem, but it would take her mind off things.

 

She laughed and then cupped his cheeks, kissing him soundly. She rubbed her nose against his, “I love you so much…”

 

He smiled, “I love you more.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [My Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/bofurandori)


	11. Will you keep me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “The future for me is already a thing of the past -  
> You were my first love and you will be my last”   
> ― Bob Dylan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters. I am not making any money off of this.

Faith came back from work, tired but satisfied that her negotiations with the Prime Minister had gone well. Ms. Thatcher wasn’t the easiest person to work with, in fact there were times that she genuinely considered the side of isolationists, but the woman could be reasoned with if you gave her enough motivation. Today had been a small victory, but a victory none the less.

 

When she walked through the door, she noticed that lit candles were flying everywhere and a thin golden rope laid out a path in front of her. She followed the path into the sitting room and found a small book attached to the end of the rope. The title read “The adventures of Faith and Sirius” by Sirius Black.

 

The first two pages had a picture of Sirius when he was a baby with a baby picture of Faith on the other side:

_Once upon a time, two children were born. One was born into an ancient pureblood wizarding family, which held great wealth and prestige… but very little love. The other was born into a muggle family, which lived a small and comfortable life that was full of love._

The next pages had pictures of Sirius and Faith when they were tiny children:

_Sirius grew up with every comfort and advantage one could think of. But he was deeply unhappy, because his family was small-minded and hateful, and were upset with him for not being like them. He wondered if he would ever find a place in this world where he would truly belong. Faith, however, had little in the way of material comforts. But it didn’t matter, because she lived in a world all her own, full of knowledge and adventure; where anything was possible if you were pure of heart and never gave up. Her family was kind and good, and always encouraged her to stand up for what she believed in_ _._

When she turned the page, she saw two pictures taken of them during their first year at Hogwarts:

_One day, the two children were accepted into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Both were excited to start their new adventure, although Faith was nervous since she hadn’t known that magic truly existed before then. Sirius could never have imagined, as he walked onto that train with his new best friend James, that he was about to meet someone that would change his life forever. But, sure enough, as he sat in that train car he saw a boy with light brown hair walking arm in arm with the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen. Without thinking, he’d screamed out, “Hey! You can sit with us!”_

The next few pictures were of their early, happy times at Hogwarts:

_The two had their good times._

Then there were pictures of the two fighting:

_And their bad times._

 

There were pictures of their last few years of Hogwarts, where their friends had caught them giving one another sad, wistful looks:

_And times that broke their hearts._

Then two pictures of them at James and Lily’s engagement party:

_But, eventually, they got it together. Sirius told Faith how he felt about her, and by some miracle his beloved felt the same._

Two pictures of them recently:

_And the two started a happy life together, full of laughter and love. Sirius knew he had finally found his place in the world._

Faith wiped happy tears from her eyes and then Sirius came up and gave her a soft kiss on the top of her head, before kneeling before her and pulling a small box from his pocket. Opening the box, she saw that it was an engagement ring with a platinum band that had small diamonds embedded in it, with the focal point being the largest (and most beautiful) grey star sapphire she’d ever seen. “I would like to offer you this ring, as my way of saying that… I’m offering myself to you, heart and soul, for the rest of my life. If you’ll have me.” He looked at her hopefully, “So… will you keep me?”

 

She laughed and smiled through her tears, before taking his face between her hands and saying, “Yes, Sirius Black, I’ll keep you.” With that, she leaned in and kissed him.

 

He groaned happily, pulling her off the couch and into his lap, where he wrapped her in his arms. The ring box fell gently to the side, where it rested contentedly until the next morning; when Sirius reached down from the couch and plucked the ring out of it so he could finally place it on the finger of his love.

 

Faith sleepily nuzzled further into Sirius’ side as they waited to hear news of Lily and the new baby. Sirius was dozing lightly, keeping his arm firmly around his new fiancée, as Remus read the newspaper across from them. Peter had gone in search of food for them, and they were beginning to suspect that he’d ventured further than the hospital kitchens. When Sirius woke up a bit more he turned to Faith and asked, “Hey, how many children do you want to have?”

 

She looked at him with tired eyes, and yawned a bit, before saying, “I don’t know… more than one? How many do you want?”

 

“Lots!” Sirius said, grinning.

 

She smiled back at him, “I draw the line at five.”

 

He smiled at her adoringly, “Deal.” Then he kissed her.

 

“Hey now, enough of that. Just because I gave you two my blessing, doesn’t mean I want to watch you snog.” Remus said dryly.

 

“I’ll try, but your cousin is irresistible.” Sirius said, waggling his eyebrows.

 

Remus frowned, “Merlin, to think I’ll have to put up with this for the rest of my life.”

 

Sirius grinned, “Damn right, you will!”

 

Peter came back with an arm full of food, “Alright, I brought fish and chips.”

 

A few minutes afterward James ran into the room, grinning ear-to-ear, “The baby’s come!”

 

Everyone jumped up and went into the room, where Lily was sleepily (but happily) cradling her child. Faith smiled down at the baby, “What’s their name?”

 

“Harry James Potter.” Lily cooed, still looking at Harry.

 

Sirius raised an eyebrow, “Really, mate? You gave him your name as his middle name?”

 

James sniffed, “It’s not unusual!”

 

“Right…” Sirius said, rolling his eyes. Then he looked back down at Harry and smiled, “Oh yeah, I can’t wait to spoil him rotten.”

 

Lily gave him a look, “Not too rotten.”

 

Faith leaned against Sirius, “Oh, I don’t know Lily. We might not have a choice. I mean… just look at him, who could say no to that face?”

 

Lily shook her head, “Et tu, Faith?”

 

She chuckled, “Oh yeah.” She smiled down at Harry, “Can I hold him?”

 

Lily smiled and nodded, “Sure.”

 

Faith gently took him into her arms and cradled him, looking down at him she said, “Hey there… We’re your Godparents. We’ll be looking out for you from now on. Along with your parents, of course.”

 

Harry opened his little eyes, yawned, and snuggled further into Faith’s arms.

 

Faith smiled and cooed, “I’ll take that as approval.”

 

“Well, at least he’ll never have to worry about being lonely. Good thing we have such excellent taste in friends.” James said, smiling.

 

“Oh yes,” Lily sighed happily.

 

Remus stroked Harry’s head with a finger, “Poor little guy, he’s had a long day.”

 

“Yes, but a happy and productive one. You only get to be born once per lifetime, after all.” Faith said.

 

Remus smiled, “True.”

 

“I want to hold him!” Peter said, rushing up.

 

Peter put a hand forward to try and take him from Faith, but Harry immediately started to cry. Peter pulled his hand back as if it had been slapped. “Or not…”

 

Faith cuddled Harry to her, “There, there Harry! It’s only…” She turned and looked at Peter as if she’d never seen him before, and narrowed her eyes slightly. “It’s only Peter…”

 

“Here, give him to me.” Lily said with concern.

 

Faith gently handed Harry back to his mother, then resumed studying Peter. Something in her told her that this wasn’t a good sign, and that perhaps she needed to keep a closer eye on Peter.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [The Ring](https://www.langantiques.com/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/1/4/1414020462_30_3_5708__1_of_7__hires.jpg)
> 
> [My Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/bofurandori)


	12. In an instant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have - life itself.   
> \- Walter Anderson

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters. I am not making any money off of this.

Sirius smiled at Faith as she slept peacefully in his arms. Some days it felt like she was the only thing keeping him from madness; because everything else in his world was… complicated, at best. There was now a spy in their midst, and he was beginning to think that Moony… Remus… One of his best friends, and (aside from him, he hoped) Faith’s dearest companion, was the culprit. What could possibly inspire such betrayal, he didn’t know. Perhaps the burden of his lycanthropy had become too much, and so had been weak enough to be tempted. But, whatever it was, he couldn’t allow Remus to get the upper hand.

 

He’d been doing all he could to keep as much information from Remus as possible, including separating him from Faith. It took a lot of doing, taking up every free moment Faith had until she clearly suspected something was wrong. But whenever she asked he merely said that he was feeling protective, which seemed to satisfy her. He couldn’t tell her that her cousin was a spy, not only would she not believe him but she was likely to confront Remus herself… which might get her hurt. No, he couldn’t tell her… not right now, anyway.

 

“What’s with that face? Tired of me already?” Faith asked, looking up at him sweetly.

 

He smiled down at her, letting all the adoration he felt for her show in his face. “Never, my angel.” He leaned down and kissed her softly, “I’m sorry, I was thinking about what’s happening in the Order.”

 

She frowned, and looking concerned. “They haven’t found the spy yet?”

 

He shook his head, “I’m afraid not.”

 

She sighed, “I hate to bring it up but… have you considered Peter at all? I wouldn’t suggest it but… something is happening with him that I just… I just don’t like.”

 

Sirius shook his head. This wasn’t the first-time Faith had brought it up, but he trusted Peter. Not to the extent he trusted Faith or James, but he trusted him. Peter was much too simple minded to be involved in espionage. “I know you’re concerned, but trust me… it isn’t Peter.”

 

She nodded, “Alright… if you say so, love.”

 

“I do,” He said, giving her another kiss.

 

“I still can’t believe you gave him a _broom_!” Lily said, furious. She turned to Faith, “And that _you_ let him!”

 

Faith shrugged, “It’s not like he’s going to use it any time soon, Lily. And you two will be there to watch him. It’s like a training bike, right?”

 

“Right!” Sirius said, proudly.

 

“You two…” Frank Longbottom said, shaking his head. “I suppose I should thank you for getting Neville gifts that are _actually_ age appropriate.”

 

At that moment, Neville crawled up to Faith and she took him up in her arms. He gently tugged at her hair and she smiled at him, “Well, Nevvie is a bit more timid than Harry. Best to start him off slow.” She stroked his head, “But, not to worry. You’re still an absolute darling.”

 

Neville cooed at her and tugged a bit harder on her hair.

 

Alice sat next to Faith, divesting her of Neville. “That’s enough hair pulling, Neville. Don’t take advantage.” Alice smiled at Faith, “So, you said my dress for the wedding was fine?”

 

Faith nodded, “Oh yes, as long as it’s black I don’t really mind. Thanks again for agreeing to be a bridesmaid. Bridesmatron?” Faith looked thoughtful.

 

Alice beamed, “Of course! What are friends for? I would’ve asked you to be a bridesmaid at my wedding, but _Frank_ …!”

 

“Yes, yes… I’m a bore for not wanting someone I dated to be your bridesmaid.” Frank said, rolling his eyes.

 

“Quite boring. Yes.” Alice said with a sniff. Alice and Faith had been on friendly terms long before she’d dated Frank. And when Frank first asked Alice out, she’d asked Faith’s permission (which she’d wholeheartedly given). The whole episode had brought the two women closer together, even if it did make Frank vaguely uncomfortable.

 

Harry soon joined the two women and reached up toward Faith, who obligingly picked him up. Harry nestled into Faith and began a muddled conversation with Neville, which Faith could only assume was about how soothing Harry’s cake had felt in his hair. Soon, Harry looked up at Faith and asked a question. She had no idea what it _was_ , but knew that it was a question. So, she answered, “Do you want to be put back down?”

 

“Doofle!” Harry answered.

 

She put him down and he crawled back toward his mother.

 

“How could this have happened?!?” Faith wailed, holding Harry close as she walked out of what used to be the Potter home with Sirius.

 

He had his arm wrapped tightly around her shoulders, but whether it was to comfort her or keep himself steady neither could have said. “Peter…” He said, with barely concealed rage.

 

Faith looked at him in confusion at first, then anger, “Sirius… **_what did you do?!?_** ”

 

He looked at her, and didn’t try to conceal the sorrow in his eyes, “I’m so sorry, Faith… I thought… I don’t know what I thought…”

 

She snarled, “I **_told_** you he was up to something! You didn’t _listen_ to me!”

 

“I’m sorry! I’m _so_ sorry!” He ran his fingers through his hair, “I’ve ruined everything!”

 

She glared at him as Harry whimpered. Later, she would comfort him. Later, she would be able to reassure him that it wasn’t his fault and that there hadn’t _really_ been any way to know. They could mend their broken hearts together, and figure out how to go on. But, right now, all she could offer him was anger. Two of her best friends were dead, their child orphaned, and the person who’d likely betrayed them was on the loose. When they got home, he would have a _lot_ of explaining to do. “We don’t have time for this now, we need to get Harry home where it’s _safe_.”

 

“Actually, I’m afraid that can’t happen.” Hagrid said, walking up to them.

 

Faith clutched Harry close, “What the hell do you mean _can’t happen_?!?” She snarled at him, every maternal instinct within her on high alert.

 

Hagrid held up his hands, “Dumbledore has other plans, I’m afraid. Says that the only way to keep him safe is to leave him with Lily’s sister.”

 

“ _I’m_ Lily’s sister! Petunia is only someone who shares her genes! And if you think I’m letting you take my Godson anywhere _near_ that wretched woman, you have another thing coming! I don’t care _who_ you are or _who_ sent you, you’re not getting him! You’ll have to pry him from my cold, dead hands!” Harry began to cry, again, and Faith tried to comfort him.

 

“I’m with her, Hagrid. We’re the ones the Potters wanted to watch out for him, you have _no right_ to ask us to let you take him!” Sirius growled, standing in front of his loved ones.

 

“I’m sorry. But Dumbledore knows what’s best. You know he wouldn’t ask it of you unless it was important.” Hagrid said softly.

 

“Bullshit!” Faith growled, “Hasn’t he done enough damage?”

 

“How can you ask us to leave Harry with people he doesn’t know, who don’t love him? How could that _possibly_ be for the best?” Sirius asked with a glare.

 

“Because it’s the only way he’ll be safe! Don’t you owe that to him, at least?” Hagrid said, frowning.

 

Sirius and Faith looked at each other, and eventually Sirius took them both into his arms. “If there’s any chance to keep him safe… _really_ keep him safe…”

 

“No…” Faith sniffed, holding onto Harry who was still crying softly. “We’re his parents now! We can’t let him do this!”

 

He kissed the top of her head, “I think we have to, my love.”

 

They pulled away from each other, “I don’t know…”

 

He smiled softly, “Why don’t you just go talk to him and find out what’s going on? Take my bike. I’ll meet you back home.”

 

“You’re not coming?” Faith asked, wide eyed.

 

He shook his head, “No, I have something I need to do.”

 

She just stared at him for a moment, then nodded, “I understand. Just… just remember to come home to me.”

 

He smiled at her adoringly, “I’ll always come home to you, Faith. I love you, with all my heart.”

 

She smiled at him sadly, “I love you too…”

 

He leaned in and gave her a soft kiss, whispering, “I love you more.” Then he kissed Harry’s forehead, “Go on, now. Before I change my mind.”

 

She nodded, “Okay… I’ll see you soon?”

 

He smiled and nodded, “Very soon.”

 

“It’s the only way, Faith. I promise you, if there was another way to ensure his safety and let him go home with you I would do it.” Dumbledore said sadly.

 

Faith looked at Harry’s little face one more time, and a sob escaped her. “But I love him!”

 

“I know you do…” Dumbledore said gently, and she finally began to think that maybe he did understand.

 

McGonagall wrapped her arms around Faith, “I’m so sorry, Faith. This is a terrible thing to ask of you.”

 

Faith nuzzled Harry, “Can I at least visit?”

 

Dumbledore shook his head, “No, it might compromise the house.”

 

Tears ran freely from her eyes, and she knew that if Harry hadn’t cried himself to sleep already he would have joined her. She looked down at Harry one more time, “I’m so sorry, Harry. I know you can’t understand but… I’m _so sorry_! If there was any way… any way at all that I could make this right, I would. I would have given my own life to spare your parents.” She kissed his forehead, “Please know that you’re loved. I know that it won’t feel like it for a while, but you are _very loved_ and always will be.” She nuzzled him one last time, “Forgive me.”

 

With that, she gently laid Harry on the Dursley’s step. Thinking he might get cold, she took off her sweater and wrapped it around him, “There… that should keep you warm, darling.”

 

Tears began to fall from Faith’s eyes again, and McGonagall took her into her arms and led her away. “Come now, let’s get you home.”

 

“I have to take the motorcycle…” Faith said, half dazed with sorrow.

 

“Don’t worry, I’m not a stranger to flying motorcycles.” McGonagall said.

 

A small, forced smile crossed Faith’s face, “Of course you aren’t.”

 

A few weeks later, Faith gathered what she could from the Potter home. She took James’ invisibility cloak, whatever pictures she could find, the Marauder’s map, Lily’s favorite books and jewelry, and other assorted items that she intended to give to Harry next time she saw him. Which wouldn’t be for a very long time.

 

“I can hold on to those, if you’d prefer.” Dumbledore said behind her. And given all that had happened the last few weeks, she wasn’t the least bit surprised to find him there.

 

“Not on your life.” Faith said sternly.

 

Dumbledore sighed, “How many times do I have to say I’m sorry, Faith?”

 

“Once would have been nice,” Faith growled half-heartedly.

 

“No one could have predicted Sirius’ betrayal, Faith. Not even you.” He said quietly.

 

She gripped the sides of the box tightly, “I swear to all that is good and pure in this world, Albus. If you ever mention his name to me again without a _damn good_ reason, I’ll slit your fucking throat and join him in Azkaban.”

 

Albus sighed, “Very well. Anyway, that wasn’t why I came here.”

 

“Oh, of course not. Tell me, what reason do you have for showing up this time? I can’t think anything else you can take from me. Joining your Order got the Potters and Wormtail killed, my fiancée sent to Azkaban, all of which drove my cousin into hiding. You somehow convinced me to leave my Godson with two abusive muggles that my friends expressly asked not to get custody of him. And, to top it all off, I’ve lost my job in the Ministry. Tell me, have you come to finish me off? You’d be doing me a service at this point.”

 

“Blaming me won’t fix things, Faith.” Albus scolded her.

 

“No, of course not. But it makes me feel better to have someone to direct my hatred toward. After all, fuckface is dead and buried.”

 

Albus sighed, “I came to offer you a job.”

 

That got Faith to turn and consider him, “Pardon?”

 

“A job. Our librarian is retiring and I would like to offer you the position. Full benefits, of course, and the job comes with a house in Hogsmede so you can finally move out of… your old one.”

 

“Really? After everything I just said, you’re offering me a job?” Faith asked, raising an eyebrow.

 

He smiled at her, “Of course. You’re grieving right now, anger is to be expected.”

 

Faith rolled her eyes, then turned back to the box. She picked up a picture of all her friends, alive and together, and it felt like those times had been a million years ago; rather than a month. In an instant, she’d lost everything that had ever mattered to her. To be honest, she had no idea where to go from here. But, books had always shown her the way in the past so maybe surrounding herself with them would help her now. “Fine… I don’t have anything better to do, after all.”

 

“Excellent! I’ll make the arrangements immediately!” Albus said, with a happiness that Faith didn’t think was appropriate (all things considered).

 

Faith nodded, sitting down by the box. When Albus was gone she softly began to cry, and wondered if she’d ever be able to stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [My Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/bofurandori)


	13. Tea and Scones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Grief, as in everything, should be experienced in moderation. There is a time to grieve heavily but then there is a time to set it aside and become happy in life again.”   
> ― Aleksandra Layland

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters. I am not making any money off of this.

Since she apparently wouldn’t be allowed to wear her normal, muggle attire; Faith had purchased some more traditional witch garb. Silk and velvet dresses with lacey cuffs and collars, all long with fitted bodices and flowing skirts; in greys, blues, dark reds and pinks. Along with these she’d brought a cameo charm that Lily had bought her, which she could strap onto a ribbon that matched her outfit, and a silver hair comb that James had bought her for her 16th birthday. Her engagement ring, she’d attached to the longest silver chain that she could find and it laid well hidden in her cleavage; she had decided that she wouldn’t explain the chain or herself if anyone should find out what was attached to it. For shoes, she’d bought flats made of silk, velvet, and leather; all very comfortable while still being traditional.

 

Her new clothes, along with the essentials, photographs, and her book collection were all she was taking to her home in Hogsmede. Everything else she shut away in the home she’d shared with Sirius, placing a charm on the home so that there were only two people who could see or enter it; one being herself, and the other was in Azkaban. Sirius had written a will that stated that if anything should happen to him, be it death or incapacitation (which apparently included imprisonment) Faith was to inherit all his worldly goods. This included the house, his fortune, and now his family’s house and _their_ fortune. She imagined that his family would have a field day with the knowledge that their estate had passed to a ‘mudblood’.

 

The only thing she’d taken from the Black Household was their house elf, Kreacher, who hadn’t been very pleased with the arrangement _at all_. But, seeing as he _was_ a house elf and was even _more_ displeased by her offer to free him; he had no choice but to follow her. But, he seemed to be settling in alright. Faith treated him kindly, kept him well fed and gave him as many comforts as he would allow.

 

With one last look at the house she’d been so happy in, she sighed and said, “Kreacher, I’m ready. Have you put everything in the car?”

 

“Yes, Mistress Howell. Is there anything else you need?” Kreacher asked, coming from behind a corner.

 

She smiled at him, “No, thank you. Go on to the new house and unpack everything, I’ll meet you there. Don’t forget to eat something when you get there.”

 

He bowed, “As you wish.” Without another word, he went downstairs and went with the taxi to Hogsmede.

 

She straightened the lace cufflinks on the teal blue velvet dress she’d chosen for her first day at Hogwarts. Faith had decided against putting her hair up, and so the brown strands flowed freely across her shoulders; somehow making her feel even more awkward in the strange clothing. Going down the stairs, she tried to memorize everything about the house. She’d moved very little since the day… since the day everything happened. The mess Sirius had made of his motorcycle magazines was still on the coffee table, and his leather jacket was still laid across an armchair (even though she’d reminded him a _million times_ to hang it up). Perhaps it _was_ for the best to get out of this house, it wouldn’t do to surround herself with memories and forget how to make them.

 

“Poe! Come along!” Faith shouted, and Poe dutifully flew to her and perched on her shoulder.

 

She went to the garage and found the flying motorcycle, freshly washed and maintained for its trip. Faith had debated whether to take it, but for some reason it just seemed wrong to leave it here all alone. So, she adjusted herself on top of the bike and put on her helmet and goggles before taking off toward her new life; Poe flying happily beside her.

 

“Dear Merlin, is Albus taking in _every_ stray left behind in the war?” Snape hissed when he saw Faith.

 

She narrowed her eyes, “You’re one to talk, _Death Eater_!”

 

“I turned _against_ the Death Eaters! I provided valuable information to Albus, at the risk of my own life! You, on the other hand, were an accomplice to the man who got the Potters killed!” Snape bellowed, stepping closer to Faith.

 

“I did _no such thing_!” Faith yelled back, stiffening.

 

“Just because they couldn’t _prove_ you did, doesn’t mean that you didn’t!”

 

“I _assure you_ that I have never killed, or gotten anyone killed, in my life! Which is more than one could say about _you_!” Faith said, standing up to Snape with a fierce look in her eyes.

 

“Now, children, none of that! Come now, Faith, I need to show you around the staff areas.” Minerva said, taking Faith aside and away from Snape.

 

Poe jumped from Faith’s shoulders and gave Snape a firm peck in the shoulder, making Snape swat at him, before joining the two women again.

 

“I _hate_ that man!” Faith hissed, and she meant it. He was a Death Eater, and she didn’t understand how Albus could look past that.

 

“Oh, he’s not so bad…” Minerva said half-heartedly.

 

“ **Not so bad** …” Faith practically spat.

 

Minerva frowned at Faith, “Now, dear, this isn’t like you.”

 

“How would you know? I don’t even know what’s like me anymore…” Faith said bitterly, looking at the floor.

 

Minerva hugged her, “I know it’s hard, but give it some time. Your wounds will heal.”

 

“What if I don’t want them to?”

 

“Oh, they will anyway. The question will be what kind of scar forms. Trust me.”

 

Faith looked at her a moment, then nodded. “If you say so.”

 

_ 4 years later _

__

“I don’t have to listen to you, filthy _mudblood_!” A Slytherin student hissed at her when she denied him access to the restricted section. “You shouldn’t even be allowed here!”

 

“That’s enough!” Snape yelled, walking into the library. “5 points from Slytherin!”

 

The boy blinked, “But… _sir_!”

 

“No! This sort of behavior is unacceptable! You can study back in the common room, and if I hear about you trying to get into the restricted section again you’ll have detention with me for a _month_!” Snape hissed.

 

Faith just stared at Snape for a moment, then said, “Uh… thank you… Professor Snape. I appreciate your assistance.”

 

He nodded and then turned, leaving the library with a flourish of black robes.

 

That night, as Faith was working late, Snape came in and laid a cup of tea and a plate of scones on her desk. When she looked up in surprise he cleared his throat, “I… thought you might be hungry. You missed dinner.”

 

She went wide eyed, “Yes… thank you. I… I lost track of time.”

 

He nodded and, much to her surprise, just stood there as if waiting for something.

 

“Would you like to sit down?” She asked, pointing to the chair across from her.

 

He nodded again and sat down, looking around. After a moment of awkward silence, he said, “The library has improved since you took charge of it. The collection has increased, with very impressive items, and it’s much easier to find things.”

 

She smiled slightly, “Thank you… I try my best.”

 

Clearing his throat, “I’ve never asked you… why do you have a pet raven?”

 

She looked at Poe, “My cousin, Remus, gave him to me.”

 

“But why?” Snape asked.

 

She smiled, “Because… he knew I would like him. Ravens are smart, playful, compassionate… they can talk better than parrots, and mate for life.”

 

Snape’s head tilted, “Your raven doesn’t talk.”

 

“Yes, he does.” She chuckled. Faith turned to Poe, “Say hello to Professor Snape, Poe.”

 

“Hello.” Poe said in a slightly unsettling voice. “Keep your voice down.”

 

Snape shuddered slightly, “Makes me want to never speak again.”

 

Faith couldn’t hold back her laugh at that, “It _does_ take some getting used to.”

 

He nodded and his lips twitched, “It’s only… I thought your patronus might be a raven.”

 

She shook her head, “No… my patronus is a basset hound.”

 

He seemed to consider that for a moment, “Yes… that does seem a bit more appropriate.”

 

She smiled slightly, “Was that all you wanted, Professor Snape? To ask me about my pet?”

 

He looked at her for a moment, seemed to consider saying something else, then said, “Yes, that’s all for now. Goodnight.” With that, he stood up. But before he began to walk away he said, “By the way… you may call me Severus, if you’d like.”

 

She considered it a moment, then said, “Very well… then you may call me Faith, if you’d like.”

 

He nodded and left the room without another word.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [My Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/bofurandori)


	14. Still Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Some people, they can't just move on, you know, mourn and cry and be done with it. Or at least seem to be. But for me... I don't know. I didn't want to fix it, to forget. It wasn't something that was broken. It's just...something that happened. And like that hole, I'm just finding ways, every day, of working around it. Respecting and remembering and getting on at the same time. ”   
> ― Sarah Dessen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters. I am not making any money off of this.

Faith smiled, “Hello, Frost. What’ll it be today?”

 

Frost glared, “Do you have anything that’ll make people not be assholes?”

 

Faith was tempted to make a comment about bad language, but she just couldn’t bring herself to do it. “What’s wrong?”

 

“Professor Binns called me _Ms. Jane Bagsley_! And I’ve _repeatedly_ told him not to!” Frost huffed, waving their hands in the air.

 

Faith snorted, narrowing her eyes, “Distasteful! Do you want me to say something to him?”

 

Frost shook their head, “No… thank you.”

 

She gave the fourth-year student a soft look, “Are you sure? Looking after you is sort of my job, after all.”

 

They smiled at her, “No, really, I’m fine. I just… needed to say something to someone, I guess.”

 

She smiled back, “Well, I’m happy to help. Just _do_ try to keep your voice down. This _is_ a library, after all.”

 

Frost looked around, wide eyed, “Oh… right… sorry.” They laughed uncomfortably.

 

Faith smiled, “Quite alright. Now… since I can’t _solve_ the problem, would you like more books about transgender and non-binary people in mythology?”

 

“Yes! Thanks for showing me the book about Mwari, by the way.” Frost said happily.

 

“You’re welcome!” Faith grinned, then turned thoughtful. “Alright… hmm… Let me introduce you to Ardhanarisvara.”

 

“I’m so sorry, Ms. Howell! I just wanted to show you my project!” Daniel Trengove wailed as Faith tried very hard not to swear. The boy had brought in his venomous tentacula into the library to show her how well it had been doing, but he’d come behind her without warning and it had nibbled on her when she’d turned around.

 

“Is Severus coming?” Faith asked between clenched teeth.

 

“Here…” Severus said, coming in with a glare at Daniel before kneeling before her. “I have the antidote, open your mouth so I can help you drink it.” He put the open bottle by her mouth and it smelled _vile_!

 

“Ugh! I think I’d rather die…” She said, meaning it.

 

He glared at her, “Don’t be so dramatic! Open up! I won’t say it again!”

 

“No! Let me die!” Faith whined.

 

Without another word, Severus held her nose until she was forced to open her mouth and he poured it down her throat; covering her mouth so she couldn’t spit it out. Eventually, she was forced to swallow.

 

Gagging, she hissed, “ _Why would you do that_?!?”

 

He narrowed his eyes at her, “Because you’re the only person here that I can stand, and I’m not letting you die just because something _tastes bad_!”

 

“You’re an asshole!”

 

“So I’ve been told…”

 

“Alright then… take me to the hospital wing.”

 

Severus stood up, pulled her into his arms, and glared down at Daniel. “You will serve two months’ detention for this, Mr. Trengove! And if I ever hear of you taking that _thing_ out of the greenhouse again, I’ll make sure you’re expelled!”

 

“Severus…” Faith said weakly.

 

“Don’t start…” Severus said quietly, and began to carry her to the hospital wing.

 

“So, you never wanted to find another partner? _Actually_ get married, have children, and all that?” Severus asked over his tumbler of whiskey as he and Faith played their bi-weekly game of chess.

 

She looked at him over her glass of wine, “Why, are you offering?” He gave her a disgusted look, “That’s what I thought…”

 

“Really, though… You’re still young and reasonably attractive, I would think that was something you wanted.” Severus said thoughtfully, and his gaze was much too astute for Faith’s comfort.

 

“I _did_ want it! But things changed and… well, it’s not like I’m not _surrounded by children_ anyway.” She didn’t like thinking about these things, let alone talking about them. It tore open wounds that had fragile scabs over them, making them bleed again. She levelled Severus with a piercing gaze, “What about you? You’re not exactly Mr. Family Man, don’t you feel _incomplete_?”

 

He sniffed, “Absolutely not! Having a family of my own was _never_ a priority for me. I did love someone once… but that was long ago, and nothing ever came of it.” He looked at her, and his gaze softened, “I only ask because you Gryffindors seem prone to loneliness…”

 

“Look, if I ever feel the urge to find someone who’ll be happy to see me when I get home, cuddle with me at night, and love me for the rest of their life… I’ll get a dog.”

 

Severus barked out a laugh, then raised his tumbler, “Probably the better choice.”

 

She raised her glass and clinked it against his, “I think so.” As they drank, Faith managed to hide the flicker of sadness in her eyes.

 

“I need you to retrieve Harry.” Dumbledore said as Faith sat down in front of his desk.

 

She tilted her head, “Harry, who?” Was that the new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor or something?

 

Albus rolled his eyes, “ _Harry_! Your Harry.”

 

Faith went wide eyed, “My… you mean it’s time?” Then a frown crossed her face, “Wait… why do I need to pick him up? Won’t the Dursley’s take him to the station?”

 

“No… they won’t even let him read his acceptance letter.” When Faith jumped up and started toward the door, “Please don’t do anything rash! Just pick him up!”

 

As Faith rushed down the halls she thought, “What would James do…?”

 

“Promise me that when Harry gets here, you won’t be mean to him.” Faith said as Severus helped her bake a birthday cake in her home.

 

Severus glared at her, “I promise _nothing_.”

 

“You were his mother’s best friend, same as me, and the _very_ least you can do is be civil to him!”

 

“What if he’s just like James?” Severus spat out.

 

“Then you’ll still be _civil_. Just give him a chance, I’m sure he’s a sweet boy and he _needs us_. You can’t hold a child responsible for their parents’ actions.” Faith said firmly.

 

“Fine!” Severus growled, “But I’m holding you responsible if he’s a brat!”

 

Faith rolled her eyes, “You do that…” Then she smiled and touched his arm, “You’re a good friend, you know that? The best.”

 

He looked at her a moment, then smirked, “But still an asshole?”

 

She smiled at him, “Oh, a complete asshole.”

 

After Severus helped her load up the cake Faith took off to where the Dursleys were hiding Harry. It was a dreadful, stormy night and she hoped that her arrival wouldn’t scare him. When she got there, the door was locked and she genuinely tried to be civil about the whole thing. She knocked on the door three times, the third was met with a panicked and insulting male voice. So, she gave a long-suffering sigh and unlocked the door with magic (making it swing open for effect). As she walked in she noticed that Mr. and Mrs. Dursley were still as noxious as ever. Vernon Dursley had the _audacity_ to be pointing a gun at her!

 

“I demand that you leave at once, madam! You are breaking and entering!” Vernon shouted.

 

“Don’t call me _madam_! We’ve _met_!” Faith scoffed, she walked up to the gun and ripped it from the terrified Vernon’s hands. She unloaded the bullets then threw the gun across the room. “Honestly, _guns_? How uncivilized.”

 

Turning, she saw a little boy cowering in the corner. Faith narrowed her eyes, “You’re not Harry.” It wasn’t a question.

 

“No… I’m not.” The boy said. This must be Dudley, Lily had told her that Petunia had a son the same age as Harry. Poor thing, clearly his parents were already rubbing off on him.

 

“I’m Harry…” A soft voice said from the other side of the room.

 

She turned and… Look at him! He was _so adorable_! He looked just like James did at his age, but with Lily’s eyes! But… he was so thin! They’d been starving _her baby_! For a moment, she covered her mouth and tried not to cry; then she rushed over and wrapped Harry in her arms, “Of _course_ you are!”

 

Harry hesitated for a moment, then hugged her back. Weakly at first, but then his hold tightened.

 

She smiled down at him, “Oh, my sweet boy! You can’t _possibly_ imagine how happy I am to see you!”

 

“You are?” He asked, clearly surprised.

 

“I _am_!” She pulled a cake box from her bag, which she’d put an undetectable extension charm on. “Here, I brought you this! I baked it myself!” She opened the cake box to reveal that it had a white cake with “Happy Birthday Harry!” written in bold letters. She sat it down on a nearby table, where the Dursleys could see it clearly.

 

“Thank you!” Harry said, smiling.

 

“My pleasure!” She said, grinning back.

 

He shuffled his feet a bit and asked, “I don’t mean to be rude but… who are you?”

 

She blinked, “Who am I?” She smiled gently, “Oh! I suppose you wouldn’t know from pictures alone. I’m your Godmother, Faith Howell. I’ve come to fetch you. Here…” She handed him his acceptance letter.

 

He opened the letter and read aloud. Then he looked up and said, “Hogwarts? Witchcraft and wizardry?”

 

“Of course! Same as your parents.” She smiled affectionately, “I’m sure you’ll be wonderful at it, I can’t wait to see your progress!”

 

“My parents? My parents knew magic?” He asked, wide eyed.

 

She frowned, “Of course they did… Didn’t your Aunt and Uncle tell you _that_ at least?”

 

He turned and shouted at the Dursleys, “You knew! You knew all this time, and you never told me? You told me my parents died in a car crash!”

 

“A _car crash_!?!” She shot up and glared. Memories rushed back of that horrible night, of the death of two of her dearest friends. She gathered Harry to her and hissed, “How _dare_ you tell him that his parents died in a _car crash_?”

 

“Because when we took him in, we swore we’d put an end to all this magic nonsense!” Vernon spat out.

 

“I will not have him turn out to be a **_freak_** , like my _perfect sister_ and that _man_! ...” Petunia began, disgusted.

 

 “Do. Not. **_Ever_ ** insult the Potters in my presence! He’s 11, he’s been accepted into Hogwarts, and he’s _coming with me_!” Faith cut her off, narrowing her eyes.

 

“I won’t allow it!” Vernon shouted.

 

She sneered, “You don’t have a _choice_!”

 

They heard a scream come from Dudley in the corner, as he began to shrink. Faith laughed, “Oh, I was right! Greedy little thing...”

 

Vernon and Petunia rushed over to Dudley and Faith took Harry’s hand. “Come on, Harry, let’s go! Don’t worry, he’ll be alright in a few minutes.”

 

Harry nodded and they went outside toward the motorcycle. Faith took the real cake from the passenger car and handed it to him, “Here you go. Your _actual_ birthday cake.”

 

He laughed, “Thank you! But… how did you know?”

 

“I’m well acquainted with the Dursleys, they’re expert spoilers. Besides, your father would’ve never forgiven me if I hadn’t pranked them.”

 

Harry coughed, “What?!?”

 

“Oh, I have _so much_ to tell you!” Faith said, laughing as she handed him the spare helmet and goggles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [A List of Non-binary and trans-gender characters in mythology/ CAUTION: There are warnings on this page!](http://nonbinary.org/wiki/Gender_variance_in_spirituality)
> 
> [A good site for non-binary resources](http://nonbinary.org/wiki/Main_Page)
> 
> [My Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/bofurandori)


	15. So I can help you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “People shouldn't have to earn kindness. They should have to earn cruelty.”   
> ― Maggie Stiefvater

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters. I am not making any money off of this.

“So… Muggles are simply people without magic. Squibs are people who were born into wizarding families but don’t have any magic. Squibs aren’t regarded very highly in wizarding society, and their births are not recorded; and they are often sent to live in the Muggle world. Squibs generally marry Muggles, and it’s possible for a Muggle-born witch or wizard to occur in their family line generations later. Purebloods come from a very long line of purely magical folk, and are often very proud of that fact. Half-blood is a blanket term for a child that has genetic ties to Muggles but at least one magical parent; generally, Half-bloods are magical, but occasionally they can be Squibs. Pureblood people can sometimes look down on Muggle-born and Half-blood people, especially if they come from a family that’s very proud of their heritage. Pureblood families that don’t look down on people that aren’t Pureblood are often called Blood Traitors.” Harry looked up at Faith, “Did I get that right?”

 

Faith smiled down at him, “Exactly! Good, just keep that in mind. Si… Someone sat me down and told me that the first day I met him, and that it was important to know about these things; which he was right about. He…” She stopped herself, touching her chest where her ring was. No. She wasn’t going to talk about Sirius. Not to Harry, not to _anyone._ Faith had sworn that she would never speak about him, not unless it was **_absolutely_** necessary. In fact, she shouldn’t even be thinking about him. Bad Faith, why the _hell_ couldn’t she just forget about him? But Harry was looking at her expectantly so she finished (weakly), “He knew what he was talking about.”

 

Harry nodded, “Got it!”

 

She smiled, “Good. Now, let’s get you what you need.” Faith opened the doorway into the Leaky Cauldron and steeled herself for the reactions. As she suspected, everyone was overjoyed to see Harry… and had mixed feelings about her being with him. But, that couldn’t be helped. Professor Quirrell came up and introduced himself to Harry, politely enough. For some reason, she found the new Defense teacher extremely off-putting… but she would hold her tongue about it. No need to upset Harry, after all.

 

When the door to Diagon Alley was opened, Harry was clearly amazed. She chuckled and allowed him to stare in wonder at everything around him; simply happy that she could be here for this. “Now, first thing’s first. Let’s go to the bank so you can get some money out.”

 

“Money?”

 

“Of course! I told you, your parents were quite well off; and they left everything to you.”

 

They took the long trip to the Potter’s vault, letting Harry get as much money as he wanted. Afterward, she reluctantly picked up the Sorcerer’s stone for Albus; as he’d instructed by owl before she’d left the house. Clever old bastard, telling her by owl so she wouldn’t be able to object. Which she would have, seeing as keeping something that dangerous in Hogwarts with _children_ seemed like a terrible idea. But, he’d given her the opportunity to pick Harry up rather than someone more biddable; so (just this once) she would be compliant.

 

“What did you have to get?” Harry asked, looking up at her as they left the bank.

 

“Something for Albus.” She smiled down at him, “I’ll tell you about it when we get to Hogwarts, okay? But I can’t tell you about it here.”

 

He nodded, “Okay!”

 

“So, where to? Do you want to get your wand, or…?”

 

“Yes please!” He said excitedly, practically dancing.

 

She laughed, “One wand it is!”

 

To be honest, she was more than a little apprehensive about the wand that had chosen Harry. What did it mean? Had… had Voldemort really left a mark on him in more ways than one? Perhaps she should ask him a few questions, to gauge what the boy had been going through. “Harry… you told me that things have been happening that you couldn’t explain. Like… what sort of things, exactly?”

 

“Well… not _too_ much. Mainly, there was an incident at the Reptile House…”

 

She stiffened, and pulled him into an empty alleyway, “What _sort_ of incident?”

 

“Nothing, really! When Dudley pressed his face to the glass of the anaconda exhibit… I made the glass disappear. Then when the anaconda came out it… it _thanked_ me.” He looked up at her, curiosity in his eyes. “Is that normal, by the way? Being able to talk to snakes, I mean?”

 

She swallowed, tried to remain calm, then looked down at Harry. “I’m afraid not, Harry. It’s actually a very rare gift… one that has… negative connotations attached to it, unfortunately.”

 

He began to look worried, “What _sort_ of negative… things?”

 

She nodded down to his wand, “Ones that make your wand even more… curious.”

 

Now he began to look afraid, “Does this mean that I…”

 

She bent down to him, “It doesn’t mean _anything_ about _you_. Not really. It means that… that you really might have a connection to… to that _horrible_ creature that hurt you. That, in and of itself, is neither good nor bad; but you _should_ keep it in mind. If something especially troubling happens to you, _please_ let me know _immediately_ so that I can help you. Do you understand?”

 

He hugged her, “I understand. Thank you.”

 

“Of course, my darling.” She held him tight for a moment. Then she stood up again, “Come on, we need to get the rest of your school supplies before it’s time to catch the train.”

 

“The train?”

 

She smiled, “The Hogwarts Express.”

 

Their last stop was at the pet store, where Harry chose a snowy white owl that he named Hedwig. Pleased, they headed to the train station with the supplies in tow.

 

“I don’t understand… this says platform 9 ¾.” Harry said, his nose scrunching up.

 

She chuckled, “You didn’t _actually_ think that a train to a wizarding school would be at one of the regular platforms, did you?”

 

He thought about it a moment, then smiled and shook his head, “No, I suppose not.”

 

She winked and showed him to the column that led to the platform.

 

“Why are we stopping here?” He asked.

 

She gave him a mischievous grin and asked, “Why did the chicken cross the road?” Before he could answer she ran through the brick column.

 

After staring, shocked, for a moment he ran through as well.

 

Faith beamed at him when she saw him come through and said, “Welcome to Platform 9 ¾!”

 

He laughed, “This is great!”

 

“Oh, you haven’t seen _anything_ yet!” She said giddily. “Come along!”

 

But they’d barely walked a few steps before the Weasleys began popping through the gateway. Faith groaned. It wasn’t that she didn’t _like_ the Weasleys. She _loved_ them, she really did. But _every time_ she saw Molly, she…

 

“Faith!” Molly said, wrapping her in a bear hug.

 

“Hello Molly…” Faith said, slightly winded as she returned the hug.

 

Molly released her and looked at her sympathetically, “How are you, dear? Are you holding up alright? You look thin… you’re not…”

 

“I’m _fine_ Molly. Really, I am!” She reassured her gently.

 

Molly snorted, “Right. Well, how am I supposed to know these things when you don’t come to dinner?”

 

“It’s the first time I missed it, and I was _sick_. You have 7 children; did you really want them _all_ to have a cold?” Faith said, hand on hip.

 

Molly sniffed, “No… but you could’ve let me bring you soup.”

 

“I already had soup.”

 

“But not _my_ soup! It could have made you well in time for dinner!”

 

Faith sighed, at times like this it was best to just agree with her. “Yes, ma’am. I’ll keep it in mind next time.”

 

“See that you do! Honestly, when I think about you all alone in that house all summer long when you could come stay with us instead…”

 

“I’m a grown woman, Molly. I can take care of myself…”

 

“Well, that’s debatable…” Molly said, crossing her arms. “Anyway, if you’d shown up, you would have known that I met the _nicest_ young man and I’d like you to meet him…”

 

This was getting out of hand… “Molly, I’d like you to meet my Godson…”

 

Molly looked down and noticed Harry for the first time, “Harry Potter!” Molly cooed.

 

Molly, Ron, Percy, George and Ginny all crowded around Harry. But Fred stayed back and smirked, “You really should just let Mum have her way. It would save us all a lot of trouble.”

 

“Thank you for your wise council, Fred. Tell me, have you stocked up your supplies or are you going to swindle me into helping you research new pranks again?” Faith asked, raising an eyebrow and crossing her arms.

 

“Don’t act like you don’t enjoy helping us. After all, you gave us that map last year…” Fred said with a grin.

 

“I will thank you not to mention that with your mother nearby. I’d never hear the end of it. Besides, I already explained to you that that map is a _loan_ ; and I only leant it to you because that’s what the Marauders would have wanted.”

 

“When are you going to tell us more about them, by the way?”

 

“I’ve already told you enough.” She said with a glare.

 

“Fine,” Fred said with an eyeroll. Then he went to his brother and started talking to Harry as well.

 

Faith smiled, glad they seemed to be getting along. “Hey, Molly! Would you mind looking after Harry for a bit? I need to get back to Hogwarts.”

 

Harry seemed heartbroken, “You’re _leaving_?!?”

 

Faith didn’t know whether to feel bad or flattered, “Harry… I’m going to the same place you are! You’ll see me when you get to the school. I couldn’t very well ride the train with you, now could I?”

 

Harry frowned and looked down, “I guess not…”

 

She sighed and hugged him, “None of that… trust me, we’ll be spending so much time together that you’ll get sick of me.”

 

He hugged her back, “I doubt that…”

 

She smiled and kissed the top of his head, “Be a good boy, now. I’ll see you at Hogwarts.”

 

He smiled back, if weakly, “See you at Hogwarts.”

 

She gave him one more kiss to the forehead and then went off to find her motorcycle.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [My Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/bofurandori)


	16. Scars, Quidditch, and Trolls oh my!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I like to think that I've got determination, and I'm fiercely protective of the people I love.   
> \- Andrew Lincoln

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters. I am not making any money off of this.

“Excuse me… what?” Faith asked Harry, blinking.

 

“My scar… when I saw Professor Snape, my scar started hurting.” Harry said, clearly distressed.

 

Faith rubbed the feathered part of her quill against her lips as she considered what she’d just been told. Finally, she carefully asked, “Who else was near Professor Snape at the time?”

 

Harry blinked, “Just Professor Quirrell…”

 

Faith’s face darkened slightly, “I see. Well, I’ll look into it. But, for now, you really should get some sleep. It wouldn’t do for you to miss curfew on your first night.”

 

“You mean, you don’t know what’s happening?” Harry asked, clearly disappointed.

 

She sighed and gave him a gentle look, “Harry… there’s never been _anyone_ like you… _ever_. You’re the boy who lived; it’s a burden you shouldn’t have to bear, but like it or not there are going to be… certain implications from it. If your scar is hurting you, then we need to figure out _why_ ; and I _will_ figure it out. But for now, there’s nothing to do; so you might as well focus on the business of being _Harry._ Alright?”

 

He didn’t seem very happy with this answer, but accepted it anyway, “Alright…”

 

She smiled and cupped his cheek, “Harry, you’re not alone; and when I say that I’m going to do something, I do it. You can trust me, I promise.”

 

He smiled and hugged her, “I trust you.”

 

She kissed his forehead, “Good. Now, get back to Gryffindor. I’ve got some researching to do.” Before he got too far away she shouted out, “Oh! By the way, a word of advice.”

 

Harry turned around.

 

“When you go to your first potions class, don’t take notes while he’s giving his opening speech. He’ll assume you’re not paying attention and it’ll be bad; especially since you’re a Gryffindor. Best course of action would be to make as much eye contact as possible, with a fascinated look on your face. Let me see the look.”

 

Harry made a face.

 

“Wider eyes.”

 

Harry opened his eyes a bit wider.

 

“Good, now smile just a bit more…”

 

Harry did so.

 

“Perfect! He’ll eat that up. Oh! And take this.” She got a book of basic potion formulations and handed it to him, “Look this over. You might need it. Promise me you’ll do what I’m saying.”

 

“I promise.”

 

“Pinky swear?” She said, lifting her pinky finger.

 

He wrapped his pinky finger around hers, “I promise.”

 

She smiled, “Good, now you can go.”

 

He smiled back, “Goodnight Faith!”

 

“Goodnight Harry!”

 

“You told him something, didn’t you?” Severus asked, slamming his hands on her desk.

 

She blinked at him, “What are you talking about?”

 

 “I’m talking about how Harry Potter knew _exactly_ how to get on my good side!” He said, crossing his arms and narrowing his eyes at her.

 

“Maybe he’s just a good student, did you think about that?”

 

“Don’t play games with me! I know you’re not telling me something.”

 

“All I told him was that he didn’t need to take notes during your opening speech and to brush up on his potion formulas.” Faith said, crossing her arms and meeting his glare defiantly.

 

He raised an eyebrow, “That’s it?”

 

“That’s it.” She said earnestly.

 

He looked deeply into her eyes and she knew he was trying to read her mind. It made her want to roll her eyes in irritation. As the researcher for the Order of the Pheonix Albus had made a point of teaching her Occlumency, a skill she’d taken to surprisingly easily. She’d become somewhat skilled during her days in the Order, but Albus had continued her lessons these 10 years and now she was something of an expert. All Severus would see was what she’d told him; and besides, the small bit she wasn’t going to let him see wouldn’t do him any harm. She wanted Severus and Harry to get along, and Faith knew that it would have been what Lily wanted too. As for what James would have wanted… well, she would have ignored that bit even if he were alive.

 

Severus finally gave up and sighed, “Fine!” He glared at her.

 

She smirked triumphantly, then frowned, “By the way, I wanted to ask you something.”

 

He gave her a curious look and a nod.

 

“Do you know why Harry’s scar might have hurt him when he looked at you? Do you think it might have something to do with your dark mark?”

 

“No. I noticed that it pained him too, and I suspect it’s because Quirrell was right next to me. He’s up to something, I can feel it. Whatever it is, it involves Dark Magic.”

 

“Do you have any idea what it could be?” Faith asked, looking uneasy at the prospect.

 

“Not yet. But I’ll find out soon enough.”

 

“Alright… please keep me informed.”

 

“Of course.”

 

After a moment, she warily asked, “How are we going to stop him from hurting Harry, if that’s his goal?”

 

Severus sighed, “I don’t know… we just need to keep an eye on him.”

 

“I suppose…” Faith sighed, not feeling satisfied with that answer.

 

“How could you have told Harry that he could play Quidditch? He’s a first year! Nobody plays Quidditch in their first year, he’s too _small_! It’s one of the most dangerous games in the world, and an 11-year-old _should not_ be playing it!” Faith yelled at Minerva, clearly livid.

 

“He’ll be alright! Potter has natural ability, the likes of which I’ve never seen before.” Minerva said, trying to preen and soothe her at the same time.

 

“Gifted or not, you shouldn’t have done this! Are you really so blinded by your desire to win against Slytherin that you’ll put an innocent child at risk?”

 

“Young lady, I do _not_ like your tone!” Minerva said, stiffening.

 

“And I don’t like your complacency! This is my 11-year-old godson you’re talking about! You didn’t even ask me about it before you told him that he was your new seeker; or even tell me about it afterwards! I only found out because he rushed to the library to tell me about it!”

 

“Okay, I admit that my decision might have been a bit short sighted…”

 

“A _bit_?!?”

 

“But I still feel that it was the right decision!” Minerva said, in a tone that said she expected Faith to back down at this point.

 

It wasn’t going to happen. “Of course you do! He’s not _yours_ to look after! Same as Albus! Everyone around Harry is making decisions about what his life should entail, but nobody is thinking about what’s good and _healthy_ for him! He’s a child, and he’s been through so much already… can’t he at least have one year where he can rest, and just be a little boy? Hasn’t he earned that?”

 

“Miss Howell, you’re overreacting!” Minerva said with a glare.

 

“No, I’m not! And I swear, if he gets injured while doing this I’m holding you personally responsible.” Faith said, her lip quivering with anger. With that, she turned and walked away before she said something she’d regret.  

 

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart.” Faith cooed to Hermione, as she leaned against the stall door where the girl was crying. “Sometimes… sometimes a person’s pride makes them say terrible things.”

 

“But he’s right! I _don’t_ have any friends!” Hermione wailed.

 

“You don’t? My… then what on earth am _I_ doing here?” Faith asked, raising a brow.

 

“You don’t count… you’re a teacher. You’re _supposed_ to be nice to me.”

 

“Actually, I’m a _librarian_. My job is to keep track of books, help students find said books, and make sure people stay quiet in the library. Nowhere in my job description does it say to be nice to anybody; that bit, my dear, is my pleasure. Especially when it comes to brilliant young witches such as yourself.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Really. Listen, I know that being different can be hard. But knowledge… knowledge is the greatest of riches; and seeking it is the best treasure hunt one can take part in. You are so _very_ clever, Miss Granger. I just know that you’ll do great things someday, and I can’t wait to see them. But until that time, don’t _ever_ be ashamed of who you are; because you’re wonderful. And anyone that can’t see what a treasure you are isn’t worth your time, anyway. Just be yourself, and you’ll make the friends you’re _supposed_ to have.”

 

She heard Hermione stand up and go toward the door, so Faith stood up so that she could get out. When she did, Hermione ran into Faith’s arms for a hug. “Thank you, Miss Howell.”

 

Faith hugged her back, “You’re very welcome.”

 

But then she heard a loud booming noise, and put Hermione behind her. Faith raised her wand and felt her heart turn cold with fear at the sight of a mountain troll coming toward them. She swallowed hard, and desperately tried to remember the correct spell to combat a troll. But before she could do anything, the troll smacked her so hard that she slammed against the wall; and was knocked unconscious.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [My Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/bofurandori)


	17. Honesty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people.”   
> ― Virginia Woolf

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters. I'm not making any money off of this.

When Faith woke up she was in the hospital wing, surrounded by flowers and gifts, and every inch of her body was in searing pain. It was night time, and Severus was asleep in the chair next to her bed. She weakly said, “Hello.”

 

He woke up instantly, head snapping towards her, to give her a menacing glare, “What. The. _Fuck_. Is. Wrong. With. You?”

 

She blinked at him dazedly, “What do you mean?”

 

“I _mean_ that you got batted around like a catnip mouse by a _mountain troll_! What were you _thinking_? Why were you accompanying Miss Granger on such a foolish errand instead of getting her to safety?”

 

Faith sighed, he’d completely lost her. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

 

“You went with Miss Granger to try and stop a mountain troll! Then the damn thing smacked you across the room before you could subdue it. You literally broke every bone in your body, and had internal bleeding! You’ve been out cold for nearly 2 weeks while Madame Pomfrey has been healing you. You’re just lucky she _could_ heal you in time. You could have died!”

 

“Is Miss Granger alright?” Faith asked, suddenly worried. She didn’t see the girl anywhere.

 

“Miss Granger is _fine_! So are Mr. Potter and Mr. Weasley…”

 

Faith tried to sit up at that, but it only caused her pain. “Harry and Ron were there? For Merlin’s sake, _why_?”

 

“They wanted to help Miss Granger… You really don’t remember, do you?”

 

Apparently, the children had come up with a lie to explain the situation. Oh well, it was easy enough to help them out. “I don’t remember any of that. I’m sorry.”

 

He rolled his eyes, “Fine!” Then he gave her a long look, and finally his anger turned into sympathy. “How are you feeling?”

 

“Like I got hit by a mountain troll…” She chuckled.

 

He shook his head, “Gryffindors…”

 

The next day Harry, Ron, and Hermione came to see Faith first thing. Madame Pomfrey had to warn them against hugging her, since that was clearly their intention at first. “She’s still very fragile, so no hugs for a few days.”

 

They agreed, but it clearly saddened them.

 

Harry came up to her, looking upset, “Are you alright?”

 

She smiled, “I’ll be alright soon, Harry. Don’t worry. I’m just glad you three are safe, I was worried about you.”

 

“We’re fine.” Harry said, smiling half-heartedly.

 

“I’m so sorry that you got hurt because of me, Miss Howell!” Hermione sniffed.

 

Faith smiled benignly at her, “I’d much rather get hurt trying to protect you, than be safe while you’re in danger.” She laughed painfully, “Though I turned out to be a rather poor protector.” She looked at them curiously, “By the way… what happened with the troll?”

 

The children explained the situation to her, and she could tell that the three had made friends at last.

 

She smiled at them and said, “Well, I’m glad everything turned out alright.”

 

“Harry, I was wondering if you’d like to come stay with me during Christmas break?” Faith asked as Harry helped her put books away.

 

Harry brightened up immediately, “Yes please!”

 

She smiled at him, “Good!”

 

Faith and Harry walked together to her house in Hogsmede. Harry was carrying Hedwig, who seemed perfectly content with the arrangement, and Faith was carrying Harry’s luggage.

 

Faith smiled down at Harry, “By the way, Mrs. Weasley would like us to come to dinner on Christmas Eve. Does that sound good to you?”

 

Harry beamed, “Absolutely!”

 

Faith chuckled, “Good, because Mrs. Weasley is an _excellent_ cook… and I would never hear the end of it if we didn’t go.”

 

Harry laughed, then looked up at her curiously, “How do you know the Weasleys, anyway? I mean, originally. Ron said that he’s known you his entire life.”

 

“Well, Harry, I know it might come as a shock to you… but I haven’t been a librarian my entire life. Once upon a time, I was the head of the Muggle Liason office at the Ministry of Magic. You know what the Ministry of Magic is, right?”

 

He nodded, “Yes, Ron told me about it.”

 

Faith nodded, “As you probably know, Ron’s father Arthur Weasley works in the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts office. Well, our two offices worked quite closely together (as you can imagine) and that’s how I met Arthur. He was always very kind to me and at one point he invited me and… and my boyfriend, at the time, to dinner. We hit it off, and the rest is history.”

 

Harry looked at her curiously, “But… why don’t you work at the Ministry anymore?”

 

Faith sighed softly and said, “Because… because, after the death of your parents I…” She might as well tell him. If she didn’t talk about Sirius, she would feel like she was lying to Harry… and she refused to do that. “My boyfriend, fiancée at that point… he was friends with your parents, same as me. In fact, he was your Dad’s best friend…”

 

Harry went wide eyed, “Really?”

 

“Really.”

 

“What was his name?”

 

Faith swallowed hard, “His name… was Sirius… Sirius Black.”

 

“What happened to him?” Harry asked, gently.

 

“Like I said, he was your Dad’s best friend… and when Headmaster Dumbledore let your parents know that you were in danger, he recommended they use a Fidelius charm. It’s a very powerful protection spell, and requires the use of a secret keeper; someone the people under the spell’s protection trust implicitly not to give out their location. They chose Sirius as their secret keeper.”

 

“And?” He urged.

 

“And… well, I’ve told you what happened to your parents.” Faith said quietly.

 

Harry went wide eyed, then his face twisted with rage, “So… so he _betrayed_ them?”

 

Faith sighed, “I don’t know, Harry… After what happened… he went chasing after a man named Peter Pettigrew, another friend of ours, who he’d insinuated to me was the one to blame. But instead of catching him… Sirius killed Peter… or at least that’s what they tell me. Afterward, he was locked up in Azkaban (wizarding prison).”

 

“But… what does that have to do with you losing your job at the Ministry?”

 

“Well… after what happened, everyone was looking for answers. They questioned me a great deal, but I… I didn’t really have anything to tell them. I told them that I’d never seen any signs of him being aligned with He-who-must-not-be-named, and that I didn’t believe he would do such a thing. Which I didn’t…”

 

“What about now?”

 

“What _about_ now?”

 

“Do you still think he’s innocent?”

 

She sighed, “I don’t know what I believe about him, Harry. All I know is that in one night nearly everyone I cared about was taken from me, one way or another…” She looked down at him, “Including you. And afterward, they decided that I clearly didn’t have the intelligence or strength of will needed for my position, and fired me. That’s when Dumbledore asked me to come work for him at Hogwarts. The Weasleys were amongst the few people that believed in my innocence… they’ve been very good to me, and I’m exceedingly grateful to them.”

 

After a few moments of Harry looking introspective, he leaned against Faith, “I believe you, Faith…”

 

She smiled and wrapped an arm around him, “Thank you… that means a great deal to me.”

 

When they got to Faith’s house they were greeted by Kreacher. “Who’s this, Mistress Howell?”

 

“This is my Godson, Harry Potter. He’s going to be staying with us for a while.” Faith said.

 

Kreacher held out his hand, “Nice to meet you, Harry Potter. Would you like anything? Hot chocolate, perhaps?”

 

Harry brightened, “Yes, please!”

 

“Right away, then. And what about you, Mistress Howell?”

 

“Some Earl Grey, please.” Faith smiled at him.

 

“It will be out shortly!” Kreacher said, walking to the kitchen.

 

“What…” Harry began to ask.

 

“He’s a house elf. Incredibly powerful and clever magical creatures that have helped and protected wizarding families for generations. Unfortunately, they’re forced to obey whatever orders their… well… they’re referred to as ‘Masters’ and ‘Mistresses’ but I’m not overly fond of that. They can be set free by being presented with clothes. I offered to set Kreacher free, but he wouldn’t hear of it. So, he stays here with me and helps around the house.”

 

“How did he come to live with you?”

 

“I inherited him… from Sirius.” She said quietly.

 

Harry thought about it for a moment, “Well… I’m glad he’s with you now.”

 

She smiled at him, “Come on, I’ll show you to your room.” She led him upstairs to the guest bedroom, which she’d filled with things that she thought he’d like including several Quidditch posters.

 

Harry looked around in awe, “This is _my_ room?”

 

She chuckled, “Of course! Do you like it?”

 

He nodded eagerly, “Yes!” He hugged her, “Thank you!”

 

She hugged him back, “You’re welcome!”

 

“Your drinks are ready!” Kreacher shouted up at them. “Would you like Kreacher to bring them up to you?”

 

“No, we’ll be right down.” Faith said, laying Harry’s luggage down and waiting for Harry to set Hedwig on the stand she’d provided for her cage. When Hedwig was settled comfortably, Harry took Faith’s hand and she led him downstairs.  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [My Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/bofurandori)


	18. Christmas (WARNINGS APPLY)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Depression is the most unpleasant thing I have ever experienced. . . . It is that absence of being able to envisage that you will ever be cheerful again. The absence of hope. That very deadened feeling, which is so very different from feeling sad. Sad hurts but it's a healthy feeling. It is a necessary thing to feel. Depression is very different.”   
> ― J.K. Rowling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS DESCRIPTIONS OF DEPRESSION AND SUICIDAL IDEATION. PLEASE DO NOT READ IF THIS WILL TRIGGER YOU IN ANY WAY! 
> 
> I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters. I am not making any money off of this.

_Sirius gently ran his fingers up Faith’s arm as they laid together in bed. Faith smiled lazily at him and whispered, “Happy Christmas.”_

_He smiled back, “Happy Christmas, love.”_

_She snuggled up to him, and he wrapped her tightly in his arms, “What time are we going to the Potters’?”_

_“Hmm… 4 o’clock. They wanted time to enjoy Harry’s first Christmas and I wanted time to spoil my fiancée…” He said, growling the last bit as he nuzzled and kissed her neck._

_She sighed happily, her hands roaming down to give his butt a proper squeeze, “Good idea…”_

_He laughed and nipped her ear, “Cheeky monkey...”_

_She giggled, “Pookie bear...”_

_“Blossom butt...”_

_“Sugar puff…”_

_“Huggalump…” Sirius was nearly shaking with laughter._

_Faith snorted, “What does that even **mean**?”_

_He shrugged, “No idea…” He grinned and gave her a kiss before tickling her mercilessly._

_“You bastard!” Faith squealed with laughter._

_“Say you love me!”_

_“No! You’re a bastard!”_

_“Come on… say it!”_

_“Fine! I love you… stop it!”_

_He stopped tickling her and wrapped her in his arms, “Now, say it like you mean it.” He looked at her adoringly._

_She cupped his cheek and smiled into his eyes, “I love you. Very much.”_

_He grinned, then leaned down and kissed her._

Faith opened her eyes, returning to reality as her eyes met her dark, empty bedroom. For a moment, she curled into herself; breathing deeply to try and calm herself, a skill she had perfected in the days when she’d had to come to terms with the room’s emptiness. When she’d had to come to terms with her life’s emptiness. Two of her dearest friends were dead, her Godson had been taken from her, the love of her life was forced to suffer in Azkaban for the rest of his days, one of their friends had likely framed her love (and then committed suicide), and the final blow had been her cousin and _best friend_ abandoning her so as not to _burden her_ with his… support? Love? Familiar presence? She knew that the loss of their friends had been hard on him, and that being a werewolf took a unique toll, but she wasn’t entirely sure she would ever forgive Remus for leaving when she needed him the most. At that point, losing her position in the Ministry had almost seemed a natural occurrence in her trend of loss.

 

Those were dark and terrible days, when every hollow moment of her life had felt like torture. First there had been incredible pain, then… a sort of all-consuming numbness that she hadn’t been able to shake. Faith had… simply… not been able to feel anything. She hadn’t felt her sadness anymore, true, but she hadn’t been able to feel happy either; all that was left was guilt, paranoia, and irritation compounded with an overwhelming exhaustion.

 

Depression was a surreal experience. Nothing had interested her anymore. She hadn’t wanted (or had the attention span) to read, or go on long walks, or do… anything, really. She’d simply existed, but barely. Somehow, though, she’d managed to convince everyone around her that she was alright; to the point that nobody had noticed her slipping away.

 

After months of depression, she’d begun to romanticize the idea of ending her existence. It hadn’t been that she’d wanted to _die_ , she’d simply not wanted to _exist_ anymore. At that point, living was an insufferable task that didn’t seem worth the effort; and the thought of being forced to survive into old age was absolute torture. After a while, she’d even convinced herself that it wouldn’t really matter if she killed herself; that the only people who would care if she died would be her parents, and they could yell at her in the afterlife if they wanted.

 

Then, one day, she’d picked up a bottle of doxycide that Kreacher had left in the kitchen. After staring at it for a few minutes, Kreacher walked in and saw what she was holding. He’d slowly crept up to her, before gently taking the bottle out of her hands. For a moment, neither had said anything; and the silence had been deafening. But then she’d whispered, “Kreacher… help me.”

 

He’d taken her hand and said soothingly, “Kreacher will protect Faith Howell.” Before he’d apparated her to St. Mungo’s. She’d been observed for two nights before she’d been sent home with an antidepressant potion and Kreacher under orders to keep an eye on her; which had only been the beginning of her long, treacherous road to recovery. These days she met Madame Pomfrey once a week to observe her condition, and Kreacher considered ensuring that she took her medicine as his solemn duty.

 

Right on cue Kreacher came in holding her morning cup of St. John’s wort tea with 3 drops of her potion. “Faith Howell must drink her tea now.”

 

She smiled at him, “Right, thank you Kreacher.”

 

He nodded and watched as she drank every drop. When she was done, he took the cup and said, “Faith Howell was upset this morning.” It wasn’t a question.

 

“Yes, but I’m fine now. Really.” Faith replied, but Kreacher didn’t seem convinced. “I just had an… upsetting dream.”

 

Kreacher nodded, “Very well. Harry Potter is eating breakfast, you might want to join him. It is Christmas, after all.”

 

“Alright, I’ll be down in a moment.” She said, watching him leave. She smiled slightly, finding it funny that Molly considered her “alone” when she had Kreacher to watch over her. As rough as their beginnings had been, Kreacher was now her dearest and most trusted companion (aside from Poe, of course). He seemed to be fond of her, as well, and had never given her cause to question his loyalty. She suspected that was largely because over the years she’d given him every comfort that he would allow her to provide. He now had a room and bed of his own, regular meals, could come and go as he pleased, had as many days off as he liked (not that he took advantage of it), and Faith regularly asked if he would like her to free him. He always said no, but in recent years seemed to appreciate the gesture. She’d attempted to give him a wage, but he wouldn’t let her do that either. Faith would’ve liked to give him warmer clothes, but knew that was out of the question.

 

Faith quickly dressed and went downstairs to find Harry gobbling up a full English breakfast. He smiled at her through his mouthful, “Morning!”

 

She chuckled, “Good morning, darling.” She sat down and began to serve herself.

 

After breakfast, they went into the sitting room and opened presents. Molly had sent them both jumpers, Harry had seemed delighted and Faith had attempted to join in his excitement (even though she had 10 now); Faith had given him new clothes, a pair of binoculars, and several types of candy. “Lily” had given him a photo album of pictures from when he was a baby, her pregnancy, her wedding to James, as well as some of their time at Hogwarts. “James” had given him his invisibility cloak, which Harry was understandably awed by, and his old snitch. Faith had more things of theirs for Harry, but they weren’t quite as epic, and she would give them to him over his next few birthdays and Christmases.

 

Harry hugged Faith tight, “This is my best Christmas ever! Thank you so much!”

 

“I’m glad,” Faith said, smiling, before she kissed his cheek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [My Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/bofurandori)
> 
> [Suicide Prevention Lifeline](https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org)
> 
> [International Association for Suicide Prevention resources](http://www.iasp.info/resources/)


	19. Parents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Being a mother is an attitude, not a biological relation.”   
> ― Robert A. Heinlein

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Harry Potter, or any of its characters. I am not making any money off of this.

Faith brought out the beef tenderloin and set it down with the potatoes, turnips, brussels sprouts, and fresh baked bread as everyone looked on hungrily. Mr. Howell was smiling and said, “This looks lovely, poppet. You’re really getting good at this.” He smiled at his wife, “Do you remember some of the atrocious things she used to make for us? Absolutely ghastly!”

 

“Yes, well, she _was_ 5 years old darling.” Mrs. Howell said, with a slightly reproachful look. Then she smiled at her daughter, “But he’s right, this is absolutely wonderful. Thank you for hosting us this year.” She ruffled Harry’s hair affectionately, “And to finally have _you_ here, you charming boy! You remind me so much of your parents…” She sniffed, slightly. “It warms my heart.”

 

“We were all very upset when you couldn’t come home with Faith. And we’re all very relieved to finally have you back where you belong,” Mr. Howell said, smiling.

 

Harry grinned, “I’m very happy to be here, sir.”

 

Mr. Howell smiled, “You can call me Grandpa, if you’d like.”

 

“And me, Grandma.” Mrs. Howell said kindly.

 

“Really?” Harry said, wide eyed.

 

Mrs. Howell chuckled, “Of course!”

 

Harry grinned, “Alright… Grandma.” He smiled at Mr. Howell, “Grandpa.”

 

Mr. Howell winked, “That’s the spirit.” He looked over at Faith, who was serving herself some roast, “Too bad you won’t have any God-siblings. Since my daughter decided to invest all her affection in that no good son of a…”

 

“Barnard Howell!” Mrs. Howell yelled.

 

Mr. Howell took a deep breath, “Sorry, Leanne my love.” He looked at Faith, “And I’m sorry, Poppet. You’re my darling girl, and I just want you to be happy.”

 

“I know, Dad. Please don’t worry, I’m fine.” Faith said, gently.

 

The next day, everyone went to the Burrow for the day. Harry immediately went upstairs with Ron; Barney and Leanne went to sit with Arthur and answer his questions about the Muggle world; and Faith went into the kitchen with Molly. “So, how’s Harry been?”

 

“You mean… for the past 3 days since you saw him last?” Faith asked, her brow furrowing in confusion.

 

Molly chuckled, “I’m being polite, sweetheart. Besides, you’re new to this. I thought you might want to talk about it.”

 

Faith smiled, “Right… sorry. Harry is wonderful. An absolute darling, really. I just wish I could be a better mother to him. Lily… Lily was amazing, so was James. They were made to be parents. Me… I don’t know. I don’t think I’m doing it right.”

 

Molly looked at her sympathetically, “Do you love him?”

 

“Of course!” Faith said, looking offended.

 

“Are you feeding him?”

 

“Yes…”

 

“Clothing him?”

 

“Yes…”

 

“Giving him a safe, comfortable, clean place to live?”

 

“Yeah…”

 

“Giving him hugs and emotional support? Answering his questions when you can?”

 

Faith nodded.

 

Molly gave Faith a warm hug, then smiled at her, “Then you’re doing it right. Truth is, nobody knows what they’re doing when it comes to parenting. You just do the best you can.”

 

“Really?”

 

Molly nodded, “Really.”

 

Harry and Ron ran into the room, “Can we have some chocolate biscuits?”

 

“You’ll ruin your dinner!” Molly said firmly.

 

They looked at Faith, “Please?”  


Faith smiled, chuckled, then shook her head. “Not my kitchen, not my rules.”

 

“Can I have chocolate biscuits when we get home, then?” Harry asked.

 

Faith winked at him.

 

Harry grinned and ran off with Ron.

 

Molly gave Faith a look, “You’re going to spoil him.”

 

“Harry is impossible to spoil.” Faith said, indignantly.

 

“Hagrid… you know that I love that you share your love of animals with the children. But, really, you need to figure out a way to keep them safe while you do it. Norbert bit Ron, what did you think was going to happen?” Faith said, gently.

 

“I don’t know… I’m sorry, Fay.” Hagrid said, looking ashamed.

 

She smiled and poured him some tea, “Don’t be sorry, Hagrid. I know you didn’t mean for anyone to get hurt. But please keep it in consideration. These are children, and as much as you want to be involved with them and nurture their interests; they need to be protected.”

 

“I understand.” Hagrid said, smiling. “But he was a lovely dragon.”

 

Faith smiled, “Still is, I’d imagine. He’ll be happier with his own kind. Safer, too. You know that. Dragons need a lot more space then we have here to live full, happy lives. Besides, I’m sure that Charley will let you visit.”

 

Hagrid brightened up, “That’s true!”

 

Faith smiled, “See! Everything will be alright. You’ll see.”

 

Faith sat by Harry’s hospital bed, combing her mind for how she could have missed what was going on. Sure, she’d told the kids about Nicholas Flammel, his stone, and any other questions they had. How had she not connected the dots? How had she not understood what was going on with Harry?

 

Harry’s eyes fluttered open, and he smiled at her. “Hi, Mum.” He blushed and sat up slightly, “Oh, I mean… Faith.”

 

She thought about it long and hard for a moment, then smiled, “You can call me Mum, if you like.” She didn’t think Lily would mind. “Might as well, you’re going to be staying with me from now on.”

 

He went wide eyed, then grinned, “Really?!?”

 

She nodded, “Yes, really. Albus and I talked it over, and he agreed that we could make my house safe enough for you. We’ve already discussed it with the Dursleys, and they’ve sent your things over. So, you’re all mine.”

 

“Finally!” Harry said with a laugh.

 

She smiled, then her face turned stern.

 

Harry looked at her sheepishly, “You’re mad at me, aren’t you?”

 

“I am, and have been, deeply worried about you. You nearly got yourself killed. And why, might I ask, didn’t you tell me anything about the situation? Didn’t it occur to you that I might be able to help? Maybe in a way that didn’t put your life in imminent danger?”

 

“I’m sorry, I just didn’t want you to get hurt.” Harry said.

 

Faith rolled her eyes, “I’ve literally survived a war, Harry. I can survive helping you fix your problems.”

 

Harry smiled, “Okay…”

 

“So, you’ll tell me next time you’re suspicious that something unsavory is going on?”

 

“Yes, I promise.”

 

She smiled, “Good, that’s all I want.”

 

Albus came in, smiling; And for the first time in a long time, Faith was simply happy to see him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [My Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/bofurandori)


	20. Unwelcome flirting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “In many a case, the phrase ‘I’d like to get to know you better’ is a euphemism for ‘I want us to fuck.”   
> ― Mokokoma Mokhonoana

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters. I am not making any money off of this.

Faith wasn’t a fool. When Harry didn’t receive any letters from his friends, she knew something was wrong. Sure, they saw the Weasleys regularly enough that it wasn’t unusual that he wouldn’t receive any from them. But she thought it highly unlikely that Hermione wouldn’t have sent any. So, she asked Kreacher to keep an eye on the situation for her.

 

Which was how she found herself standing face to face with an elf named Dobby. She already knew the basics from Kreacher. Dobby was an elf bound to the Malfoy family, and he was trying to keep Harry from going back to Hogwarts next year. Harry was in the room as well, seeing as the matter involved him.

 

“Please, sit down Dobby.” Faith said, gently. She could tell that the elf was badly mistreated, as most (unfortunately) were.

 

“Yes, sit.” Harry said, smiling in a friendly manner and directing him to a comfortable chair.

 

Dobby began to tear up, and become incredibly emotional.

 

Faith went wide eyed, and waved her hands in a calming matter, “That wasn’t an order, Dobby. You don’t have to sit down if you don’t want to!” She looked at Kreacher helplessly.

 

“We didn’t mean to offend you!” Harry continued, walking closer to Dobby.

 

Dobby looked at them, “Offended? Dobby is not _offended_! Dobby has heard of the greatness of Harry Potter and Faith Howell, but _never_ has he been asked to _sit down_ by a wizard!”

 

Faith briefly wondered who had been telling Dobby about “the greatness of Harry Potter” and herself, but decided to think about it later. “Well… you’re a guest here, so it’s only fitting that we ask you to sit down.” She tried, weakly.

 

That seemed to make it worse.

 

Not knowing what else to do, she walked up and hugged the small creature, “There, there Dobby… It’s alright. No need to fret.”

 

Dobby stiffened, then relaxed in her arms, “So kind...”

 

She looked down at him, releasing her hold on the elf and stepping back, “Now, why are you trying to stop my Godson from going back to school?”

 

“Harry Potter must not return to Hogwarts! He is in great danger! They are planning the most horrible things for him!” Dobby said.

 

“Like what?” Harry asked, standing next to Faith.

 

“Oh! Dobby shouldn’t say!” He became upset, turning to grab a nearby object, Faith’s bust of Jane Austin, to bash himself with.

 

“What are you doing?!?” Faith screeched.

 

“Give me that!” Harry screamed, trying to pull the bust out of Dobby’s hands.

 

“Stop that, this instant! You’ll break Faith Howell’s favorite statue!” Kreacher said, sternly.

 

Faith looked at Kreacher, “That’s not really what I was worried about.”

 

Kreacher huffed, “It should be. He’s getting what he deserves, telling his master’s secrets…”

 

Harry finally got the statue away from him, “Now, what terrible things do you mean?”

 

“Dobby is sorry, Dobby cannot say any more. But Harry Potter must _not_ go back to Hogwarts!”

 

“Well, thank you for your concern…” Faith said, crossing her arms with a stern glare.

 

“I’m going back to Hogwarts! It’s where I belong!” Harry insisted fervently.

 

She put a hand on his shoulder, “Yes, of course you are darling.”

 

“No!” Dobby said pitifully.

 

“Yes!” Faith said, eyes narrowed. “And, by the way, I have a muggle telephone. Harry will be calling Hermione from now on, which you won’t be able to stop. Now, I really do thank you for trying to help; but unless you’d like us to help you get free or something, there’s really nothing else for you here.”

 

Dobby sighed; Then he snapped his fingers, and disappeared.

 

Faith shook her head, “Poor thing.”

 

Harry shook his head, “I’m just glad I’m not living with the Dursleys anymore. He could have started a _lot_ of trouble for me there.”

 

“Yes, well, that’s all behind you now.” Faith said, wrapping her arm around him. “Come on, I’ll get you some ice cream.”

 

“No, we are absolutely _not_ flooing to Diagon Alley!” Faith said, narrowing her eyes at Molly. “I’ll drive us, and we’ll meet you there.”

 

“Oh, come now Faith! It’s perfectly safe, as long as you say your destination clearly.” Molly said, trying to soothe her ruffled feathers.

 

“It’ll be alright Mum, really.” Harry said, smiling up at her.

 

Faith wasn’t convinced, but she couldn’t refuse that face. “Alright, just promise me you’ll annunciate!”

 

“I will!” Harry said, brightly.

 

After watching Ron use the floo; Molly ushered Harry to the fireplace, then repeated the instructions to speak clearly and held out the bowl of floo powder. But then… Harry threw the powder while saying what sounded like “diagonally”.

 

Faith slapped her hand over her eyes and groaned.

 

Molly turned to Arthur, “What was that he said?”

 

Arthur sighed, “Diagonally…”

 

Faith stomped toward the fireplace, “What did I tell you? Huh? WHAT DID I TELL YOU?” She grabbed the floo powder, “He’s not used to our world yet, and seeing his friend burst into green flame is considered off-putting to muggles!” She resisted the urge to flip Molly off as she glared and said, “Diagonally” while throwing the powder.

 

She landed in Knockturn Alley, a short distance away from a terrified Harry. She stormed up to him and wrapped her arm around him, pointing her wand at a wizard who’d been accosting him. “That was _not_ annunciation, young man!”

 

“I’m sorry, I was nervous!” Harry said, sadly.

 

“You’re a wizard, Harry. The first rule of any spell is to speak clearly, you know that!” Faith said, exasperated, as they dodged the people around them to get back to Diagon Alley.

 

They found their friends easily enough, and while Harry, Ron, and Hermione went to get their things Faith acquiesced to go with Molly, Arthur, as well as Mr. and Mrs. Granger to Flourish and Botts to find a good spot to see Gilderoy Lockhart. Faith wasn’t keen on listening to the oh-so-brave, oh-so-charming, oh-so-full of _shit_ author talk about himself; but Molly fancied him so she would try to stomach it. Honestly, even compared to Sirius and James that Lockhart fellow was an arrogant sod.

 

They managed to get a decent spot in line for the book signing; and Faith could only sigh at the large number of middle aged women there, looking like school girls in their excitement to see him. It’s not that she resented their interest in such things, but she could not understand why so many women (especially mature women) fancied such a conniving asshole. She didn’t know _how_ he did it, but she _knew_ he wasn’t doing the things he said. It was the details in his story, they simply didn’t ring true. Everything was too elegant and heroic, it wasn't _real_. Not to mention that most of the feats he insisted that he had accomplished would have taken a great deal of work and research to pull off, and none of that showed in his books. But the fact of the matter was that people _wanted_ to believe his stories, and since she didn’t have any proof to the contrary, she supposed they would continue to do so.

 

When the children finally joined them an hour later Lockhart was about to come out. When he did, everyone murmured with excitement and a photographer began enthusiastically taking pictures (stepping on poor Ron’s foot in the process).

 

“Step back! This is for the Daily Prophet!” The photographer admonished Ron.

 

Faith glared at the man, and Ron growled, “Big deal…”

 

At that moment, Lockhart looked up. First, he saw Ron. But _then_ , he saw Harry. Faith stiffened, knowing what was about to happen. Lockhart stared for a moment, then said, “It _can’t_ be _Harry Potter_!” Before leaping across the table and grabbing Harry’s arm. Faith yelped and followed them up quickly, not wanting her child to be used as attention fodder, as the crowd burst into applause.

 

Harry’s face turned red with embarrassment as Gilderoy Lockhart shook his hand for the photographers. “Nice, big smile Harry…” Lockhart said, his teeth gleaming. “Together, you and I are worth a front page!”

 

Faith stormed up to them and pulled Harry away from Lockhart and behind her, “Precisely who gave you the _right_ to touch my godson?!?” Faith hissed at him, absolutely livid.

 

He blinked at her for a moment, then turned his smile on her and said, “Well! If it isn’t Harry’s famous Godmother, Faith Howell! The Misused Maiden!” Faith cringed at the nickname the papers had given her. Lockhart stepped close to her flirtatiously and took her hand, “I’d heard tales of your beauty, but they didn’t do you justice. You’re absolutely exquisite…” He kissed her hand.

 

Faith was torn between feeling confused, since was sporting a messy bun and yesterday’s eyeliner, and wanting to vomit. “Well… thank you, but…”

 

Gilderoy threw his arms around both Faith and Harry’s shoulders and said, “Ladies and Gentlemen, what a _perfect_ moment this is!” Then began a speech about how they had wanted to purchase his autobiography, which he would be getting for free (along with all his other books) but that he also had an announcement. The announcement being that he would be filling the position as Defense Against the Dark Arts professor at Hogwarts. Faith went wide eyed, and felt as if her stomach had turned to lead. Especially when Gilderoy leaned over to her and whispered, in what she guessed was his seductive voice, “And I very much look forward to getting to know you better, my dear…”

 

If it weren’t for Harry, Faith would have gladly had the world swallow her up at that moment. But, as it was, she made a hurried excuse and ushered Harry and his pile of books out of the store (shuddering all the while). The Weasleys and Grangers followed them out and were talking excitedly. Molly, despite her crush on Lockhart, seemed over the moon at the prospect of Faith having a love affair with him. “Finally! You’ll be getting a proper man of your own! And _what a man_! Oh, I’m so happy for you!” Molly squealed, hugging her.

 

“Molly…” Faith said, weakly, and searched for a way to finish that sentence.

 

“You’re going to have _such_ beautiful babies! And he’ll be the perfect adoptive father to dear Harry, I just know it!” Molly rambled on.

 

“Molly, I just met the man! _Please_ refrain from planning the wedding just yet.” Faith said, trying not to sound like she was whining.

 

“Oh, very well! But really, you must let me know _every_ detail as it happens! I just know this is going to be wonderful for you both!” Molly said, practically hopping with excitement.

 

“Molly, darling, please leave the girl be. She’s been through a lot today, you know how much she hates being the center of attention like that.” Arthur said, trying to calm his wife.

 

“Oh, all right.” Molly conceded, letting the matter go for a moment.

 

Faith sighed with relief, shooting Arthur a grateful smile (which he returned) before having Harry put his new books in her bag.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [My Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/bofurandori)


	21. Persistance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Knowing someone isn't coming back  
> doesn't mean you ever stop waiting”   
> ― Toby Barlow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters. I am not making any money off of this.

After ensuring that Harry (along with the Weasleys) got safely onto the Hogwarts Express, Faith went back to Hogwarts for the before term staff meeting. Severus met her at the door and Faith had never been so happy to see him, to the point where she almost hugged him. Seeing him reminded her that she would, in fact, have backup against Gilderoy; which it was increasingly apparent she would need. Ever since that day at Flourish and Botts the man had been sending her enough flowers, presents, and “love” notes to congest her home. Kreacher was beside himself with annoyance at the new clutter, and she couldn’t simply burn it all and dance around it in a celebration of feminine rebellion… while Harry was there.  

 

Severus raised his eyebrow when he saw her, and despite her smile when she saw him he asked, “Why do you look so… begrudging? You’re back with your books and your dearest friend, you’re usually happy.”

 

She rolled her eyes, “Have you ever heard of a man named Gilderoy Lockhart?”

 

Severus held up a hand and whipped out a copy of the Daily Prophet, an article sporting a picture of Harry, Gilderoy, and herself on the front page. Faith cringed, having already read it herself. The main article was titled, “Boy-Who-Lived gains powerful mentor in Gilderoy Lockhart”, but there was a sub-article within it that said, “Love at Last?” which Severus began to read. “The dashing Gilderoy Lockhart was understandably enamored upon meeting the beguiling personage of Faith Howell, whose devotion to her comrades and Godson is legendary. Although that loyalty caused a petty few to suspect her of wrongdoing with her former fiancée (the contemptible Sirius Black), most of us know her to be as pure as the driven snow.” Faith rolled her eyes, making Severus snort. “The chemistry between the two was palpable, and there was a clear impression of two soul mates finally finding one another. In this reporter’s humble opinion, it shouldn’t be long before we’re treated to wedding bells and what is sure to be a timeless love story.” Severus looked up at her, “So… should I slip some poison into his tea?”

 

She smiled at him, “Thank you for asking, but I’d rather you didn’t get incarcerated.”

 

“Your concern is touching…” He said, his lips twitching in an almost smile. “But the offer stands, if you need it.”

 

“Thank you,” She said, wrapping her arm through his and putting her head on his shoulder.

 

He smiled and briefly rested his head on hers.

 

“None of that, now!” Gilderoy said, swaggering up to them. “From now on, the only arm you’ll need is this one, my dear.” Gilderoy offered her his arm, flashing his creepily perfect smile.

 

Before she could answer Gilderoy’s audacious comment, Severus glared and said, “I believe Miss Howell can choose her own companions, Lockhart. You’d do well to remember that not everyone is spellbound by your bravado and cheap pageantry.” He looked down at her, “Shall we go?”

 

She beamed up at him and said, “Absolutely!”

 

He smirked and they continued toward their meeting, Gilderoy glaring after them.

 

“Terrible business, that attack. And Filch trying to blame poor, sweet Harry and Ron for it! But don’t worry, I stood up for them!” Gilderoy said as he leaned against her desk, smiling at her as if he expected her to begin fawning over him at any second.

 

Faith hadn’t been there for the attack. Halloween was always a painful time for her, since it brought back so many memories of her friends, and since it was a Saturday she’d simply excused herself for the day. But that didn’t mean that she was ignorant to what had _actually_ happened, “Really? From what I hear, Severus was the one who defended them. You simply stated that you would have defended Mrs. Norris if you’d been there, since your abilities are so very outstanding.” She gave him a knowing look.

 

“Well… I mean…” He floundered for a moment, then smiled again. “You know I wouldn’t have let them get blamed, if Professor Snape hadn’t stepped in I would have. If anything, it’s simply a sign that our Harry is well-defended.”

 

“He is _my_ Harry, you don’t have a Harry.” Faith said curtly.

 

Gilderoy leaned forward, “Come now, Faith darling. Why must you struggle against me so?”

 

“Because I find you disgusting!” Faith said, contempt oozing from every pore.

 

He smiled as if she’d just said something flirtatious, “Just as long as you find me, dear.”

 

She was torn between absolute hatred and being mildly impressed; if he wasn’t so repulsive she would’ve found that comeback charming. Which, somehow, made it worse. She wanted to slap him; wanted to see the red imprint of her hand on his face. But Faith didn’t believe in hitting without good cause, and Gilderoy’s unwelcome advances didn’t _quite_ meet that criteria. So, instead, she said, “If you were lost in the middle of the ocean, I’d pray for a storm.”

 

He laughed, “You’re so cute! So, I was thinking we could have dinner together this Friday. I know this _amazing_ place in London…”

 

“Will you get out of my library already? I don’t want anything to do with you, _ever_.” Faith growled, losing patience.

 

He shook his head fondly, “Oh, I do _love_ when you play hard to get! And don’t worry, I won’t be driven off so easily. But I _will_ leave you for the night, if you truly wish it.” He took her hand and kissed it before she could snatch it away, rubbing the befouled hand against her skirt with a disgusted expression.

 

But, Gilderoy did leave and Faith went off to wash her hands.

 

Faith gave a long-suffering sigh, “Hermione… I’m not going to let you brew polyjuice potion.”

 

“But, Faith!” She countered, distressed.

 

Faith signaled for Hermione to follow her and they went into her office, where she unlocked a drawer and brought out three bottles of the potion. “Here you go.”

 

Hermione went wide eyed, “How… _why_ do you have that?”

 

Faith held up a hand, “Never mind why I may or may not always keep a supply of it, just say thank you. And remember, always get hair from a comb, hairbrush, or plucked directly from the person’s head. Do _not_ take it from someone’s robes. Trust me. Sirius did that once and ended up partially turning himself into a unicorn foal. The berk wound up in the hospital wing, and I had to sit by his side reassuring him that he wouldn’t be stuck with a horse face the rest of his life.” It took Faith a moment to realize that she’d just brought Sirius up in casual conversation. She smiled slightly. It felt nice to talk about him that way, like the person she’d known and not the person everyone had decided he was.

 

With a pang, she realized that she still loved him. Really, truly loved him; even after all this time. Knowing that he would never come back, never return to her as he’d said he would, didn’t change a thing. He was hers, she was his, and the fact that she knew in her heart that he was innocent wouldn’t save either of them. In that moment, the loneliness that she’d built a wall around started to seep out and it was all she could do to hold it back.

 

So, blinking back tears, she smiled at Hermione and said, “Anyway… be careful. I don’t want anything bad to happen to any of you.” With that, she gave the girl a fond hug.

 

Hermione hugged her back, “Are you alright?”

 

“Yes, of course… I’m alright as long as you’re alright.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please feel free to comment! I'm always happy to hear from you :)
> 
> [My Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/bofurandori)


	22. Not again...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Life is an awful, ugly place to not have a best friend.”  
> ― Sarah Dessen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters. I am not making any money off of this.

“Stay away from my son!” Faith hissed as Lockhart aimed his wand at Harry.

 

“Faith, darling! I was just about to fix Harry’s arm!” Gilderoy said, grinning, as she ran up.

 

She gave him a dark glare, “Do not _ever_ point your wand at my son, do you understand? _Ever_!”

 

“Come now! I have to look after my future stepson!” He said enthusiastically.

 

Faith and Harry both looked at each other then, and silently agreed that that would _never_ happen. Then Faith levitated Harry while cooing, “Come on, Harry. We’ll get you fixed up.” And with that, they left without another word to Gilderoy.

 

“So… Professor Lockhart has asked me to assist him in a demonstration for his new dueling club. As his opponent.” Severus said, as he walked in, sitting in the armchair across from her and pouring himself some tea.

 

Faith put down her book, “ _Please_ tell me that you said yes.”

 

He smirked, “Oh, I said yes alright.”

 

Faith bounced in her seat, “Oh, this is _amazing_! This is the best thing to happen to me all year!”

 

“Relax, I’m not going to _kill_ him!” Severus said, frowning over his oolong.

 

Faith rolled her eyes, “I don’t want you to _kill him_! But I _do_ want you to humiliate him with your superior skills.”

 

He smiled, “I can promise you that!”

 

“Excellent! That’s all I ask.” Faith said, pleased, as she poured herself another cup.

 

“Don’t worry, my darling. Professor Snape will still be able to dance at our wedding when I’m done with him.” Gilderoy reassured her, trying to grasp her hand for a kiss.

 

Faith could only snort at that, keeping her hand away from him. “I really don’t understand how this helps the _students_.”

 

“That’s only because you’re such a kind, gentle, and peaceful woman, my love. Oh, from the moment I met you in my first year; I just a young genius, just coming into my own and you, a deliciously beautiful fifth year; I knew you were the woman for me.”

 

She gave him an incredulous look, “We met while we were in Hogwarts?”

 

“On Valentine’s day!” He grinned, “After that _tiny_ valentine fiasco, your friends wanted to hex me for getting them buried in valentines and filling their porridge with droppings during breakfast. You stood up for me; becoming the hero’s hero, if you will.”

 

“Oh yeah… I remember now…” That year, Sirius had sent her a valentine that said her hair would never be as perfect as his, and that he also smelled better. She’d challenged him on the smelling comment, which led to… an interesting battle that had lasted _much_ too long. “Oh, if I’d only known then what I know now…”

 

He smiled, expectantly, “Yes?”

 

She gave him a steady look, “I would’ve let them hex you, you putrid waste of human skin!”

 

“This game of yours is almost becoming tiresome, my treasure.” Gilderoy said reproachfully.

 

Faith rolled her eyes, “You really are reprehensible… you know that?”

 

“Flirt… stop distracting me, I have to go duel your best friend. We’ll catch up at dinner, later tonight.” He said with a wink.

 

“Wow… reality is just an option for you, isn’t it?” Faith said with a sigh.

 

Faith hugged Harry close to her, “My poor darling…”

 

“I’m alright, Mum. Really.” Harry said, unconvincingly, as he returned the embrace.

 

“You didn’t do anything wrong. That spell creates vicious snakes that would’ve attacked that boy, especially after _Lockhart_ got done with it; you saved him! And I know that you had nothing to do with the attack in the hallway with Justin and Nick. We’ll find out what happened, I promise.”

 

“I just wanted to tell him the truth…” Harry whimpered.

 

“I know… I know… You’re a wonderful person. I’m so proud of you. I just wish that there was more I could do.”

 

He looked up at her teary eyed, “I’m just happy that you believe me.”

 

She smiled gently, “Of course I do! I know you, Harry. I know that you wouldn’t do that.”

 

Harry hugged her again and she stroked his hair, “It’ll be alright. Everything will be just fine.”

 

“I’m just sorry that I encouraged you to date that man. He sounds awful!” Molly said, serving Faith another slice of pie. “However famous you are, no means no.”

 

“Thank you, Molly…”

 

“And poor Harry!”

 

“I don’t know what to do.” Faith put her face in her hands.

 

“It’ll be alright, love. As long as he has your support, I’m sure you’ll work through it.” Molly reassured, pouring her some milk.

 

“Thanks Molly… please sit down. You’re my friend, not my mother. I already have one of those.”

 

Molly chuckled, “Alright.” She settled herself in the chair, “So how are you planning on handling this?”

 

“I’m going to try and keep Harry from being blamed for the petrifications, poisoning himself, being sucked into a plot linked to death eaters, getting inadvertently cursed by Gilderoy Lockhart… you know, the usual.”

 

Molly looked at her for a long time, then said, “Would you like some rum in your milk?”

 

“Please.”

 

Molly grabbed the bottle and poured some in her glass, “So… on a side note… how long has it been since you’ve had sex?”

 

“A _lot_ longer than you, I can tell you that much.” Faith said, snorting.

 

“No, really. How long?”

 

“I don’t want to talk about this.” Faith said, taking a long drink of her milk.

 

“ _That_ long?”

 

“Yes, alright? I’ve gone on dates, but I wasn’t interested in shagging any of them. Let’s just say that I’ve become very familiar with magical sex toys.”

 

“How are they?”

 

Faith snickered, “Magical.”

 

Molly rolled her eyes, snorted, then they laughed together.

 

Faith groaned, “Oh, Merlin, maybe I _should_ shag Gilderoy. He’s reasonably good looking and healthy…” She closed her eyes and shook her head, as if thinking of something vile. “No… not worth it. Not worth it _at all_. If the humiliation didn’t get me, finding out the sort of kinks he has probably would.”

 

Molly laughed again, “You poor thing. Are you sure that you don’t want me to fix you up with someone?”

 

“I’m sure. But, thank you for the offer.” Faith said with a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [My Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/bofurandori)
> 
> Feel free to comment! I'm always happy to hear from you!


	23. That's enough!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “The best lightning rod for your protection is your own spine.”  
> ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters. I am not making any money off of this.

“Here you go, Neville. Do you need anything else?” Faith cooed.

 

He smiled up at her, “No, thank you Ms. Howell. Thanks for finding these for me!”

 

“Of course! But… are you sure that you don’t want any help with your potions homework?” Faith asked, looking concerned. She’d heard that he’d been having trouble.

 

“Well… It wouldn’t be fair to ask you for help…” Neville said, shyly.

 

“Yes, it would. That’s my job, after all.” Faith said, smiling.

 

“Well… still… I’d like to try myself.” He said, firmly. Then he gave a small smile, “But I might ask later.”

 

She smiled back, “Alright, I’ll be right over here.”

 

When Neville opened the book, he saw that there were places bookmarked, and highlighted passages. He laughed.

 

“Oh _no_!” Faith groaned, looking at the gifts filling her office. Most were small things, the normal presents she got from students like fruit, candy, quills, flowers, etc. But the gaudy jewelry, large bouquets of roses, expensive truffles, and gigantic stuffed animals screamed of Gilderoy Lockhart. Clearly, the man had no idea who he was “courting”.

 

With Faith, the time and thought put into the present meant everything; and the flashy, expensive trinkets showed very little of that. Even during their time at Hogwarts, Sirius had delighted her with books on subjects he knew she’d like, her favorite candy (peppermint toads), and flowers. From their sixth year at Hogwarts and onwards, he’d given her “Forget-me-nots”; which she hadn’t understood until they’d gotten together and he’d told her that he’d chosen them deliberately. They meant “True and undying love”, “growing affection between two people”, and “a connection that lasts through time”. After he’d been taken away, she’d found out that they also meant “fidelity and loyalty in a relationship, despite separation and challenges” and so dried out the forget-me-nots she’d been intending to use for her bridal bouquet, harvested the seeds, and planted them in her garden in Hogsmede so that the small house was surrounded by them. Of course, she hadn’t told anyone that they had sentimental meaning and was perfectly happy to let people think they were simply her favorite flower.

 

Suddenly a dwarf dressed as a cupid came in, carrying a small sack. He dumped out a large pile of valentines from the sack, saying, “Here you go, Miss.” Most of them were clearly from students, the one from Harry stating “I love you Mum! Happy Valentine’s Day!”; but there was a large one with a great deal of glitter and enchanted with a spell that made the letters on it light up enthusiastically that was _not_ from a student.

 

Faith sighed, “Great… thank you… I think.”

 

When the cupid left, Lockhart showed up and leaned against the doorframe seductively. “Do you like the gifts? And the valentine I sent you?”

 

“They’re very… you.” Faith said, putting a hand on her hip.

 

He grinned and walked toward her, “I knew you’d like them.” He tried to take her into his arms and she stepped back.

 

“I didn’t say that.” She said coldly. “Gilderoy, I’ve had enough. I need you to leave me alone, now and forever. I am _not_ interested in you, and I never will be.”

 

“But…” Lockhart started.

 

She held up her hand, “No! I’m _done_ listening to you. Right now, you need to listen to me and leave me alone.”

 

“Okay… if that’s what you really want…” Gilderoy said, with false humility but with a clear edge of thinking she was kidding.

 

“It is! Fuck off!” Faith said harshly. At that, Gilderoy seemed to truly realize that she meant it; and looked genuinely insulted that she was rejecting him.

 

At that, Gilderoy fluttered his robes and left with a final growl of “Fine!” After that, he didn’t make advances toward her anymore.

 

Later in the day, when Gilderoy tried to embarrass Severus by mentioning love potions, Severus simply replied with, “I don’t care how nicely you ask, Lockhart, I’m not making you one.” Apparently, it had put the braggart in his place. For the moment, anyway.

 

“So… you think because this _clearly_ cursed book talks about what happened with Hagrid, that it’s a good idea to seek out an acromantula in its home?” Faith said, hand on hip.

 

Harry nodded eagerly, and Ron with clear reluctance. “It will help Hagrid and Dumbledore!” Harry replied.

 

“Harry, I hate to break it to you, but a talking book very _rarely_ brings anything but trouble. There is only one talking document that I know of which is completely benign, and I only know _that_ because I was well acquainted with the creators.”

 

Ron’s head tilted, “Which document was that?”

 

“Never mind which document it was. My point is that this book is _not_ that document.” Faith replied.

 

“But Faith! _Please_! You said that if we told you the truth you’d help!” Harry whined.

 

Faith groaned, “Fine! Fine, I’ll help. But I _don’t_ like this. I don’t like it at all.” She accio’d the books she needed and they came up with a plan together.

 

The boys had insisted they go without her, and she had reluctantly agreed. So, instead, she morphed into her animangas form of a basset hound that was white with spots the color of toffee pudding and dark green eyes (silently thanking Sirius for teaching her, even though Remus had been against it); then followed behind them. Her short dog legs had a bit of trouble keeping up with the boys, but she managed to stay close enough to know what they were doing at all times. When they got to the cave, she knew there was going to be trouble. Sure enough, after talking to Aragog (she couldn’t bloody believe there really _was_ a damn acromantula on Hogwarts grounds!) the creature’s children started to surround _her_ children! She jumped in front of them, morphed back into her human form, and pulled out her wand to cast “expecto patronum!”; causing her floppy eared patronus to begin clearing a path through the spiders so that Faith could lead them out.

 

When they were safely back at Hogwarts, Harry tried to admonish Faith for following them; but Ron quickly jumped in and said, “She saved us from being eaten by _giant spiders_ , mate. I think we can let it go this time.”

 

Harry nodded begrudgingly, “Yeah… I guess you’re right.” He looked at Faith sheepishly, “Thanks for saving us, Mum.”

 

She smiled, “You’re welcome, Harry. So, what do you want to do now that you know the truth?”

 

“So… instead of _me_ , you had Professor Lockhart accompany you?” Faith said, not sure how to take that information.

 

“He’s our DADA professor, we thought he could help!” Harry said, defensively.

 

Faith closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and counted to ten before saying, “I see your point. I’m just happy that he didn’t manage to _wipe your memories_ ; and that you two and _Ginny_ are alright. The poor girl must have been suffering terribly… that horrible monster taking control of her like that! No one should have to endear that! I don’t know what I’m going to tell your Mum about this, Ron. I really don’t. I promised I would look after all of you and I’ve failed _abysmally_.”

 

“Don’t blame yourself! There’s no way you could have known!” Ron said, giving her a hug.

 

“Yeah, Mum, everything is going to be alright!” Harry said, hugging her too.

 

“Oh, don’t comfort _me_! That’s _my_ job!” She said, wrapping them in her arms. “You poor darlings, I’m just glad you’re alright!” And that fucking Gilderoy Lockhart got… well, not what he (in her opinion) deserved, but punishment none the less. “I love you, boys. And Ron, I’m going to see about you getting a new wand.”

 

“Really?” Ron said, hopefully.

 

She winked at him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please feel free to comment! I always love hearing from you <3 
> 
> [My Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/bofurandori)


	24. "Terrible" news

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I belong to the people I love, and they belong to me--they, and the love and loyalty I give them, form my identity far more than any word or group ever could.”   
> ― Veronica Roth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters. I am not making any money off of this.

Faith stood in a white cotton button down shirt, blue jeans, and white trainers; her long brown hair flowing softly down her back, and shining in the morning light. She was listening to Sade and singing along softly as she fixed breakfast; and in that moment, Harry realized that he was completely at peace. He went up and hugged her from behind, surprising her. She laughed and put her hands on his, “What’s this?”

 

He smiled, nuzzling into her back, “Nothing… you’re the best.”

 

She smiled, saying warmly, “Why thank you, sweetheart. You’re not so bad yourself.”

 

“Where’s Kreacher?” Harry asked, curiously.

 

“He’s cleaning. I have two other residences that I’m in charge of, and he cleans them occasionally for me.”

 

“You do? Why haven’t I been to them?”

 

“Because they’re not my home, this is. The other places… one _was_ my home. A home I’d built with the most important person in my life, it was warm and safe… and I was happy there. But then… it wasn’t so warm and safe, so I left. The other one… well… I don’t know why I keep it; other than I like the idea that someday I’ll set it on fire and watch it burn. Or maybe turn it into a homeless shelter for muggles. Depends on whether I can reverse certain spells on it.” She looked down at him. “Maybe I’ll take you there someday. But… not yet. Is that alright?”

 

He nodded, “Yeah, it’s alright.”

 

She smiled, “You’re so much like your Dad, inside and out. He was… I loved him so much. He was so very warm… and brave… and generous. He made the world a better place, just by existing.” She put her hands on his face, “Just like _you_. I couldn’t have asked for a better friend, and trust me… I wasn’t the only one of his friends to think so.” She stood up and smiled, turning back to the stove to serve up breakfast. “Have I ever told you about the time your Dad and I got lost in the forbidden forest together?”

 

Harry sat at the table and shook his head eagerly, “No! What happened?”

 

She smiled and sat the fry up in front of him, before sitting down across from him with her own plate. Cutting her eggs, she said, “We were about your age at the time, actually. I’d been helping the boys find a plant in the forest, something to do with one of their pranks… I can’t remember what. I thought I’d found it, and as we went towards it we got ambushed by a bunch of angry centaurs. We all went running and eventually I wound up alone with your Dad… and a sprained ankle. So, your Dad had me climb on his back (even though I’d stubbornly insisted I was fine) as we searched for a way out. The whole time he kept saying ‘Don’t worry, Fee. I’ll get you out of this.’ Needless to say, I was skeptical at the time… but sure enough, we made our way out and he carried me back to the hospital wing; a smooth excuse on his lips.”

 

Harry laughed, grinning, “Then what happened?”

 

“Well, eventually, Remus and Sirius found their way out too and made their way up to the Hospital Wing when they heard I’d been injured. Sirius was _furious_ that I’d been alone with James and not _him_ ; he even seemed to blame James for ‘letting me get hurt’, or some similar nonsense. Thankfully, James was able to cool his wrath. Remus was just glad that we were alright, and held my hand as the potion fixed my ankle. Afterward, we all snuck into the kitchen for some biscuits.”

 

“Did you ever find the plant?”

 

“Yes, about a week later we finally got the courage to look again. It was only slightly less harrowing a trip, and Sirius tried to attach a string to my wrist to keep track of me.” She laughed, remembering it.

 

When she’d objected to being kept on a “leash”, he’d merely tugged on it and said, “Just come on, Faith! I can’t have you getting lost… _again_!”

 

She’d stiffened and shouted, “You got lost too!”

 

“That’s not the point!” He’d argued, “At least, this way, you’ll get lost with _me_ and _I_ can protect you!”

 

At that point, Remus had come up and cut the string from her wrist with a glare at Sirius.

 

Harry laughed, “Tell me another!”

 

And, of course, she did.

 

When Minerva showed up at the door, at first Faith was delighted. Arms outstretched, she happily embraced her beloved mentor. But when Minerva hugged her a bit too firmly, she knew something wasn’t right. “What’s happened?” She asked, worried something might have happened to Albus.

 

Minerva looked distraught, “Sit down, my sweet girl. I’m afraid that this won’t be easy to hear.”

 

Faith did, and her eyes widened, “Has something happened to Albus?!? Is he alright, can I see him?”

 

Minerva shook her head, “No, no, nothing like that. Albus is fine, he… he expects you for tea tomorrow, actually.”

 

Faith cocked her head, “Severus is alright, isn’t he? I just talked to him yesterday.”

 

“It isn’t anything like that. Everyone is fine. Everyone except… perhaps… you and Mr. Potter.”

 

Faith’s face turned dangerous, “Someone is threatening my child? Who?”

 

“Sirius Black…” Minerva said, gently. Her eyes were full of sympathy, and Faith could tell she was ready to give her another embrace.

 

“What?” Faith asked, blinking. She couldn’t… she couldn’t have _possibly_ heard that right. “But… but that’s _impossible_! He’s in _Azkaban_! _Nobody_ escapes from Azkaban!” She knew, because she’d done her fair share of research into the subject. “At least, not unless they’re assisted by someone _very_ powerful.” Much more powerful than she was.

 

“He’s the first person in _history_ to have escaped unassisted.” Minerva said, seeming personally insulted by the fact.

 

Of course he was. _Of course_ her beloved was the first person in _history_ to escape unassisted. He was magnificently clever, and in that moment, she fell in love with him all over again. But she knew that she couldn’t let her thoughts show on her face, so she kept it as blank as possible, “When did this happen?”

 

“Last night. They think he’s headed here, so you’ll need to remain alert. Don’t let Harry go anywhere unsupervised. If I were you, I’d go stay with the Weasleys so that you’re better protected.” Minerva warned.

 

“I’ll do just that.” She shook her head, “Actually, I wouldn’t be surprised if…”

 

“Faith! Faith darling! Terrible news! Get over here with Harry _immediately_! I don’t want to hear a single word against it, I won’t let you two stay there alone! Faith… _Faith_!” Molly’s voice came from the floo.

 

Faith rolled her eyes, “And… there it is.”

 

Minerva gave a sigh of relief, “I’m glad you have such good friends.” Minerva hugged Faith again, “Please be careful, Faith. I swear, I’d drag that villain back to Azkaban myself if I could.”

 

The thought was terrifying. But she hugged her back and said, “I’ll be careful. I promise.” And she would, just not in the way Minerva wanted.

 

That night, when everyone was asleep, Faith snuck out. She’d asked Kreacher to get her as much jerky and dried fruit as he could find, and when she received it she’d stuffed it in a rucksack she’d put an undetectable extension charm on; as well as several bars of soap, toothbrushes, toothpaste, and a canteen that she’d filled with pure, cold water and charmed to refill without the use of a wand (a charm of her own design, that she’d attempted to teach Sirius and James but that they’d been unable to master). When she got to their old house, for the first time in _years_ it felt like she was coming home, rather than to a haunted house. She went inside and grabbed Sirius’ pants, socks, trousers, shirts, a sturdy but comfortable pair of boots, and his woolen pea coat; cleaning them and stuffing them in along with the rest. Next, she apparated near the shrieking shack and went inside; she cleaned the room as best she could, restored the bed and made it with the sheets and pillows she’d brought from her house before placing the rucksack on top of it. It wasn’t much, but it was all she could do. She placed her hand on the bag and whispered, “Please, be careful purebred. I don’t know what you’re doing, but you’d better pull it off. I can only fight off so many dementors.”

 

With that, she reluctantly left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [My Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/bofurandori)
> 
> Please feel free to comment! I always love hearing from you <3


	25. Old Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It’d been a long time since they’d been together, but as close as they were physically, they’d never been so far apart in every other way.”  
> ― Jennifer Faye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters. I am not making any money off of this.

“You know, as long as I’ve known your family I’ve _never_ seen ‘Scabbers’.” Faith said, sipping tea and watching the children play quidditch through the window.

 

Molly turned, surprised, “Never? Not even at school?”

 

Faith shook her head, “No, never. You must do a good job of keeping the rat looking similar each time, though, for the kids to keep thinking it’s the same one.”

 

Molly frowned, “What do you mean?”

 

Faith rolled her eyes, “I mean, each time the old Scabbers dies, you must be able to find one really similar to keep fooling them like this.”

 

“Faith, it’s the same rat.” Molly said, matter-of-factly.

 

Faith sighed, “Fine, Molly, whatever you say.”

 

“No, really!” Molly insisted.

 

“Molly, that’s impossible. You told me you found the rat in your garden. Garden rats don’t live for 12 years.”

 

“Ours has.”

 

“Whatever you say.” Faith said, indulgently.

 

Molly shook her head and gave up.

 

“Oh! He’s so _handsome_!” Faith cooed as Hermione showed her Crookshanks.

 

The cat walked up to Faith and began to curl itself around her legs, nuzzling her and purring.

 

She bent down to stroke his fur, “You’re such a lovely boy, and you have _excellent_ taste in companions!” Faith said, winking at Hermione.

 

Hermione giggled and smiled proudly.

 

Crookshanks nuzzled into Faith’s hand for a scratch.

 

“Apparently, he’s been there for a while because nobody wanted him.” Hermione said with a frown.

 

“Oh, nonsense! If he was there for a long time, it was because _he_ didn’t want anyone. Half-Kneazle felines are very selective of their companions, amongst other things. They’re highly intelligent, and wonderful judges of character.” Faith stood back up, “I think you’ve made a lovely choice, Hermione. I really do.”

 

Hermione smiled, “Thank you, Faith.”

 

They walked for a bit when Faith stopped short, seemingly frozen in place. There, on a wall, was Sirius Black’s wanted poster. On it, the picture of Sirius Black was screaming violently. Tears came to Faith’s eyes, and she covered her mouth to hold back a whimper. It was almost as if she could hear Sirius, could hear him screaming “I didn’t do it! Why won’t you listen to me?!?” He looked so helpless, so frightened and alone. She’d never seen this picture, and wished that she never had.

 

**_Faith looked at him in confusion at first, then anger, “Sirius… what did you do?!?”_ **

****

**_He looked at her, and didn’t try to conceal the sorrow in his eyes, “I’m so sorry, Faith… I thought… I don’t know what I thought…”_ **

****

**_She snarled, “I told you he was up to something! You didn’t listen to me!”_ **

****

**_“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!” He ran his fingers through his hair, “I’ve ruined everything!”_ **

 

Hermione, mistaking her reaction for fear, hugged Faith before pulling on her hand. “Come on, Faith! Don’t look at it!”

 

Faith obediently went with Hermione to where the others were waiting, nearly shaking with emotion.

 

“Harry, my sweet boy! Are you alright? Did that terrible creature hurt you?” Faith asked, embracing Harry and stroking his hair comfortingly.

 

“I’m alright Mum, thanks to Professor Lupin.” Harry said, pulling back and turning to look at the new DADA professor.

 

Faith looked up, shocked, at her cousin. To say that he looked worse for the wear would have been an understatement. He had grey hair now, he looked bone tired, and his clothing was threadbare and poorly mended. Remus looked at her sheepishly and said, “Hello Fay.”

 

Faith’s face immediately transformed, and the three children stood back; having never seen Faith look at someone like that. Faith no longer looked like… Faith. She was tight lipped, eyes hard and cold, hands clenched as if she’d enjoy striking Remus; when she spoke, it sounded like a stranger’s voice, “I suppose I should thank you for saving my son.”

 

“You don’t have to thank me Fay… you know that.” Remus said, weakly.

 

Faith took a deep breath, then another, then another… finally after counting back from 10 her face relaxed again and she said, “But, I want to. Thank you, for helping him. I’m glad that you were there.”

 

Remus smiled at her, “You’re welcome.”

 

Looking lost, Faith mumbled, “If you’ll excuse me, I have to get back to the library… I’ll see you later, children.”

 

The children said their goodbyes, looking beyond confused, as they watched her leave. As soon as she was gone they looked back at Remus, searching for answers.

 

Faith “volunteered” to assist Hagrid with his class on Hippogriffs. It’s not that Hagrid didn’t know what he was doing, it was simply that she didn’t trust the children to obey his instructions… and she’d like the children to leave the lesson free of injury. She watched Harry fulfill Hagrid’s instructions beautifully, and was extremely proud of him as she watched him soar on Buckbeak. But she was glad that she was there when Draco Malfoy, getting his hackles up (again) about Harry succeeding, looked like he was going to just walk up to Buckbeak as if he was a parrot and not a fierce legendary creature.

 

Faith grabbed the back of his robe and held him back, causing Draco to turn and hiss, “What is the meaning of this?!?”

 

She smiled sweetly and said, “I’m sorry, Mr. Malfoy. But it seemed for a moment that you were just about to rush up to Buckbeak. But I know that couldn’t _possibly_ be your plan, since Professor Hagrid _just_ informed you about the proper way to proceed. And I _know_ that a clever young man such as yourself understands that an animal doesn’t care about your status in society, and so wouldn’t be the least bit remiss to punish you for not obeying protocol. You’re such a handsome, well-groomed young man I know that you wouldn’t want to take the chance of getting those large claws scraped against your pretty face. Now would you?”

 

Draco had paled considerably, something Faith wouldn’t have thought possible with his already alabaster skin, “No, I wouldn’t. Of course not! I was just… enthusiastic about being able to… bow politely to the nice Hippogriff.”

 

She smiled, “I thought so.”

 

Faith released Draco, and he proceeded to follow instructions. Buckbeak, however, did _not_ bow back to Draco and the boy went back to his friends without hesitation.

 

“So… Harry’s boggart is a dementor. I feel like that should have been a bigger surprise.” Faith said softly from the doorway of Remus’ office.

 

Remus looked up from his work and stood up quickly, “Fay!”

 

Faith was looking around the room, avoiding his gaze, “You know… last year this office was occupied by a very nasty man by the name of Gilderoy Lockhart. Made my life _miserable_ with his unwanted flirtation, and was completely inept at his job. Before that was a man by the name of Quirinus Quirrell, very odd man and not especially talented at the job _either_ … turned out to have you-know-who literally attached to the back of his skull. Kept it hidden with this purple, turban… thing. Badly wrapped and _highly_ inappropriate, even without the unwanted guest.” Finally, she met his eyes, “And now _you_. I suppose, given the circumstances, you’re the lesser of evils…”

 

Remus frowned, “I’m sorry, Fay… I know I’ve let you down. I’ve been a coward, and a disappointment.” He looked up at Faith again.

 

She raised an eyebrow, “Go on…”

 

“You’ve always been there for me. You never judged me for my… condition, and always helped me in any way you could. But when the tables were turned, and you needed my help and support… I ran away. I ran away, and used my condition to excuse it.” His eyes were sad and plaintive, “Can you ever forgive me?”

 

She gave a small smile, “Well… I suppose that I can be persuaded, if you practice good behavior from now on.”

 

Remus smiled, “I’ll do my best.”

 

Faith gave him a real smile, “Okay… I can live with that.”

 

They walked toward one another and embraced.

 

“It’s good to see you again, Remy. I’ve missed you.” Faith said, giving Remus a squeeze.

 

“I’ve missed you too, Faith.” Remus said as he buried his face in the crook of her neck.

 

When the embrace was finished, they set about the task of catching up with one another and deciding how to help Harry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [My Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/bofurandori)
> 
> Please feel free to comment! I always love hearing from you <3


	26. Haunted and Hunted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I want to be two people at once. One runs away.”   
> ― Peter Heller, The Dog Stars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters. I am not making any money off of this.

Faith smiled as she ran across the Golden Trio during their first Hogsmede visit. Harry was showing them everything there was to see. Hermione and Ron were following along, but at a slower pace and stealing glances at one another when the other wasn’t looking. Watching them made Faith feel nostalgic, Ron and Hermione’s relationship reminded her of Sirius and herself when they were that age. She wished them all the best, and would try not to interfere; even though she was certainly hoping that the match worked out well.

 

She’d always had a soft-spot for Ron, out of all the Weasley children. Part of that was likely because he was the same age as Harry, but it was mostly because of who he was as a person. Ron was funny and clever (in his own way), incredibly loyal, and could be so very kind and thoughtful at times; yet she knew he felt like he wasn’t special in comparison to his siblings. So, whenever she’d visited the family (which was quite often) she’d made a point of sneaking Ron an extra cookie, asking to play a game of chess, or some other bit of special attention to let him know she thought he was important. When Ron and Harry had made fast friends, she’d been incredibly pleased, and felt like everything was right in the world. As for Hermione, she absolutely _adored_ her. In fact, Hermione was perhaps the only person that Faith had ever met that could rival Lily for the title of “perfect human being” in her eyes. Hermione was always a welcome sight in the library, and they’d spent lots of time together pouring over books and discussing different things that Faith had learned and experienced over the years. She had a great deal of confidence in Hermione Granger, Faith expected amazing things from her.

 

When the trio saw her, they came and gave her a hug; asking if she’d like to come with them. She’d merely smiled and refused, telling them to have fun. Then she’d gone into the Three Broomsticks, where Rosmerta waved her over and poured her a butterbeer with a smile. When Faith sat down Rosmerta asked, with concern on her face, “How are you holding up, sweetheart?”

 

Faith did her best to make worried but hopeful appear to be sad and conflicted, “As well as can be expected.” Considering she didn’t know where Sirius was, or if he was alright.

 

Although she only subscribed to the Quibbler, she did buy a copy of the Daily Prophet when there was something she needed as much information on as possible. Such as when she met Gilderoy in that bookshop, or now while she wanted to make sure Sirius hadn’t been captured; every day she searched every article for any hint of what was happening to him. Otherwise, she was more than happy to stick with the Quibbler. Certainly, the Quibbler was mostly rubbish; But it was nice rubbish. Furthermore, when Sirius had been arrested and herself disgraced; Xenophilius Lovegood had been the only reporter to constantly say that she was innocent. Granted, it had been under the guise of her being the Princess of the secret country of Zoblaodor who had made an oath to be of the purest conduct; but she didn’t see that as necessarily a bad thing. In fact, after everything had quieted down she’d sent a note to Xenophilius, thanking him for treating her with such respect. When his daughter, Luna Lovegood, had come to Hogwarts last year; one of the first things she’d done was introduce herself, and tell Faith that her Father had gotten the note framed, and that it was hanging in his office.

 

That information had made Faith’s day. As did Luna constantly referring to her as “Your Highness”.

 

After sipping on the butterbeer, uneasy under Rosmerta’s increasingly concerned gaze, the woman went around the bar and hugged Faith. To say that Faith was surprised would be an understatement. She’d always liked Madame Rosmerta, certainly, but she hadn’t thought they were on hugging terms. Nor was she expecting Rosmerta to say a muffled, “If you ever need anything, just come by. I’m always here for you.”

 

Faith gently returned the embrace and said a cautious, “Thank you… I appreciate that.”

 

Rosmerta smiled and then went to serve some of the other customers.

 

The patron next to Faith said, “You know what you need? You need a good, strong man to take care of you.”

 

Faith turned her head and coldly considered the man next to her. His lecherous smile was beyond disturbing, as was the objectification in his gaze. Narrowing her eyes, she said, “Me? **_Need_** a _man_? Sir, the day a woman actually _needs_ a man for anything other than reproduction, parenting, or medical care is the day the ocean turns purple. Men are like wine… you don’t _need_ them, but they’re nice to have around (if you’re into that sort of thing). Unfortunately, sir, you’re clearly a sour bottle… so good luck on finding a pantry.” Without another word, she put some money on the bar and walked out.

 

When she returned to Hogwarts, she found out that Sirius had gotten into the castle. It was heartbreaking to see what Sirius had done to the… Curvaceous Lady. Faith knew he must be so frightened and frustrated, barely keeping his grip on reality after all those years in Azkaban and having the Dementors hunting him right now. She wished she could help him, but to do anything more for him than she already had would endanger her relationship with and custody of Harry… and she just couldn’t do that. She loved Sirius, but she had to protect Harry… she knew that he would understand.

 

That night, after the search for Sirius, Albus took her into his office. For a while, he stared at her long and hard. She met his gaze unwaveringly, daring him to see guilt in them. Finally, he asked, “Did you have anything to do with Sirius’ entry into Hogwarts?”

 

“No, sir.” She said, firmly.

 

“Are you sure? Are you sure that you didn’t do anything _indirectly_?”

 

“I haven’t done _anything_ , directly or indirectly, to help Sirius gain entry to Hogwarts.”

 

“You haven’t assisted him in any way?”

 

“I _have not_ given him assistance in gaining access anywhere or to anyone, and I haven’t helped him travel any distance. Whatever mission he’s on, it’s his alone. I’m in the dark about what’s going on, just like you.” She responded with absolute honesty.

 

Seemingly satisfied with that answer, Albus sighed, “Very well… I believe you. But I _will_ have to ask you to remain within Hogwarts grounds until Sirius Black is found.”

 

She blinked, “Excuse me?”

 

“There’s an empty set of chambers that you can stay in until this mess gets cleared up.”

 

Faith turned red, “So… you _believe me_ but you’re still going to _imprison me_?”

 

He gave her a hard look, “It’s either that, or I let the Aurors take you into custody as _they_ wish to. I assume that Hogwarts is a great deal more comfortable than Azkaban.”

 

She stood up, and gave him a dark look for a long time. Finally, she gritted out, “So, basically, no matter _what_ I do… the lot of you will always think I’m guilty.”

 

Albus sighed, “I’m afraid that, as long as Sirius Black lives… your lives will always be entwined in one way or the other.”

 

Tears came into her eyes, and her heart dropped. It was true… but to have it put in such a damning way made her want to beat her fists on the ground and curse the heavens. She respected Albus Dumbledore, and she’d thought that he respected her. But that respect came with conditions that would always leave their relationship wanting.

 

Faith had been as true and constant a follower of Dumbledore as (most) anyone else in the Order; she’d risked her life for the cause he’d set forth many times, trusted him implicitly, and now had dedicated her life to service in the institution he headed. Despite whatever differences they’d had, she always tried to assume the best about the Headmaster. She knew that he was helping her now, and perhaps he truly _did_ believe her… but it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t enough because he had to _ask her_ if she was innocent. He didn’t _really_ trust that she would never do anything to endanger the students, let alone her _godson_. And it hurt, it truly did. But, she wasn’t in a position to argue with him, so she merely replied in a defeated tone, “I appreciate you keeping me out of Azkaban yet again, sir.”

 

He gave her a sad look, “Faith… you know that I think very highly of you…”

 

To that, Faith could only laugh, “Well, of _course_ you do!” Her eyes filled with bitter tears, “Of course you think _very_ highly of me. It’s just that I might also be an amoral woman who would do anything, no matter how terrible, for her former lover. I’m just so very _helpless_ in the face of the moral quandary of whether to help someone harm children, or to protect said children. It’s not like I’ve ever put my life on the line to keep the residents of this school safe, or gone out of my way to cause them happiness. I’m just a vile, selfish woman that you think _so very highly of_.”

 

“Miss Howell, you’re overreacting…”

 

“Oh, _am I_? I’m so sorry, I just tend to get that way when I’m being accused _yet again_ of conspiring to harm my loved ones. Now, if we’re done here, I’d like to go to my new room.”

 

“It’s for your own protection, as well, you know.”

 

“Even better! Not only am I morally vulnerable, I can’t protect myself! Excellent!”

 

Albus gave a long suffering sigh, “I’ll show you to your room…”

 

“Thank you, sir. Much appreciated.”

 

When she got to her room, Remus was waiting for her. After Albus left, she threw herself into Remus’ arms, “It’s happening _again_!”

 

He held her tightly, “I know… but I’m here for you, and I’m not going anywhere.”

 

She nuzzled into his shoulder and cried. Having to be reminded of every terrible thing that had happened, and of everything she’d lost, was absolutely devastating. She felt like a little girl, frightened and confused. Part of her wanted to fight against all that was happening and save Harry and Sirius, as well as herself; another wanted to figure out how to prove that she as a ‘good person’ and that she could be trusted; but a larger part of her than she cared to admit wanted to run away. To run so fast and so far that maybe, just maybe, the life she’d made for herself wouldn’t catch her. It wasn’t the first time she’d felt that way, but every time that demon showed its ugly head she wanted to beat it down with a metal club. But finally, she calmed herself enough to merely feel helpless; causing her to whimper, “I don’t know what to do, Remy.”

 

He stroked her hair, “You’re going to get through this, just like always. You’re a survivor, and I have every confidence in you.”

 

“I don’t want to just _survive_ , I want to _live_!” She wailed, “I don’t want to be afraid all the time! I want to be _free_! I thought… I thought that _at least_ our friends didn’t die for nothing… because You-Know-Who was dead. They’d destroyed him. _Harry_ had destroyed him! But, he wasn’t. He was still out there, _lurking_ like the parasite he is! And now every horrible thing that happened is coming back to haunt us, and… and I just want Harry to be alright. I don’t… I _can’t_ care about anything else that happens, as long as he’s alright.” She hid herself in Remus’ shirt, “But they _still_ think that I’d endanger him, that I’d choose _anyone_ over his safety and happiness! What do I have to _do_ to be free of this nonsense?!?”

 

Looking pained, he sighed and kissed the top of her head as he rocked her gently back and forth, “I don’t have an answer for that, Button. I wish I did. If I could take away all the painful things that have and are happening to you, I would. You know that, right?”

 

She sniffed, and nodded, “I know that…”

 

“We’re going to get through this. You and me against the world, remember?”

 

She smiled weakly, “I remember.”

 

Faith watched Harry play Quidditch, cheering him on despite her worries about the Dementors’ interest in him. He couldn’t summon a patronus yet, and even if he _could_ , he wouldn’t be able to while racing on a broom. Remus patted her hand and smiled, “It’ll be alright, Fay. Nothing is going to happen.”

 

She smiled, dubiously, at him, “I _really_ wish you wouldn’t say things like that.”

 

Harry flew high into the clouds, where she couldn’t see him, and her heart turned cold. She had a _very bad_ feeling about this.

 

Suddenly, Harry began to fall from the sky.

 

Faith _screamed_.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please feel free to comment! I always love hearing from you <3
> 
> [My Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/bofurandori)


	27. My boyfriend's back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My boyfriend's back and you're gonna be in trouble  
> (Hey-la-day-la my boyfriend's back)  
> You see him comin' better cut out on the double  
> (Hey-la-day-la my boyfriend's back)  
> You been spreading lies that I was untrue  
> (Hey-la-day-la my boyfriend's back)  
> So look out now cause he's comin' after you  
> (Hey-la-day-la my boyfriend's back)
> 
> (Hey, he knows that you been tryin')  
> (And he knows that you been lyin')
> 
> He's been gone for such a long time  
> (Hey-la-day-la my boyfriend's back)  
> Now he's back and things'll be fine  
> (Hey-la-day-la my boyfriend's back)  
> You're gonna be sorry you were ever born  
> (Hey-la-day-la my boyfriend's back)  
> Cause he's kinda big and he's awful strong  
> (Hey-la-day-la my boyfriend's back)
> 
> \- The Angels

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters. I am not making any money off of this.

The twins gave Harry the Marauder’s Map, and he was greeted with the words:

“Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs & Miss Cuddles

Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief-Makers

are proud to present

THE MARAUDER'S MAP"

 

When Faith woke up on Christmas morning she found a small bouquet of forget-me-nots on the foot of her bed. She gingerly picked it up and touched the petals, finding a small piece of paper with a heart written on it. With a smile, Faith smelled the flowers and her heart lifted knowing that Sirius was alright… at least for now.

 

When Faith went downstairs, Harry was gleefully unwrapping a broom shaped package. “A Firebolt!” He said, excitedly. Then he looked up at Faith, “Is it from you?”

 

No note, apparently, yet it had Sirius Black written all over it. She smiled softly and said, “It’s from a friend of ours. He’s a big fan of yours, and of Quidditch in general.” Which was 100% true.

 

“Who is it?!?” He asked, wide eyed.

 

She shook her head and grinned, “If he wanted you to know, he would’ve left a note.”

 

Harry pouted, “Alright… Can I go try it outside?”

 

“Of course! But just for a little while, Mum and Dad are expecting us for dinner and I won’t have you showing up muddy and ungroomed.” Faith cautioned.

 

“Alright, I’ll be back soon; I promise!” Harry said, heading out the door.

 

“And wear your coat and scarf!” She yelled after him, laughing.

 

“The presents were brought by Miss Granger’s cat, Faith Howell. It was a bit… odd.” Kreacher said, thoughtfully, as he came to stand next to her.

 

Faith’s eyebrows raised, “Truly? Well… that’s _quite_ original, isn’t it?” She desperately tried to sound nonchalant. So _that_ was Sirius’ helper. She’d have to remember to give Crookshanks a plate of kippers the next time she saw him.

 

“You’re not the least bit concerned?” Kreacher asked, seeming surprised.

 

“Not this time, my friend. But do keep me informed, as always.”

 

Kreacher smiled and nodded, “Of course. Now, it’s time for your morning tea.”

 

She sighed indulgently, “Yes, lead the way.”

 

“I’ve _never_ seen Scabbers…” Faith whispered to herself after hearing about Sirius tearing up Ron’s curtains. “In all the years I’ve known the Weasleys, and taught their children… I’ve _never_ , _ever_ seen Scabbers.” Her alarm began to grow. “How could I have been so _foolish_?!?!” Peter’s animagus form had been a rat, a bloody _rat_! A small, easily missed _rat_! A creature that could’ve gotten away after framing the man she loved! A DAMN RAT! **_PETER PETTIGREW WAS FUCKING SCABBERS AND SHE HADN’T BLOODY NOTICED!!!!!!_**

 

That _had_ to be the explanation! She hunted down the copies of the Daily Prophet from when Sirius escaped; and sure enough, _there_ was a rat in the picture with the rest of the Weasley family.

 

Rushing out of the Library, not worrying that it was night time, Faith went looking for Remus. He had to hear about this. Tomorrow she would ask Harry to lend her the map, and hopefully it would show the truth. That Peter wasn’t dead, and had been hiding right under their noses; that Sirius was innocent, just as she’d always insisted.

 

But on her way, she noticed a light in the hallway. She went toward it and heard Severus sneer, “How extraordinarily like your Father you are, Potter. Always strutting about the castle…”

 

“My Father didn’t strut…” Harry began defending.

 

But then Faith jumped in, “Oh no, he did my darling.” She walked up to them, smiling with a warmth that she didn’t really feel. “But it was endearing.” Fucking Severus, he could still be so damn _nasty_ ; despite his softening over the years. Even after her _repeated_ requests for Severus not to bring his feud with James into his teacher/student relationship with Harry, apparently, he couldn’t help himself. “So, what’s this, then?” She smiled between them.

 

“I caught your Godson lurking about, even though he knows perfectly well that he’s in danger from Sirius Black.” Severus spat.

 

“Lurking? Why, I can’t imagine Harry _lurking_ like some villain. Exploring, yes, Lurking, no.” She smiled at Harry and cooed, “Darling, what’s this all about? Couldn’t you sleep?” She gave him a quick look that demanded he play along.

 

Blessedly, Harry got the hint. He sighed and shook his head, “No, I couldn’t. I had too much on my mind, and thought a walk would clear my head.”

 

“I understand,” Faith replied, going up to him and wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “But Professor Snape is right, you really shouldn’t be out this late; and you know it.”

 

He bowed his head in shame, “Yes, Mum.”

 

“Not _quite_ yet.” Severus said, stopping them.

 

Faith looked at him angrily, furious that he wasn’t letting this go.

 

Severus ignored her, “Turn out your pockets, Potter.”

 

“Why?” Harry asked, turning his chin up.

 

Severus glared, “Turn. Out. Your. Pockets!”

 

Harry pulled out… the Marauders’ map.

 

“What’s that?” Severus asked.

 

“Just a bit of parchment…” Harry replied.

 

Severus put his wand to the paper and cast, “Reveal your secrets!”

 

Oh dear… this wasn’t going to be good. Faith sighed, prepared for what was going to happen.

 

“Read it!” Severus demanded.

 

Harry looked down, “Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs as well as Miss Cuddles present their compliments to Professor Snape and…”

 

Severus glared, “Go on…”

 

Harry looked up with a smirk, and Faith groaned internally. “And request that he keep his abnormally large nose out of other people’s business.”

 

Severus turned red. “Why you _insolent_ little…”

 

“Now, now, Severus… it really _does_ say that.” Faith reassured him. She gently took the map out of Harry’s hands and said, “It’s _clearly_ a parchment that’s designed to insult anyone that tries to read it.” She looked down at Harry, “Right?”

 

Harry nodded, “Right!”

 

Remus walked up to them, “What’s all this then?”

 

Severus gave Remus a strange look, and said (almost breathlessly), “Lupin…” Then straightened up, “Out for a little walk in the moonlight, are we?”

 

Remus gave him an equally strange look, then turned to Harry and gently asked in his sweet caramel voice, “Harry? Are you alright?”

 

Faith looked between the two, confused as always by the two’s strange new relationship. Those two had been at one another’s throats ever since her cousin had come to work there. Unusually so, actually. In fact, they almost seemed to go out of their way to _find one another_ so that they could fight. Nearly every time she had a conversation with one, the other would pop up and start an argument. Several times, they’d argued about which one was the better companion to _her_ ; which seemed completely ridiculous. They were adults, there was no reason to argue over such petty things. And it was _always_ something petty. In fact, it almost reminded her of her relationship with Sirius in their 3 rd to 5th years; two people incredibly drawn to one another, but with no idea what to do about the unwanted attraction and so it manifested as dislike. But it couldn’t be _that_! Not that it was unheard of for two men to be attracted to one another after showing interest in women, but Remus and Severus? No, it couldn’t be possible.

 

“That remains to be seen,” Severus said, then gave Faith a dark look before snatching the map from her hands. “I’ve just confiscated a parchment from Mr. Potter. Clearly, it’s filled with dark magic.” He glared at Faith, “Although Miss Howell seems to believe it’s a simple joke.”

 

Faith returned Severus’ glare. Why did he have to be such a _shit_?

 

Severus held out the parchment to Lupin, “Take a look, Lupin, it’s supposed to be your area of expertise.”

 

Remus looked at it, then gave Severus an incredulous look and said, “I seriously doubt it, Severus. I believe that Faith is right, it’s merely a piece of paper designed to insult whoever reads it.” Remus laughed, “I suspect it’s a Zonko product.”

 

“Precisely! They’ve come up with such amusing things!” Faith smiled, chuckling.

 

Remus smiled back at her. They exchanged a look that silently spelled out their plan for what to do about this; a feature of their relationship that had been perfected over the years, and that their friends had always marveled at.

 

Severus tried to take the map from Remus, but he quickly pulled it away, “Nevertheless, I shall investigate its properties immediately. As you said, this _is_ my area of expertise.”

 

If looks could kill, Remus would have been dead underneath Severus’ intense glare.

 

“Harry, would you come with me please? You too, Fay.” Remus said, nodding his head in the direction of his office.

 

“Of course, Remy.” Faith cooed, then glared at Severus. “Goodnight _Professor Snape_!”

 

Severus merely sneered.

 

Faith decided that she wasn’t going to talk to him for _at least_ a week.

 

Remus smiled courteously, “Goodnight Professor.”

 

After Remus and Faith had made a show of gently reprimanding Harry for his ‘recklessness’, they’d both had a long, hard discussion about Peter Pettigrew’s appearance on the Marauder’s map. And, for the first time in a long time, their relationship was whole.

 

Faith couldn’t run fast enough. After watching Remus drink his Wolfbane they’d gone for a walk, and seen Sirius dragging Ron into the Whomping Willow. Thankfully, Harry and Hermione had gotten away from the Willow’s wrath, but that didn’t mean they were safe. Or Sirius, for that matter. She would have strong words for Sirius for dragging Ron off like that, but Sirius wouldn’t have a wand and she trusted that Sirius wouldn’t fight back if Harry tried to hurt him. And, knowing Harry, that was very likely. They poked the spot that stopped the willow from attacking, and ran up into the Shrieking Shack, just in time to hear Sirius laugh and ask, “Are you going to kill me Harry?”

 

“No!” Faith screamed, jumping through the door and casting, “Expelliarmus!”

 

She looked at Harry, tackling Sirius to the ground, and a lump came to her throat. Faith nodded for Harry to move away, and thankfully he did so as she kept her wand trained on her former fiancée. Sirius was clearly worse for the wear; but he was relatively clean, not dangerously thin, and dressed in the clothes she’d provided him with. Good.

 

Faith was frozen in place, not sure how to proceed. Thankfully, Remus immediately came behind her and whispered, “Go on, check on the children.”

 

She nodded, and forced herself to look away from Sirius as she went to the children. With a weak smile that was meant to be reassuring, she cast a healing charm on Ron’s ankle as Remus spoke. She wouldn’t be able to heal his ankle completely, but she could at least clean it.

 

“Well, well, Sirius. Looking rather ragged, aren’t we? Finally, the flesh reflects the madness within.” Remus said tauntingly.

 

“You would know all about the madness within, now, wouldn’t you Remus?” Sirius countered.

 

Faith turned to them, narrowing her eyes.

 

They smiled at one another and then Remus helped him up, and they embraced. Sirius was laughing unsteadily, “I found him, Remus.”

 

“I know…” Remus replied.

 

“It’s him…”

 

“I understand…”

 

“Let’s kill him!” Sirius said in a bloodthirsty voice.

 

Shit. Here it came. Why the _fuck_ couldn’t this have happened _without_ the children’s presence? Why did everything _always_ have to be so damn _complicated_? Now Hermione would surely…

 

“No! I trusted you!” Hermione screamed, heartbroken and angry.

 

Remus looked back at her.

 

“And all this time, you’ve been his friend…” Hermione spat.

 

Remus looked at Sirius, and the downtrodden look on Sirius’ face almost broke her heart.

 

Before they could say anything, Faith stood up. “Hermione…”

 

Hermione looked back at her, desperately, “Aren’t you angry? He’s your cousin, you’ve kept his secret all this time, and now he does _this_!”

 

“Hermione, what…” Harry started.

 

“He’s a werewolf, Harry! That’s why he’s been missing classes!” Hermione spat out.

 

“How long have you known?” Remus asked.

 

“Since Professor Snape assigned the essay…”

 

“My, my, my Hermione; you really are the cleverest witch of your age I’ve ever met.” Remus looked at Faith, “Next to you, of course, Fay.”

 

“Enough talk, let’s kill him!” Sirius yelled.

 

Remus turned to Sirius, “Not yet, if you’ll just _wait_!”

 

“ ** _I’ve done my waiting!_** Twelve years… in **_Azkaban_**!” Sirius screamed out desperately. Then his eyes met Faith’s, and her heart clenched. “Apple, please…”

 

Faith moved in front of the children, and they unconsciously gathered behind her. In the middle of the turmoil she was a safe and steady presence, watching the two men cautiously. There was danger in the air, and she wasn’t going to let anything happen to her babies. She knew what was going on, but that didn’t mean the children couldn’t get hurt in the crossfire.

 

Remus stared at Sirius for a moment, then sighed and handed Sirius his wand, “Very well, kill him. But wait one more minute; Harry deserves to know _why_!”

 

“I know why!” Harry shouted from next to Faith, “You betrayed my parents! You’re the reason they’re dead!”

 

“No, Harry… it wasn’t him.” Faith said quietly.

 

Harry looked up at her, “What?”

 

“It was someone else. Someone who my dear, sweet cousin thought until _quite_ recently was dead.” She said, a hard look coming into her eyes.

 

“Mum, what are you talking about?” Harry asked, uncertainty in his eyes.

 

“Peter Pettigrew! And he’s in this room… right now!” Sirius said, gesturing dramatically and sounding thoroughly unhinged. “Come out Peter! Come out, come out and play!”

 

“Expelliarmus!” Severus shouted, disarming Sirius, as he came up the stairs.

 

Wonderful, Faith groaned internally.

 

“Oh, vengeance is _sweet_! I’d hoped I’d be the one to catch you Sirius.” Severus sneered.

 

“Severus please…” Remus started.

 

Severus turned to Remus, “I told Dumbledore you were helping an old friend into the castle, and now here’s the proof.” With a quick look at Faith he said, “Come on, Faith, we’ll take them to the castle together.”

 

Shit.

 

Sirius walked forward, “Brilliant, Severus; once again you’ve put your keen and penetrating mind to the task and, as usual, come to the wrong conclusion.” Oh, _Merlin_ he still had a way with words! “Now, if you’ll excuse us, we have some unfinished business to attend to!”

 

Severus poked his wand into Sirius’ jaw, “Give me a reason, I beg you…”

 

“Severus, don’t be a fool…” Remus held his hands up.

 

“He can’t help it, it’s habit by now…” Sirius hissed.

 

“Sirius, be quiet!” Remus cautioned.

 

“Be quiet yourself, Remus!” Sirius shouted back.

 

“Sirius, please!” Faith cried out, finally stepping forward. She couldn’t do this anymore.

 

Severus looked at her, “Don’t tell me you had something to do with this, Faith? Not after all this man has done to you?”

 

She held up her hands, tears coming to her eyes, “Please, Severus, don’t hurt him! You don’t understand…”

 

A hard look came into Severus’ eyes, “I think I understand _perfectly!_ ”

 

“Why don’t you run along and play with your _chemistry set_!” Sirius sneered.

 

Severus turned back to Sirius, “I could do it, you know. But why deny the dementors? They’re so _longing_ to see you!” Severus growled.

 

“Severus…” Faith said, darkly, gripping her wand and moving forward. He didn’t want her to make this choice, he really didn’t.

 

But he took no notice of her, “Do I detect a flicker of fear? The dementors kiss, I can only imagine what that must be like to endure. It’s said to be nearly unbearable to witness, _but I’ll do my best_!”

 

Faith began to snarl, grasping her wand and slowly moving forward.

 

“After you!” Severus said, nodding for the children to follow him.

 

Before Faith could cast the hex on her lips, Harry lifted his wand.

 

Sirius prepared for a blow, and Faith turned (surprised and desperate), “Harry, please don’t!”

 

But then Harry pointed the wand at Severus and cast, “Expelliarmus!”

 

Faith cried in surprise, watching Severus smash through the bed in a cloud of dust.

 

Ron and Hermione were shouting at Harry in disbelief. But Faith found herself running toward Sirius, and he met her with open arms. Before she knew it, he’d wrapped her to him tightly, kissing her face and hair. She wanted to weep.

 

“Tell me about Peter Pettigrew!” Harry demanded, wand still raised.

 

Faith and Sirius looked at each other, then at Harry; not leaving one another’s arms.

 

“He was at school with us, we thought he was our friend…” Remus answered.

 

“Naïve things that we were…” Faith frowned, disgusted.

 

Sirius held her to him.

 

“No, Pettigrew’s dead. He killed him!” Harry countered, pointing at Sirius.

 

“I thought so too, until I saw him on the map.” Remus said, walking toward Harry.

 

“The map was lying then!” Harry said, clearly confused.

 

“The map doesn’t lie, Harry!” Faith said, leaving Sirius’ arms but still holding his hand.

 

“Pettigrew’s alive! And he’s right _there_!” Sirius pointed toward Ron, where Scabbers/Peter was in his grasp.

 

“Me? He’s _mental_!” Ron said, looking around. Faith would have to speak with Ron about such language.

 

“Not _you_ …” Sirius huffed in frustration. “Your _rat_!”

 

“Scabbers?” Ron said, holding the rat tightly. “He’s been in my family for…”

 

“Twelve years…” Sirius said, walking forward. “Curiously long life for a common garden rat. He’s missing a toe, isn’t he?”

 

“So what?” Ron countered.

 

“All they could find of Pettigrew was his…” Harry started.

 

“Finger!” Sirius was right in front of Ron, “The coward cut it off so that everyone would think he was dead! And then he transformed into a rat!” Sirius turned to Faith, “Rather surprised you didn’t notice this, love.”

 

Faith sighed, “He’s rather good at hiding, as you can imagine.”

 

“Show me!” Harry demanded, handing him the wand he’d been holding.

 

Sirius bent down and grabbed at Scabbers, and Ron fought him at first.

 

“Give it to him, Ron.” Harry insisted.

 

“What are you trying to do to him? Scabbers!” Ron wailed as Sirius took Scabbers by the scruff and walked toward Faith, who had her wand ready. “Get off him! What are you doing?”

 

The three all aimed the spell that would transform him back into a human. Eventually, Sirius got him, and the rat turned into Pettigrew as he was trying to get through a hole. They pried Peter out of the hole and all three pointed their wands at him.

 

Peter looked at them, “Faith, Remus, Sirius… my old _friends_!” He pretended to go toward them for an embrace, then tried to make a run for it. They pushed him back.

 

Peter then turned to Harry, “Harry? Look at you! You look so much like your Father, like James, we were the best of friends you know!”

 

Before Faith could, Sirius jumped between them and hissed, “How _dare_ you speak to Harry?” Sirius chased him away, “How _dare_ you speak about James in front of him?!?”

 

Oh, she _did_ love Sirius Black. Yes, she did.

 

They chased Peter behind the piano and Remus asked, “You sold James and Lily to Voldemort, didn’t you?”

 

“You cowardly scum!” Faith hissed, pointing her wand meaningfully.

 

“I didn’t _mean_ to!” Peter whined. “The Dark Lord, you have no _idea_ the weapons he possesses!” He turned to Sirius, “I ask you, Sirius. What would _you_ have done? What would _you_ have done?”

 

Sirius looked rightfully insulted by the question, and spat out, “I would have died! I would have _died_ rather than betray my friends!” Yes! Yes, she _knew_ it!

 

Peter ran toward the door, but Harry stopped him.

 

Sirius turned to Faith, silently asking if she believed that.

 

She smiled at him, and nodded, letting him know she had.

 

He returned the smile, an adoring look in his eyes.

 

Peter went to Harry, “Harry, your Dad wouldn’t have wanted me dead. Your Dad would have spared me, he would have shown me mercy!”

 

The three of them pried Peter off Harry, and when he was pushed away Faith went to Harry and touched his face. “Are you alright?”

 

He shook his head, an angry look in his eyes, “I will be, though.”

 

She touched his hair and kissed his forehead before joining her friends.

 

“You should have realized Peter, that if Voldemort didn’t kill you then we would.” He looked at the other two, and they nodded in agreement. “Together!” Yes, this time, together.

 

“No!” Harry shouted.

 

They paused, wands still raised.

 

Faith turned to Harry, “Harry, this man…”

 

“I know what he is…” Harry walked forward. “We’ll take him to the castle…”

 

Faith groaned, but let him speak.

 

Peter got on his knees, “Bless you, boy!” He went to grab Harry’s ankles, “Bless you!”

 

“Get off!” Harry shouted in disgust. “I said we would take you to the castle… after that, the dementors can have you.”

 

Faith’s eyebrows raised, “The idea has merit…”

 

Peter whimpered.

 

Sirius and Remus agreed. Remus kept his wand aimed at Peter, and Sirius went to Faith and touched her hair. “Faith, my angel, I…”

 

She turned and kissed his wrist, “Later, love. Go help Ron.” She smirked, “Don’t think I’ve forgotten how shamefully you acted, earlier.”

 

He looked at her, apologetically, “Understood.”

 

But she kissed his cheek, then they went to the children.

 

As they made their way down the stairwell, Sirius apologized, “Sorry about the bite… I reckon that twinges a bit…”

 

“A bit? A bit?!? You almost tore my leg off!” Ron shouted.

 

“Well, I _was_ going for the rat! Normally, I have a very sweet disposition as a dog. In fact, more than once, you Dad suggested I make the change permanent. The tail I could live with, but the fleas… they’re murder.” Sirius joked.

 

Harry laughed.

 

Faith looked down at him from where she was leading Peter. “Oh? Was that the _only_ reason?”

 

He turned and smiled flirtatiously at her, “Well, not the _only_ reason.”

 

She rolled her eyes, then smiled at him.

 

When they finally got Peter to the castle, Remus’ untimely transformation notwithstanding, everything happened rather quickly. Sirius was vindicated, and Peter was led off to get the kiss.

 

When Albus asked what Sirius wanted to do now that he was free, Sirius looked at Faith questioningly.

 

Faith smiled and took his hand, “Let’s go home.”

 

Sirius smiled, and sighed in relief, “Yes, _finally_.”

 

They would have to talk. But they could do that later.

 

Once the children were safely back in their rooms, Faith led Sirius back to the house. Although Kreacher wasn’t happy to see Sirius, he didn’t try to challenge him being there when he saw them holding hands.

 

They were so tired that they simply collapsed on the couch, wrapped in one another’s arms, and fell asleep instantly. The best sleep they’d had in 12 years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please feel free to comment! I love hearing from you <3
> 
> [My Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/bofurandori)


	28. The distance between us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope." —Maya Angelou

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters. I am not making any money off of this.

When Faith woke up in the morning, she felt a comforting warmth and heard a familiar heartbeat. But, after 12 years of having this dream, it only made her angry. She sat up and shook herself, ready to glare at her empty bed, only to see Sirius laying there asleep. As she gazed at him, she realized that this was no longer the man she’d loved 12 years ago; wrinkles from years of stress and hardship now marred his handsome face; he was no longer toned and strong, but slender and frail; his hair was longer than it had ever been and he had an unkempt beard; but more than anything, he simply looked… older.

 

She gently extracted herself from the couch and went into the loo; suddenly feeling the need to look at herself in the mirror. For the first time in a long time, she took a good, hard look at herself. Her face had lost some of its roundness over time, and her forehead now had shallow lines running across it despite having been using wrinkle cream since her mid-20’s; and although her brown hair hid them she’d been finding grey hairs on her pillow from time to time along with white eyebrow hairs sticking out like a phantom in her vision (which was a symptom of aging she’d never considered before); and her body shape had shifted slightly over time, losing a bit of its baby fat but gaining cellulite on her ass and the back of her hips. But, for the most part, her signs of aging usually went unnoticed (partially because no one had seen her naked other than healers in 12 years) and most people who didn’t know her guessed her a great deal younger. Still, she was changed. Whatever aging didn’t show up on the outside, she felt on the inside. It had been a very long and tedious 12 years, full of loneliness and a constant struggle against bitterness.

 

She was no longer the woman he had loved 12 years ago.

 

What were they going to do? It wasn’t as if they could pick up where they left off, that wasn’t something that happened in reality. Whatever feelings they had for one another were ghosts of a past life, which gave them something to start with but they weren’t building blocks for a relationship. If they were going to be together, they’d need to get to know one another all over again. What if they didn’t like one another anymore? What if she’d been holding on to him for all these years and now that they were together again they no longer fit? They’d both changed, their lives had gone down incredibly different paths, and it wouldn’t be surprising if they simply didn’t work anymore.

 

But then Sirius was behind her, in the doorway, and giving her an exasperated look. “What are you doing, Apple?”

 

“I’m…” She began, then sighed.

 

He rolled his eyes dramatically, then said, “You’re over thinking things, that’s what you’re doing. Merlin, some things never change.”

 

She glared at him, “Right, such as I still don’t enjoy your proclivity towards being a contemptuous asshole.”

 

He stared at her for a moment, wide eyed, then burst out laughing.

 

After a moment, she snorted and began to laugh as well.

 

As they laughed together, suddenly the distance between them didn’t seem so large; the years of separation not so long.

 

When they had calmed down a bit, he came over and gave her a kiss on the forehead, smiling down into her eyes, “I’ve missed you.”

 

She returned the smile, “I’ve missed you too.”

 

He combed his fingers through her hair, “I know what you’re thinking. You’re wondering if we’ve changed too much, if too much time has passed for us to make sense…”

 

She gave a weak smile, “We knew one another for 10 years, Sirius. You’ve been gone for 12…”

 

“I know, I know…” He pulled her to him and cradled her in his arms. “But this is _us_ we’re talking about. Sometimes, love really does last forever; despite any odds that are set in its path. I believe with all my heart that if anyone can find something like that, it’s you and I.” He looked into her eyes, “What about you? What do you believe?”

 

She looked at him for a long moment, then smiled and said with complete honesty, “I believe so, too.”

 

He grinned, then leaned down to kiss her.

 

She laughed and pulled away slightly, “None of that until you’ve brushed your teeth.”

 

He laughed and kissed her nose, “Fair enough.” He held her close and she rested her head on his shoulder, sighing happily.

 

A little while later, Faith was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of tea as Kreacher made breakfast. He’d been complaining about Sirius all morning, and Faith had been gently telling him that everything would be alright; that things were not the same as last time they’d met.

 

He gave her a look, “You realize, of course, that his return means that I belong to Sirius Black again.”

 

She looked at him, “No, I still have legal rights to everything he left me. His will didn’t state a temporary arrangement, when he went to jail everything was mine. Period. Now, it’s at my discretion what I give back to him.”

 

Kreacher looked at her, wide eyed, “You will not give back Sirius Black’s possessions?”

 

She waved the comment away, “Of course I will. He may have everything except _you._ I already discussed it with him, and he’s fine with it.”

 

Kreacher went wide eyed, “Truly?”

 

She smiled, “Yes, everything is fine. You’re not going anywhere without me, so don’t worry.”

 

He smiled back and said, “Good.” Then happily went back to cooking breakfast.

 

A few minutes later, Sirius walked in wearing only a towel. His long, dark hair had been washed and trimmed and he’d shaped his facial hair; his tattoos shimmered with moisture and although he was no longer athletic looking he still looked… _quite good_. He smiled at her, his teeth now a clean and healthy color as well as clearly flossed, “Faith, where are my clothes?”

 

She swallowed hard, and suddenly remembered how long it had been since she’d had sex with another person, “Oh… right… clothes. Well… they’re not _your_ clothes, precisely, but I bought a few basics… just in case this happened… nothing fancy, mind you, just clothing… we can get you something else later… right now it’s just pants… blue jeans… pants… white t-shirts… socks… pants…”

 

He smirked and leaned against the doorframe, “Not sure I need that many pants, love, but thank you.”

 

She shook her head and blushed, “Right… right… actually, it’s just one package of pants…” She set down her tea and hurried from the room.

 

As she went upstairs she noticed that Sirius was casually following behind her, not seeming at all worried about the precarious hold of his towel, or about going toward her bedroom. Smug bastard.

 

When they got to her room, she opened a drawer to reveal the few sets of clothing she’d bought for him. He smiled, “So… I have my own drawer.”

 

She nodded, “Yes, well, I had to keep it somewhere.”

 

He leaned in close, smiling, “It could’ve been in a box in the closet.”

 

She blinked, that thought hadn’t occurred to her. It would certainly be less intimate than cleaning out a dresser drawer for him. “Oh… right…”

 

He bent down and picked up the pants, smiling, “I’ve been thinking about how amazing it is that, after all these years, you still remember what kind of pants I like.”

 

“Well…” She searched for an appropriate excuse. She found nothing. “I just do.”

 

He reached past her to put down the pants, then smiled a seductive smile, “You know… you were always beautiful, Faith. But somehow, you’re even more beautiful now then you were at 21. It’s not really fair.” He nuzzled her ear, “I can behave myself, if you’d like…” Then moved to nuzzle her nose with his, “Or not…” He smiled at her, earnestly. “It’s your choice.”

 

After a moment’s hesitation, she pulled out her wand and used it to shut and lock the door.

 

He grinned and kissed her. At first it was gentle and sweet, but then that small spark soon turned into a wildfire. They quickly began clutching at one another, biting, sucking, and grabbing everything within reach. Within moments they were both naked and writhing on the bed together.

 

Sirius growled filthy desires into her ear, and it made her clutch him to her as she moaned.

 

Shortly after, Kreacher heard squeaks and moans coming from upstairs and couldn’t help but roll his eyes and shake his head.

 

After they were both satisfied, and had taken a long nap, they both decided that they needed another shower. They took one together, to save water of course.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [My Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/bofurandori)
> 
> Please feel free to comment! I always love hearing from you <3

**Author's Note:**

> So, yeah... Here's another original character for you. I hope you like this new story.


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